The last difficult post of the day was also written from my days when I was in the grip of depression. This poem/vignette is about self-harm, something which I do not encourage anyone to do and if you are thinking about it then please reach out for help, from anyone you trust or from trained professionals.
It was in one of my darkest days that I wrote this. A day that my head and body felt nothing. It was in this space that I understood why people self-harm. I would like to add that I never did, but when that moment dawned, I thought how nice it would be to feel something, anything, even pain.
The LGBT+ community suffers much more than other sectors of society. The Christmas period is often a difficult time for some people, I understand why, It can be for me too.
If you are suffering, then please talk to someone you trust. All life is precious. You are precious. We all have something to offer. You are not insignificant. People love you.
There’s a story coming up later, a refreshed version of one of my older ones. It is through my writing that you understand me.
I have a couple of difficult posts this morning. The first is my poem/vignette, “A Worthless Existence”.
It was written to try and explain how I feel when I descend into a deep depression. I find it difficult to read such things while I am feeling well as it reminds me of how bad it makes me feel.
Depression is a serious condition, it is not just a person feeling a bit down, for me it robs me of every joy in life and simply functioning is an immense effort.
For those that haven’t suffered, I hope it gives you a glimpse into the mind of those who suffer. For those that suffer, I hope it tells you that you are not alone and someone understands how you feel.
I know I say it often, but for those who are suffering, please reach out for help. I know it’s difficult.
This poem/vignette was written in mid 2006 after I had a minor operation. I was very anxious beforehand and writing this was a way for me to put my fears into perspective.
Adam visits the Cockaigne Christmas market with his mum and stepdad. It appears that Santa’s Grotto has competition as The Cockaigne Claus has come to town. Adam lines up to see what it is all about and pays him a visit. It is a visit he will remember!
The Dartos and Noble family get closer as they go for a day out at the local leisure centre. Everyone, except Doug, goes naked and they quickly pair off. Leo finds the courage to take Freddie’s cock into his mouth, in front of everyone in the locker room.
Leo wants to go further with Freddie but he is nervous and inexperienced. He goes to his brother, Archie, for help who teaches him some basics.
Leo is almost healed and has finally managed to wank himself to orgasm. He takes Freddie out into the woods where they go for a swim at Seminal Falls. As they basque in the sun, Freddie makes sure Leo is truely recovered.
Cockaigne Chronicles continues with Leo and Andy feeling the aftermath of the punishment. Leo feels horrible about what happened and Andy opens up about why he is so protective over his brother, Freddie.
It is time for Andy to pay the price for his behaviour after inflicting terrible damage on poor Leo’s testicles. It is down to Officer Nathan to give him the bad news that the whole town will witness his humiliation.
Archie spends a lovely day with Grace, and Leo and Freddie have fun day in Cockaigne. But it doesn’t end well when Freddie’s brother, Andy, sees something he doesn’t like.