Category: Screeve

Happy Easter for those that celebrate it, if that is the right word. For those who celebrate it culturally, I hope the Easter Bunny brought you plenty of eggs to pop in your mouth and taste their sweetness. You can even tease out their contents and taste their runny contents.

I’m just grateful for the two short weeks and the 4-day weekend. It’s been good to relax and do very little.

Austrian professional football club LASK Linz has confirmed that 18-year-old Jakob Wanker has signed a long-term deal with the club.
In the UK, when fans shout Wanker from the stands, you can be sure that they aren’t happy with what someone has done on the pitch. But when fans of LASK Linz shout “Wanker” from the stands, they are cheering on their favourite player.

We shouldn’t make fun of foreigners and their sometimes weird or unpronounceable names, and I hope this post is taken with the good humour it’s intended. I’m sure some English names are hilarious to them and to us. I use some of those names in my Cockaigne Chronicles series. Have you ever known a Mr Growcock or a Mr Cockburn (pronounced Coburn)? Or was Wayne Kerr your best friend at school?

So, while we smile at his name, we should also congratulate him and wish him a full and successful career as a footballer.

It’s not what you think! This is going to sound quite strange, but last week I worked from home, never went out, stayed in the house all week (what a dull life I lead), and I got a bad cold! I’ve felt like crap the last four days (and still do). I’ve done very little, no updates and no writing. So, sorry for the lack of updates and for not responding to comments and emails. I hope I start to get better this week, and I can put the Paracetamol and cough syrup back into the cupboard. Updates will come soon, and I promise you some exciting new episodes for Louis.

Goodbye 2025 and hello 2026! I’m not one for resolutions, but there are a few things I want to do this year: get healthier and cut back on the booze. Both will help me with my continuing battle with depression. But I also want to write more. I have an idea for a story which I tried to start last month, but something didn’t click. Perhaps it was my frame of mind at the time, so I want to try again this year.

I hope to bring you more stories from Cockaigne, both series and short stories, and I want to write more short stories away from Cockaigne.

Whatever you want to achieve this year, I wish you every success.

It has been a productive year for Screeve and me. I added 61 separate chapters or short stories. I have just posted the final chapter of Odd Job Ollie, thirty-three chapters that were fun to write about a well-hung young man who discovers he enjoys anal sex. Then there were the eleven chapters of The Chronicles of the Dickinson Family, another fun story of five brothers and their stepfather. And before that were ten chapters of The Chronicles of the Ashworth Family. On top of three long, multipart stories, I also published seven short stories! I think it must be the most productive year for me. And I have been overwhelmed with all your comments and support.

But Screeve is not all about me. We welcomed PlacidGuy to the website with three brilliant, excellently written short stories. If you’ve not read them, I urge you to read them. David Price also submitted his short story called Cadet Camp, about a boy’s sexual awakening; another cracking read. We also had a returning author, Tom, with his parody of the Famous Five stories called The Infamous Five on Kipper Island. It is a bucket-load of disgusting fun.

I can’t promise that 2026 will be as prodigious, but it will get off to a good start with my new series set in Cockaigne, which follows Ollie’s brother, Louis. I should warn you that the series does contain scenes of heterosexual sex, but it is still a queer story. Louis is the star of the series, but Ollie and his friends also make appearances. I hope you enjoy the continuing story of the family. This is another story I loved writing. I love Ollie and Louis; they are great characters.

Some of you may have realised that one of my recent short stories was inspired by the exploits of a UK Olympic hopeful canoeist, Kurts Adams Rozentals. But now it seems his sport’s governing body has banned him for two years over a ‘sex act on a plane’.

A disciplinary panel told Kurts after conducting an independent investigation that he had brought the sport into “serious disrepute,” which also amounted to gross misconduct after he posted an explicit video of himself performing a “sexual act” on an aeroplane, which he shared on his Instagram account.

The governing body stated that the canoeist had “admitted posting an explicit video on their public Instagram profile, which was subsequently removed given its explicit nature.” They told Kurtz that his social media post had breached their disciplinary policy, which related to “indecent, offensive or immoral behaviour” and “offensive use of social media.”

I take issue with what they said as their policies effectively gag athletes and prevent them from engaging in lawful activities which the rest of us are free to do, if we wish. The statement also imposes a moral code on athletes which may not align with their morals. What is ethical to one may not be moral to another, but that is not a reason to ban someone because of their morality. After all, for decades, gay people were persecuted because of their different moral code. I should declare that I haven’t seen the video so cannot attest for how explicit it really was, but Kurts explained it did confirm to the PG-13 rules of the site.

I realise that there are always leaks, but Kurts’s explicit content is behind the OnlyFans paywall, and the very explicit content is even charged within that site. (I just had to subscribe for a month to see what all the fuss was about, and what he posts is tame compared to some creators.) What is allowed to be posted on Instagram is tame, and even his Instagram posts are tame compared to some of the bulges I’ve seen on my stream.

Kurts called the suspension “very extreme”, and posting the video didn’t warrant a ban.

Speaking to BBC Sport, he said: “This ban would have never happened if athletes were funded properly. And while I understand the video could be described as crazy, it was not illegal and certainly shouldn’t be the reason for banning an athlete.”

The funding Kurts received from Paddle UK amounted to £16,000 per year, yet he claimed to earn over £100,000 from OnlyFans between January and May.

When interviewed by BBC Sport and asked if he regretted the video, he said: “Looking back now, I probably wouldn’t post something like that.

“But I remember the state of mind I was in when I did film it and post it. It was the first time in my life I saw real progress in my financial situation. It was the first time I was able to fund the training myself.

“It was the first time I was able to get my mum something nice after her sacrificing everything in order to allow me to chase my dream. And it came from crazy videos like the one that got me banned.

“I saw a direct correlation of me making those type of videos and my life situation improving. So, I was in this state of mind where I knew that all I have to do to continue this, is keep making videos like this. It’s a crazy world we live in. I don’t regret it.”

Paddle UK released a statement saying it “committed to ensuring a safe and open environment for all, and action under the athlete disciplinary policy is taken where necessary and proportionate.”