It Can Take You By Surprise

Broken Glass

I went through a year of lockdown and didn’t fall into a deep bout of depression. Now we are coming out of lockdown, it hits. I can’t blame it on anxiety, which I know some people are experiencing after such a long time being locked down. But I suppose that is the nature of this illness; there can be no rhyme or reason for when it strikes.

I was very conscious of my mental health during lockdown. I suppose because I knew there was a possibility of going into a depression during that difficult time, I made conscious decisions to try and stop it from happening. Now we are coming out, I have been more lax with my health, and I allowed this bout to overwhelm me.

So the lesson I have learnt this time is, don’t get cocky and complacent when you feel good; you need to keep working to keep depression at bay.

Stay Safe and Look After Each Other

I have been a little quiet of late and not given you updates or new stories for several weeks.

About a month ago my depression returned. I thought it was just writer’s block but it was something else. My lust for life dissipated and my enthusiasm for writing stories waned, I was consumed with self-doubt.

The afternoons are getting dark and the Covid-19 precautions are exacerbating my problem with greater feelings of isolation. This pandemic is extremely serious and we have to take it seriously. The UK now has a vaccine but even though I have pre-existing conditions which make me vulnerable, I have learnt that I am only in the 6th category on the priority list. So I may not be vaccinated until May/June next year. I fear that not much is going to change in the first half of next year.

But we have to get there first and it will be a tough Christmas for many.

I’m clambering out of my depression and I have started writing again this week.  So I hope to have some updates soon.

In the meantime, please look after yourselves and look after those around you. If someone has gone quiet and is not responding, then send some friendly words without any expectations. Just say “Hi” and say you’ll be there if they need you.

Covid-19 has meant an increase in mental health issues, so let’s all support each other.

I may not always show it, but I really do appreciate all of you.

Depression And Me

The Beeb has been showing some interesting programmes about mental health this past week. I have finally been feeling ok to watch some of them. I had been reluctant to watch any in case they made me feel worse. They are a very interesting watch and I would recommend watching, if you have access to the BBC iPlayer.

We don’t talk about mental health. I certainly didn’t, until recently. And even now I am very careful who I reveal my mental issues to. There is still a big stigma out there and people are still very judgemental.

So in case you are in any doubt. I suffer from depression.

I have lost many a friend (and boyfriend) to it as when it hits I turn in on myself and shut out the world. I tend to be more honest with people now, but as I said prevously, I’m still very careful who I tell.

Two weeks ago I fell into one of my bouts of depression but am coming out of it now. I re-posted the picture below about a week ago and thought I would share it with you.

Just to be clear I wasn’t suicidal.

The picture just reminded me how I sometimes feel when faced with people suffering with their own mental health issues.

Even with the experience of my own depression I struggle with how to help a person who is suffering from mental health issues. I really should do something about that.