I’m between stories at the moment. Giving my mind a rest, well, my fingers more like, my mind keeps whirring with new story ideas. In the brief period between stories, I have spent the time updating my explorecockaigne.uk website. This is the place where all the Cockaigne stories will appear and where you can read a little more about the town.
I’ve updated the pictures and replaced them with AI-generated images (I don’t want any copyright issues). I have also added to the pages showing new places that have appeared in stories, such as the burger joint and Fanny’s Tea Room. I hope you can all find time to visit Fanny; her afternoon teas are legendary in Cockaigne.
I’ve also improved the map of Cockaigne. I hope you all like it. I have created it all myself using free software, and it is more of what I had in mind all those years ago. The template image was also an AI-generated picture that I created.
There are a few more items I want to update, such as the portraits of the students and residents. But that will come later.
With the help of Louis, Ollie manages to have his first shower since the accident. It is also time for Ollie to get his cast removed, and he can move around normally, but he still needs to be careful not to put too much stress on his leg. But it is something else Louis does that makes him cry with gratitude.
Louis visits Ollie in the hospital to tell him about what he’s been doing for Old Lady Lovecock and Arthur, but leaves out some details. But he tells Ollie that their Dad is having a hard time at Cockaigne Construction. But their Dad overheard a conversation between some of his colleagues, and he had to do something about it.
Kurts Adams Rozentals, taken from his Instagram account @kurtsadams
Some of you may have realised that one of my recent short stories was inspired by the exploits of a UK Olympic hopeful canoeist, Kurts Adams Rozentals. But now it seems his sport’s governing body has banned him for two years over a ‘sex act on a plane’.
A disciplinary panel told Kurts after conducting an independent investigation that he had brought the sport into “serious disrepute,” which also amounted to gross misconduct after he posted an explicit video of himself performing a “sexual act” on an aeroplane, which he shared on his Instagram account.
The governing body stated that the canoeist had “admitted posting an explicit video on their public Instagram profile, which was subsequently removed given its explicit nature.” They told Kurtz that his social media post had breached their disciplinary policy, which related to “indecent, offensive or immoral behaviour” and “offensive use of social media.”
I take issue with what they said as their policies effectively gag athletes and prevent them from engaging in lawful activities which the rest of us are free to do, if we wish. The statement also imposes a moral code on athletes which may not align with their morals. What is ethical to one may not be moral to another, but that is not a reason to ban someone because of their morality. After all, for decades, gay people were persecuted because of their different moral code. I should declare that I haven’t seen the video so cannot attest for how explicit it really was, but Kurts explained it did confirm to the PG-13 rules of the site.
I realise that there are always leaks, but Kurts’s explicit content is behind the OnlyFans paywall, and the very explicit content is even charged within that site. (I just had to subscribe for a month to see what all the fuss was about, and what he posts is tame compared to some creators.) What is allowed to be posted on Instagram is tame, and even his Instagram posts are tame compared to some of the bulges I’ve seen on my stream.
Kurts called the suspension “very extreme”, and posting the video didn’t warrant a ban.
Speaking to BBC Sport, he said: “This ban would have never happened if athletes were funded properly. And while I understand the video could be described as crazy, it was not illegal and certainly shouldn’t be the reason for banning an athlete.”
The funding Kurts received from Paddle UK amounted to £16,000 per year, yet he claimed to earn over £100,000 from OnlyFans between January and May.
When interviewed by BBC Sport and asked if he regretted the video, he said: “Looking back now, I probably wouldn’t post something like that.
“But I remember the state of mind I was in when I did film it and post it. It was the first time in my life I saw real progress in my financial situation. It was the first time I was able to fund the training myself.
“It was the first time I was able to get my mum something nice after her sacrificing everything in order to allow me to chase my dream. And it came from crazy videos like the one that got me banned.
“I saw a direct correlation of me making those type of videos and my life situation improving. So, I was in this state of mind where I knew that all I have to do to continue this, is keep making videos like this. It’s a crazy world we live in. I don’t regret it.”
Paddle UK released a statement saying it “committed to ensuring a safe and open environment for all, and action under the athlete disciplinary policy is taken where necessary and proportionate.”
Kurts Adams Rozentals, taken from his Instagram account @kurtsadams
Blake is home alone on Halloween; his little step-brother, Toby, has dressed up as a skeleton and gone out trick-or-treating. Blake keeps being disturbed by kids knocking on the door, demanding sweets, but one time, when he answers, it isn’t kids; a man stands in the doorway, dressed as a skeleton. The stranger holds some strange power over Blake and takes him to his bedroom.
Louis and his Dad are doing Ollie’s work while he’s in the hospital. This special chapter follows Louis and is narrated by him. (Well, Ollie’s in hospital and bored.) Louis is working for Old Lady Lovecock, showing some skin to titillate her. But he gets a call from Arthur, and he is urgently needed at the Cremaster Freedom Resort.
Please welcome PlacidGuy, a new author who joins us with his short story about Theo, who is working at night at the museum, when he sees something in the corner of his eye.
I know you’ll enjoy it as much as I did, and please take a moment to leave a comment or reach out to the author. You can email him at placidguy@proton.me
With Ollie in the hospital, the family rallies around him to keep his fledgling business afloat. Many of his clients will wait for him to recover, and his brother, Louis, will lend a hand when needed. His Dad is forced back to work, but has agreed to help on the weekends. Ollie is overwhelmed by their support.
Something happens when Ollie leaves the Cremaster Freedom Resort. When he is driving home, he sees another van approaching on the other side of the road, but it soon moves to the middle of the road, blocking the way. It doesn’t move, and Ollie swerves to avoid a collision, ending up crashing into the ditch at the side of the road.
When he got home, Ollie’s Dad told him how mad his boss was when he found out that Cockaigne Construction had lost the contract for ‘Vos de Vos’, but his Dad was surprisingly cheerful. Upstairs, Ollie checks out his arsehole in front of Louis and tells him what happened at the sauna.
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