It has been over a year since I posted one of my stories to Nifty. So, I thought it was about time I submitted one of my short stories to try to gather more readers and support the site. Nifty may not be perfect, but it remains a valuable resource for the LGBTIQ+ community.
I know not everyone enjoys my stories, and I value constructive criticism, as I always want to improve my writing and make my stories more entertaining. I like to stretch myself (no, not in that way), I enjoy experimenting with new scenarios and fetishes. Sometimes these have not worked as they are outside my experience.
I also love language. I’m proud to be British, and I speak English very well (unfortunately, I speak very little Welsh). I like to think I write English pretty well, too. I also write unapologetically British English and do not translate to other variants of English. But I enjoy discovering the differences in the variants, especially slang, and I sometimes use the term ‘knob’. This is commonplace where I live and can either refer to the entire penis or the helmet. “Let me suck yer knob!”
I try not to use complex or difficult-to-understand language, so when I received the email below, I began to wonder. Has common usage changed, and does the term ‘forfeit’ no longer mean ‘a fine or penalty’? Or is my use of the term peculiar to the British, or old-fashioned? I’ve searched the Cambridge dictionary website, and it does list this meaning as ‘mainly UK’. I would appreciate your thoughts. Also, let me know if there are any other very British English terms I use that non-Brits find difficult to understand or jarring.
I may include a brief explanation of my usage of the term ‘forfeit’ at the beginning of the story. Perhaps I should add a disclaimer to all my stories that they are written in British English. Either way, rudeness is not an appropriate response.
These are truly difficult times, are not they David. I have always valued your work and the website it’s hosted on, especially as it’s entirely free—no subscriptions, paywalls, or pesky pop-up adverts. The fact that it’s free is especially meaningful at a time when budgets are tight.
I used to be active on social media and even managed a group, but I was constantly targeted by keyboard warriors who criticised my spelling, grammar, or simply failed to grasp what I meant. It was quite disheartening, so I decided to close my account. I never mentioned that I have dyslexia, but I suspect that would only have given them another reason to have a go at me.
I hope this issue is resolved soon, and I’ll keep supporting you and your writing no matter how long it takes.
I’ve use spell checker & Co-Pilot to write this … but I’m sure someone will nitpick at it …sad times eh ?
Whoever your critic was he clearly didn’t even attempt to explore the full range of meanings of the word which isn’t a darkly concealed secret. But unfortunately ignorance is so often allied to arrogance that such things are bound to happen.
It seems your critic is a frustrate writer. (S)he has writer’s block & is lashing out at a very successful author with a huge……following.
Thanks John. Perhaps he should read more of my stories to release some frustration.
I’m italian, and we use “dare forfait” (letterally “to give forfait”) in the sense of “to give up” and “to surrender”, but if we use it as a noun the meaning is similar to british english
Grazie mille!
Hug summed up my thoughts exactly, David. You are a jewel on the internet and I for one try to visit you daily, and if I have time in the day or evening, I enjoy re-reading and re-visiting some of your fantastic archive of past stories, contributions of the generous authors, Cockaigne riffs and links.
Take heart, mon brave. Be upstanding, cocker. Excelsior, you luscious Jizz-burst!
English – particularly British English – is a very flexible monstrous hybrid of Celtic, Anglo-Saxon, Flemish, Danish, Viking, Roman, Latin, Greek, Norman, Hindi, Empirical Imports and in recent times even, dare I say it, the old mongrel runaway American. Context is everything. Writers weave dreams. Readers ride the dreams. Some readers will sink like stones to the sludge in the cesspit of Pandemonium because they are morons. As John says, your keyboard warrior – no, warrior is too noble a word – your keyboard vomiter is probably a frustrated writer. Whereas you, dear sir, captain, my captain, Are The Dragon’s Bollocks!
love Paul x
Thanks Paul. The Dragon’s Bollocks – I love it.
I might be in a minority, but I enjoy reading your stories. A big part of the enjoyment is the British-English. I grew up using the word ‘wank’ and still prefer it to the American dominated terms like ‘jerk off,’ ‘jack off,’ and so on, so the British, and for me, more familiar terms are very welcome.
I would like to add that your Brit-centric style makes you one of the best authors of erotic male on male fiction since Seb Wallace stopped writing (anyone know what has happened to him?). By the way, although your writing is predominantly male on male, the recent depictions of Odd Job Ollie getting wanked off by grateful old ladies and other scenes including women is hot stuff!
As for your copping it over words like ‘forfiet,’ that a story falls flat for a reader because of one word that they do not understand, demonstrates a shortcoming on their part not yours.
I have been a writer and editor and edited erotic fiction in the old days of plentiful print media, and would never have thought to pull up a writer for a word like that.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks a lot, I appreciate your comments. I would love to know if Seb Wallace is writing again, I always enjoyed his stories. Keep wanking!
I was in contact with Seb Wallace at one time, but he must have changed his email or no longer checks messages.
We used to email occasionally, too. Mostly under his new pen name, Robert Furlong. I always wondered if he had started writing again under a brand new name.
Yes, I was in contact when he was Robert Furlong too, I always think of him as Seb Wallace. I have looked for new work under a new name, but nothing I have read since he stopped writing matches his former style.
I thought I would have a look at your story on Nifty after reading about the unusual feedback you got over it. I was really cute, you capture that age really well. It wasn’t overly sexual. Nothing happened in the shower apart from the shower, but Johnny getting a look at Sam’s budding dick and pubes had a natural charge. That’s how it is with boys, and it was a good and believable story in that context.
You gave the story your usual good build-up and added other characters that could become part of another episode. Now that Sam and Johnny are showering in public, there could be more instalments. I was half expecting a first buddy wank.
Thanks very much. I liked your comments.
Hi David, l too enjoy language and have long seen your skills as being of a high standard. I stand with the positive feedback to date, especially Hug and Paul. The criticism in my view is totally unwarranted. I look forward to more of your work, not least Ollie’s story which I am thoroughly enjoying.
Thanks Andy. It’s great to know that people enjoy my work.