Bog Off
by Tom


Chapter 27: Full insertion

Omnium-gatherum was a rather grand phrase to describe the aggregation of pupils arriving in the dining hall for the midday break of which a very small minority had mysteriously managed to develop a limp of some description.

“D’yer think Dave’ll be alright then?” Luke adjusted his glasses and looked towards the serving hatch. “Oh good it’s chips and beans again innit?”

“Well it’s wot us wants innit?” said Bogbrush. “And looks like they’s got they gert sawdust sausages again.”

“Good, I’s like they and I’s gert hungry.” pronounced Kelvin contemplating a huge plate of chips and an even bigger plate of beans despite having watched Dave throw up only minutes earlier. “Wish they’d do us some fried eggs as well.”

“Reckon Dave be alright,” said Bogbrush, “he got that Mrs Wotnot as a nurse ain’t he, she’ll sort him out, might even send him home I ‘spose.”

“Well they’s sent Lee and Troy home after Dave had honked sick all over ’em, they was in a right bleeding mess.” said Luke. “Bet they ain’t coming back today.”

“Nah, can’t blame ’em can yer? I’s means it’s a bit of thing being sicked over innit?” said Bogbrush. “Thinks I’s rather stay in school than be all fucking sticky sicky like wot they was, d’yer see that Lee had tomatoes down his neck!”

“Now stop going on about sick, we’s eating in a minute, don’t put I off me beans!”

“So why’s yer’s limping then Kelv?” Luke changed the subject feeling sure the cause of the limp was sexually based. “D’yer push something too big up yer bumhole?”

“Nah, I’s always doing that! Nah, this were a bit different like.”

“Well, wot d’yer fucking do then?” Bogbrush grinned, equally intrigued. “If yer ain’t gonna fucking tell us, we ain’t never wanking with yer again!”

“Oh fuck! Yer can’t do that,” Kelvin looked around and lowered his voice, “alright, I’s fucking tell yer when we’s sat down with our luvly beans and that.”

“Is it yer bumhole or yer willy that hurts then?” Luke was becoming erect again, he had to adjust matters for his cock was stuck to his spunk soaked briefs.

“Just fucking wait a minute.” Kelvin was preoccupied with the thought of food. “I’s said I’s bloody tell yer when we’s sat down.”

“Luke, yer wanking already!” observed Bogbrush who rarely missed any movement in anybody’s trouser department. “And, yer’s only just cum, yer really is a dirty sod! They says the quiet ones with bleeding glasses is the worst ones don’t they Kelv?”


“Too bleeding true! Yer just waits till I’s sits by yer in a lesson, then yer’ll know wot proper wanking’s about!” Kelvin grinned. “So how many wank’s is that today then?”

Embarrassed, Luke again fiddled with his glasses.

“Well? Tell us, how many wanks yer had?” asked Bogbrush, knowing he too was nearly erect again and the ritual swopping of the underpants was yet to be enacted.

“Uumm… three.”

“Ain’t no wonder yer’s got they bleeding glasses then is it!” Kelvin laughed. “Ooh, we’s next for food so shut up a minute ‘cause I’s gotta concentrate like.”

Rationing the school diners was ad hoc and left to the serving ladies to apply to the queues of pupils since it was recognised that however unhealthy the diet may have been for several pupils it was their meal of the day. Better to feed them up on something than to have nothing, so for the likes of Kelvin if he were to put on his cherubic act he could usually manage to wheedle an extra large portion.

Sitting opposite Bogbrush and Luke, half hidden behind a positive mountain of chips and beans Kelvin looked at the plate. “Cor, fuck, wonders if I’s can eat all of this?”

“Yer bum’ll explode with all they bleeding beans!” Bogbrush grinned. “Greedy sod!”

“Bog off, I’s loves beans.”

“Sod them beans, so tell us why’s yer limping?” Luke leant forward expectantly.

“Ah, well see..”

Stuffing his mouth full of chips Kelvin launched into a long and convoluted retelling of the previous nights escapades. Much to Luke’s absolute delight and his erection hidden below the table, Kelvin held nothing back and included all the embarrassing detail of Jason’s unfortunate experience along with intimate descriptions of his cock, bottom and spunky bedding.

“Ooh fuck!”

There was no hiding Luke’s arousal nor enthusiasm for hearing more. In fact he was so excited there was the very real possibility he might ejaculate for a fourth time with minimal assistance from his pocket. Very naively he hoped nobody had noticed his arm moving under the table.

“Look, he’s wanking again!” Bogbrush nodded towards him. “Who’d have bleeding thought he’d have turned out like this, he wanks all the time now and only a month ago he wouldn’t even tell us if he a willy!”

“Fuck off!” still possessed of a propensity to become easily embarrassed where masturbation raised it’s ugly head, Luke flushed a nice shade of red.

“Yeah! He’s fucking moving about a bit on his chair ain’t he?” Kelvin laughed. “Yer right, he’s wanking! Wot’s reckon Bog’s, think his spunky beds worse than mine!”

“Yeah, I’s bets they sheets crunch when he get’s in it!”

“Fuck off.. I ain’t! I don’t!”

“Yer is wanking and I’s gonna check!” said Bogbrush. “Bet it don’t take much before yer cums in yer pants!”

“The way he’s moving, looks like he ‘ave!” added Kelvin starting to laugh.

“I fucking ain’t!” there was no denying it and it was to be downhill now all the way.

“Yet!” added Bogbrush.

Beneath the table a hand firmly gasped the bulging front of Luke’s trousers. With the benefit of his vast experience when it came to ejaculating in underwear be it his own or helping somebody else, Bogbrush was about to show Luke what it was all about. It didn’t take long either, actually well less than a minute during which time Luke hopped about on the chair like a puppet on a string, the string being his cock and Bogbrush being the puppet master.

“Now we’s all got messy pants so why don’t us go in the bog and swop like us has done before?” Bogbrush grinned. “We’s can swop back tomorrow?”

“Nah, I ain’t, but yer two can, ‘cause if I goes in there I’s gonna end up wanking again and me willy’s too bleeding sore, I’s gotta give it a rest for a bit.” said Kelvin.

“Yer sure?” asked Bogbrush. “Fuck, it must be bad!”

“Yeah, I’ll save meself for later!”

“Well come on then yer little wanker!” Bogbrush turned to Luke, who now the moment had arrived appeared a little apprehensive and fiddled with his glasses.

“Yer ain’t got no skidmarks has yer?”

Kelvin burst out laughing. “For fuck’s sake Luke, that’s the last of yer worries if yer swopping yer pants with Bog’s!”


Across the dining room a rather embarrassed Jason had finally told his friends a somewhat sanitized version of why he was limping. Leaving out the humiliation of being stranded on his spunky pillow mountain overnight and having to be rescued by Kelvin the following morning he made it sound as though wrecking his bottom was worth the fun of it all.

“So it were just poking yer bum that’s hurt it then?” said Brett. “I’s thought that yer’d done something real bad to it like getting something stuck up it all night!”

“Uumm..” Jason looked away, hoping to change the subject his wish was granted, “oh, look there’s Farty and he’s limping as well!”

“Why’s yer limping then?” asked Billie as he approached, tactfully adding, “It’s they beans innit, bet yer’s burnt yer bumhole with all that farting!”

“Fucking sod off!” Farty sat very carefully down, amazingly it wasn’t his bumhole. “Nah, it fucking ain’t, it’s cause that Connor hurt me knackers when he wanked I off just now, then I’s fucking proper squashed ’em when I’s slips and falls on the floor!”

“Have yer been wanking with Connor long then?” asked Brett.

“Yer slipped?” said Jason with a note of disbelief.

“Wot he means is he gert bleeding farted and blew himself over!” Billie laughed.

“Fuck off!”

“So tell us wot’s it all about with yer and Connor wanking then?” said Jason.

“With Connor? Oh, it only started when I’s had to sit by him the other week. He don’t give us no choice, he just starts wanking I off!” he looked at the floor. “Well, I’s didn’t have nobody else to wank with has I, so’s I’s lets him do it to I!”

“Yer a silly sod, us didn’t know yer wanted to wank, yer should have fucking asked, us’ll wank with yer, yer silly daft fucker!” said Jason. “We’s thought yer weren’t a wanker, like yer just did it home like and didn’t wanna join in.”

“Yeah, well, uumm..”

Just as Luke had recently blossomed, so had Farty. This was his new liberated mode and having now started masturbating with others wasn’t so shy about admitting it. However, what he was still shy of, if not distinctly silent about was that sex in some form between him and his sister Cilla was becoming a frequent event. So, despite his unlikely plump looks as a sex-machine, if experience counted he was by no means innocent and way ahead of many older boys who were desperate for any hands-on contact with the female sex.

“So d’yer fix up to meet him for a wank then or wot?” asked Brett. “So, how d’yer get together like.”

“Nah, nothing like that, if he fancies a wank he’s comes and finds us, like he did in woodwork.”

“Oh, I’s sees.” asked Billie. “So wot’s it like holding his gert willy then?”

“Hot and sticky!” Farty grinned. “When he cums he don’t half make a gert mess, got it all over me sleeve last time.”

“Hhmm..” Jason looked around, “wot’s think then, reckon us oughta sorta get him to have a wank then?”

“Well I’s surprised yer ain’t done that already.” said Farty. “He’s alright, he don’t talk much, so why ain’t yer done it already with him?”

“Well, we’s always thought he were a bit thick like!” said Jason without a glimmer of hope in seeing the irony of his comment. “Don’t say nothing, us’ll think about it.”

Within seconds of the lesson bell ringing for the final time that day, pupils were noisily streaming out of the school gates all only too keen to leave education behind them. In amongst the throng Jason limped along deep in a conversation with Billie centred on what else Connor could offer other than an incredibly large cock and a commensurate bucket of semen. Following not too far behind were Bogbrush and Kelvin, also deep in conversation although they were shortly to separate for Kelvin was to pay a visit to Byron in the hope of getting the use of the workman’s shed for his meeting with Cilla. Not that Bogbrush would be left on his own for very long, for at a discrete distance behind was Brett, who would soon join Bogbrush to take up the offer of some more clothes in exchange for, as yet an undisclosed payment of an intimate physical kind. Somewhere bringing up the rear was Luke, now on his own since the vomiting Dave had been despatched home earlier, he struggled to walk quickly for his erection had not subsided since changing into Bogbrush’s sticky, unsavoury underpants during the midday break.

Like the majority of boys on the council estate, Brett lived inside a very small bubble. Lacking any real cerebral development and adolescence having taken over, his main interests were distilled down to watching television, possibly football, constant solo sex and hopefully sexual experimentation with other boys.

“Is Rover gonna be in then?” Brett grinned. “Will he fuck yer leg again?”

“Oh, I’s forgotten yer knows about that.” Bogbrush blushed and looked at the front door as he fumbled for the key. “Yeah, yeah I ‘spose he is.”

“Will he do it then?” Brett giggled. “He gotta gert willy hadn’t he?”

“Might try I ‘spose,” Bogbrush pushed the door open, knowing full well Rover certainly wouldn’t disappoint, “well get in quick before he gets out.”

Once inside the hallway there was an immediate flurry of furry activity as Rover bounded up, sniffed at Brett’s trousers then wrapped himself around Bogbrush’s legs and start to hump. Embarrassed although not because of what Rover was doing to him, but because he was acutely aware that very often arriving on home and feeling especially frisky, he and the dog would ejaculate together.

“Fuck!” Bogbrush was flustered, this was one secret he had to keep secret.

“Look his gert willy’s out!” Brett was bending down for a closer look. “Cor, look the ends all wet and shiny like!”

“Fucking stop it Rover! Fucking hell! You little fucker stop it!”

Bogbrush tried to sound in command, but where Rover was concerned he plainly wasn’t for Rover, despite much leg shaking was still clinging on and obviously determined in doggy terms to give the trouser leg a good rogering.

“Rover, I’s says fucking stop it,” continued Bogbrush, “don’t fucking cum on me leg.”

“Cor.. bleeding hell… he just fucking have!” exclaimed a very excited Brett. “Wotta gert load of cum he makes!”

“Oh fuck!” resigned, with doggy semen dripping down his leg Bogbrush tried to sound nonplussed. “Why’s he only do that when yer comes round, he don’t do that usually like.”

“Can us go to yer bedroom and sort out me clothes,” Brett’s hands were deep in his pockets, Rover had inspired him, “then yer can undress us and, and then can we has a wank like wot us did last time?”

From a standing start to a full erection took Bogbrush approximately three seconds. “If yer wants, I’s did think of something else yer might wanna do, but yer don’t have too if yer don’t wants.”

“Wot? Wot’s that then?” asked Brett following the rapidly disappearing Bogbrush though the hallway and up the stairs.

“But us’ll have to be quick before our mum comes home.”

“Right.” Brett bounded up the stairs after him trying to avoid standing in the blobs of Rover’s spunk which were dripping from the trouser leg to the threadbare carpet.

“Look, I’s found yer these,” Bogbrush was already delving inside the battered wardrobe with the cracked mirror on the door, “they’s might fit yer alright.”

“Ooh..” Brett snatched the faded jeans and looked at them, the area around the fly was suspiciously faded, “cor, they’s alight ain’t they, I’s can always fold the legs up a bit! So yer thinks they’s clean?”

“Probably, wot’s they smell like?”

“Smells alright,” Brett giggled, “yer’s been wanking in ’em, they’s a bit starched by the zip!”

“Oh shit!” even Bogbrush was embarrassed at that, maybe it was just being with Brett. “I’s, I’s found these as well.”

“Cor, bleeding hell blue ‘uns!” said Brett excitedly, dropping the jeans on the bed he snatched the pale blue fly fronted briefs from Bogbrush.

“Might be a bit big and the elastic a bit floppy, still that’ll allow yer to grow and have a gert hard-on!” Bogbrush was checking the inside his pocketless pocket. “Shall us to put ’em on yer?”

“Better big than too tight, like wot I’s got on now,” said Brett carefully examining the inside as he unzipped his trousers, “d’yer wanna put ’em on us then?”

“Good we’s home.” Jason limped to a halt outside the rusty garden gate.

“Were’s Kelv then?” asked Billie. “Ain’t he coming back today then?”

“I dunno,” Jason was feeling through the collection of detritus in his blazer pocket for the key, “he’s buggered off some place, told I to tell our mum he’d be late.”

“Gone wanking I ‘spect.”

“Probably, but at least he’s outta the way ain’t he.” replied Jason, opening the door and then shouting. “I’s back mum… Billie’s come back with I.”

The inevitable cloud of smoke preceded Doreen as she emerged from the kitchen cigarette in mouth, she looked at the boys. “Where’s that Kelv got too then?”

“Dunno, just said he’d be a bit late.”

“Oh..” she rolled her eyes. “is yer’s alright Billie, haven’t seen yer for a few days.”

“Yeah, I’s fine.” he was more than fine, in fact he was very erect and thinking of what he was going to do with the wooden toy, maybe Jason should instruct him?

“Well come on then, up in me room,” Jason abruptly terminated the conversation and dragged at his sleeve, “and I’s show yer that thing I, I were on about.”.

The one thing Doreen didn’t want to know about was what was being shown to Billie, since an educated guess told her it probably involved undoing their trousers and squirting even more semen over the heavily stained carpet. Wisely she remained in the safety of the kitchen where her minimal cooking skills were required and she could ruminate on the colossal quantities of spunk that had been deposited all over the house by Jason’s three elder brothers. “Dirty buggers!”

From the de-lux range of frozen meals marketed by Bengali Queen, the budget food suppliers of Catford as stocked by Packers, she had carefully selected an economy size, frozen cottage pie on her way home from work at Guptha’s International. It needed to go in the oven immediately if it were to stand any chance of being properly cooked through and only then she could relax with yet another cigarette and a mug of tea whilst upstairs boys would be boys.

“I’s ain’t got no lock on me door, so’s put yer bag behind it,” said Jason going over to the chest of drawers, “I’s gonna get the wood thing.”

“Do it hurt, pushing it up like?” although difficult to tell due to the oversize nature of his hand-me down trousers, Billie had already started to masturbate in expectation of things to come.

“Bit, so yer’ll need some sorta lube, yer ’tis.” Jason proudly held out the infamous wooden willy which had caused him so much pain only the previous evening.

“Cor, it’s all smooth and that, ain’t too big is it?” said Billie rubbing his fingers over the surface, “d’yer think it’s safe to try it?”

“Wot now? Up yer bum? Ooh fuck! Well I ‘spose yer could, ’cause Mum don’t never come up only if we’s late in the mornings!” Jason grinned excitedly at the thought. “D’yer want I’s to push it up?”

“Hhmm… if yer wants.”

Billie was already unfastening his trousers to expose what could only be some very worn, baggy, faded blue and historically semen stained Guptha’s International briefs. Once the property of his compulsive onanist elder brother, the failing elastic ensured they quickly descended to his knees. Meanwhile, Jason with one hand fiddling with his own zip was looking through the drawer for his dwindling supply of lubrication in the form of a small, almost empty pot of Vaseline.

“Yer can finger yerself with this, then when’s yer ready I’s push it up.” blatantly playing with himself though his open fly Jason watched as Billie’s longer, but thinner cock twitch as two nail bitten, grubby fingers found their slippery way between his hot buttocks. “It ain’t shitty is it, ‘cause I’s don’t want no shit on me wooden willy.”

“Bleeding hell! I’s don’t know do us ‘cause I’s can’t look up me own bum! Can yer?” Billie laughed. “Anyway’s I’s don’t ‘spose yer’s were much betterer were it!”

“Oh!” Jason blushed for on thinking back it probably wasn’t! “Bog off!”

“Well who’s is!”

“Uumm..” Jason was already thinking ahead, “listen, if I’s sits on me bed… then I’s can suck yer off and with me hand push the willy thing up between yer legs.”

“And, if yer wanks yerself off it’ll give I’s something to watch while yer does me!”

“Right, so look when yer hole’s all nice and ready, wipe yer fingers over the end of the wood and I’s push it up for yer and jiggle it about a bit!”

Without even bothering to remove his threadbare blazer, Jason sat on the edge of the bed to arrange his fly and allow his erection to escape. Holding the wooden toy he watched fascinated as Billie’s right arm disappeared behind to lubricate himself whilst his left hand continued to slowly masturbate.

“Don’t yer fucking cum yet with all that wanking, ‘cause I wants to suck yer off,” he said leaning ever closer, “is yer bum ready yet, ’cause we’s better be quick.”

“Ooohh.. fuck!”

It didn’t take more than a minute before Billie was ready. The two greasy fingers had really worked their magic, as indeed had his other hand for a tiny blob of precum had finally appeared on the end of his cock, so under instruction to lean forward he did just that. Jason, with one hand on his own cock, faced with the prospect of a delicious mouthful of leaking cock eagerly reached out between Billie’s legs and casting any pretence of hygiene aside quickly inserted two fingers inside. By now the passage was fully relaxed and more than ready to receive the wooden willy which even before Billie realised had been pushed fully home to stretch his anal tract like never before, surpassing even the largest carrot that been tested todate.

Unsurprisingly, Jason was the first to ejaculate producing an usually large discharge which he soon succeeded in accidentally smearing over everything including the front of his trousers and even the blazer. Billie, recognising he wasn’t going to be far behind from being under pressure both oral and anal couldn’t hold on any longer and started to ejaculate into Jason’s waiting mouth. As was usual where Billie was concerned, ejaculation was a two-part operation with the second instalment coming a few seconds later which in this instance coincided with him suddenly drawing back from Jason just as he was to complete the cycle.

“Is that yer mum’s voice?” he gasped in horror. “She’s coming up the fucking stairs!”

“Jason! I’ve been calling you!” it was Doreen’s voice and it was getting closer.

Petrified, Jason had frozen, Billie’s final discharge now slid down his face.

“Fucking wake up!” hissed Billie shaking him with one hand whilst desperately trying to pull his trousers up with the other and smear Vaseline everywhere with the other.

Footsteps were heard on the stairs, Billie continued to shake Jason back to life. Doreen for her part had had enough of discovering boys doing naughty things to themselves behind closed bedroom doors so had very wisely taken her time not wishing to catch the boys doing what they had just been doing.


The door slowly opened pushing Billie’s bag to one side, the fact the bag was there was in itself a good clue that naughty events could well have been happening. Doing his best to look innocent of any such disgusting habits Billie was standing by the bed, albeit rather awkwardly since the wooden willy was still wedged up his bottom and his underpants a crumpled mess within his capacious trousers. Jason remained sat on the edge of the bed, his blazer pulled across to hide the gaping fly, not daring to move he looked up.

“Jason, is yer deaf, I’s been calling you, I’s got an errand for yer.” she exhaled smoke trying not to notice at the pot of Vaseline on the floor beside them. “I want’s yer to nip down to Packers and get us a couple of tins of peas to go with our tea.”

“Oh uumm.. right,” it was a tricky situation and he thought he might just get away with it, “well I’s pop down in a minute for some money then?”

“I’s got the money for yer now, here…” the coins rattled in her hand.

To compound Jason’s discomfort there was now a choice. Should he take the money with the hand still coated in semen, as was the sleeve of his blazer that he had just used to wipe his face or should he proffer his other hand, the greasy one that had reluctantly relinquished it’s anal probing of Billie.

Billie shuffled uncomfortably around for the wooden willy now felt as though it were on the move, but whether it was being drawn further in or being pushed out he couldn’t decide. For a few moments whilst Doreen waited for Jason to take the money the room fell silent, silent that was until Billie’s over active sphincter decided to forceably eject the invader with a loud plopping sound.

“Shit!” he exclaimed quite unable to stop himself.

Doreen looked at him wondering if that were actually the case. “Yer wot?”

However, before anything further could be said the wooden willy set off down the baggy trouser leg to appear noisily on the floor between his feet. Despite his predicament even Jason was hard pressed not to laugh, it did though give him a chance to try to wipe a hand on his trousers under cover of the blazer.

In disbelief Doreen continued to look at Billie, then down to the strange object now between his feet, finally to Jason who’s outstretched hand glistening with Vaseline.

“Two tins of peas were it yer wanted mum?”


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