Bog Off
by Tom


Chapter 24: Meanwhile…

“Well, so I’s gonna go and see Joel, see wot he’s doing like then.” Bogbrush had already downed the sandpaper and pushed the pair of superbly mismatched bookends to one side of the bench. “I dunno how’s how yer does this bloody wood thing stuff, all I get’s is they bleeding splinters in me fingers!”

“Well, it’s ‘cause yer wanks too much innit, see yer hands ain’t very steady is they,” Kelvin grinned, “see if yer was to use that sandpaper stuff on they book things just like yer was wanking off a gert big willy then yer’d get a fucking wonderful finish!”

“Bog off! I’s gonna see Joel.”

Leaving Kelvin to rather messily complete gluing whatever he was gluing, Bogbrush slowly wandered off. However, the purpose of his mission was more than simply about enquiring after his health, but that they should arrange to get together with Kelvin.

“Wot’s doing then Joel?” enquired Bogbrush arriving seconds later after his long and arduous trip around the workshop, naturally checking for signs of under-apron activity and concluding if he wasn’t mistaken that half the class were already at it.

“Oh, I’s don’t fucking know does us? I’s ain’t no good at this wood shit, is yer?”

Delighted to have an excuse to stop and chat Joel looked up from his project. His workmanship where bookends were concerned looked even worse than that of Bogbrush’s, not that either family had more maybe than five books between them, possibly six if the entire Twerks library were included. Although, plump Dave’s family on the other hand had what Dave described as several books, belonging to his older brother who could be found incessantly masturbating over the coloured pages of the said books which depicting huge breasts and hairy mounds.

“Nah, I’s ain’t no good neither, it’s all shit innit this wood stuff.” Bogbrush’s eyes gravitated down to Joel’s apron, unusually there was not the merest hint of an erection. “How’s yer willy then?”

“Fucking all sore innit,” Joel’s right hand made a confirmative foray into the trouser pocket, the fingers instantly finding their way under the sagging elastic of the dirty white with red trim, Guptha’s International briefs, “I ain’t had a fucking wank since Sunday and when I’s did it then it really bloody hurt.”

“So yer ain’t been able to wank then?”

Bogbrush’s right hand mirrored Joel’s, except his fingers were inside some very old and badly fitting tan coloured Guptha’s International briefs with dark brown trim. It had been his favourite underwear along the matching vest from when he was twelve and had witnessed innumerable infusions of spunk along with many invasions by Kelvin’s roving hands.

“Nah, it fucking hurts to rub it,” painful or not Joel knew he had started to become erect, the sight of Bogbrush’s hand playing moving under the apron was a naturally quite a catalyst. “So is yer gonna wank then? I’d help wank if yer wanted, I’s ‘spose us could do it right now like if yer fancied.”

“Yeah, if I’s gets it out yer can do all the work and pretend yer’s just wanking yerself!” grinning, Bogbrush moved to stand beside him unzipping his fly under cover of the apron as he went. “Yer knows us could do this when’s we’s both wearing they girls knickers that yer likes… and, and if yer was to get another pair I’s sure Kelv would join us, so wot’s think?”

“Oh fuck!” Joel’s hand was already under the apron pulling Bogbrush’s twitching cock out from the fly. “Yer all sticky under yer end bit… oh fuck wot a mess!”

“Hey, don’t fucking break off! Now listen, it won’t take much to get I to cum ‘cause I’s been rubbing it all lesson!”

“I ‘spose as I don’t wanna rub it yer could have sucked me if us wasn’t in class like.” said Joel.

“I’s suck yer anytime. Now d’yer want yer bum fingered while yer wanks me?” asked Bogbrush, finding it hard to contain his thoughts when he was so aroused. “In fact if yer’s turns round a bit nobody’ll see if I’s gets me hand down the back of yer pants!”

“Wot now?”

“Yeah, yer gotta turn a bit to yer left.”

Joel’s cock was straining inside his trousers. Painful as it was he desperately needed some sort of sexual relief and although unsure quite what to expect from Bogbrush in the middle of a woodwork class he gratefully accepted the offer.

“Is it clean?” whispered Bogbrush before dissolving into a giggling fit.

“I dunno, I can’t bleeding look can us!” embarrassed, Joel blushed and tightened his grip on Bogbrush’s cock.

“But yer don’t need a shit or nothing?” more giggling.

“Nah, not right now! Just fucking get it up!” the giggling infectious.

“And, don’t yer strangle me willy ‘cause I’s want’s to use it later on!”

Forty seven seconds later, possibly forty-nine.

“Oooh fuck!” gasped Bogbrush.

Joel’s hand was now covered spunk. Bogbrush had drifted off towards masturbatory heaven wearing his favourite old underpants soaked with spunk, nevertheless he had somehow retained the idea of making Joel climax by aggressive prostate massage. Success was of course dependent upon Joel’s frame of mind for if he were not entirely receptive then it would never work, but finding the circumstances of their coupling to be extremely arousing he was more than willing to perform to the tune of Bogbrush’s finger once inserted deep inside.

“Oooh fuck!” reiterated Joel, it seemed Bogbrush really had touched the spot.

Wobbling at the knees he leant heavily on the bench, his cock spurting forth an entire twenty four hours plus reserve supply of semen into his briefs. Delighted with his success as bum prodder par excellence, Bogbrush just couldn’t resist having one last sortie and implanted two fingers to knuckle depth forcing Joel to stand on tiptoe, his eyes crossed, his eyes watered, he wanted Bogbrush’s cock up there next time.


“Oooh fuck me!”

A very, very excited and trembling Bogbrush having been brought to a shuddering climax and had just graduated with a first in prostate massage, was very close to a second trip to masturbatory heaven. Yet, there were limits to even his sexual prowess and he wisely resisted, instead he took the option to retrieve his fingers from Joel’s now very dilated opening, wipe then on the tail of Joel’s grubby white shirt and quit whilst he was still ahead.

“Oooh fuck!” gasped Joel.

“Better go before Wilson finds us, maybe Kelv can join us for a next time like?”

Excited, Bogbrush sounded decidedly wrecked, for he was. Joel nodded in exhausted agreement, getting his breath he watched as Bogbrush walked very awkwardly back to his own bench hoping that he wasn’t seen sniffing his fingers. Joel though had his own little tricks, facing the wall he pushed a hand down the front of his briefs to shamelessly daub the excess spunk around his cock and balls, then lick his fingers.


Meanwhile across the workshop, Luke had not attracted any attention making his way over to the woodstore even though his erection was still only concealed by his apron. He was though now counting the cost in terms of seminal dissipation for his few minutes of high risk pleasure, it appeared he had excelled himself in terms of discharge for on tentatively looking under the apron it was quite apparent that semen was everywhere. Unfortunately, coming from a home where clothes and smartness of uniform mattered the situation did not bode well and he could foresee there could be a problem when he returned home anointed with a plethora of dried semen stains. So, whilst it seemed logical to keep the apron on and hide the mess by doing that it only really helped the distribution, it was a catch twenty-two situation.

Outside the woodstore door, peering though a hole in the custom modified door frame Mr Wilson was willing Luke ever onward, preferably to pull back more of the apron and expose what he had. Moments later his wish would be granted, Luke had rightly decided that his first step should be to get the unbending erection back inside his briefs and had just taken off the apron. His eye virtually glued to the spyhole and his right hand glued to his cock through his pocket, Mr Wilson’s fantasies were now ensured for that evening as Luke’s almost five inches twanged into view.

It was sight not easily forgotten, being wet and shiny with semen, hard as steel with the dark red head fully exposed, refusing to go soft it presented Luke with a sticky problem and sight of heaven to Mr Wilson. The question for Luke was how to get it back inside his underpants? It seemed the only way would be to stand up and drop his trousers, that though entailed the risk of being caught should Mr Wilson return, as it was he could always attempt to cover matters with his hands.

Mentally comparing the size to that of Kelvin, Bogbrush and Connor there was no doubt in Mr Wilson’s mind that Luke came a poor fourth. Yet for all that there was something about him that really did hold an attraction, whether it was just that he was only average size, the paucity of pubic hair or was it that he appeared to wear traditional white briefs? Whatever, Luke had just got up from the woodpile he had been sat on and was reaching for his zip, Mr Wilson was beside himself with excitement.

After looking very anxiously around Luke took a deep breath and started to undo the clasp on his trousers, whether it was because his fingers were still sticky with Dave’s spunk or just nerves it took him a several precious seconds before the waistband parted. The full splendour of his erection twanged into view, the white elastic of his briefs having been pushed beneath his balls framed the picture perfectly, it was the shadow which fell across the picture that made his heart miss a beat.

“Fuckkk!” he looked up, Mr Wilson was standing in front of him looking down.

“I’m so sorry Luke, I should have knocked or something.” sounding contrite, looking contrite, yet lying through his teeth belied just how aroused Mr Wilson was beneath his white workshop coat. “But look, please don’t worry, don’t be embarrassed I’ve seen a lot over the years.”

“But yer ain’t meant to see me sodding willy!” blurted Luke without thinking.

“Oh..” the flippant response had for a second put Mr Wilson off his quest.

Luke, now understandably a brilliant red just couldn’t reply, instead he continued to try to force his wayward erection back inside his briefs, the ever present slippery coating of semen did little to help the manoeuvre.

“I, I brought you some paper towels… they might, “ his eyes were fixated on the much abused reddened, mushroom head that sprouted the few inches in front of him, “they, might… you could try and clean up with them..”

“Yeah…” muttered Luke after a pause, actually a very pregnant pause since neither he nor the teacher knew what to do next.

“I’ll, I’ll leave you to it… and stop anybody else coming in.. uumm..”

“Sir… yer won’t say nothing will yer?” asked the puce Luke with hands covered in semen as he struggled to stretch the waistband of his briefs to get it over the shaft.

“No, no of course not, this is just between us, isn’t it…” he managed an embarrassed smile, “unless you get caught doing it again that is!”

On leaving the room and closing the door behind him he turned to once again peer through the spyhole with the realisation that as with Connor, Bogbrush and Kelvin before he had been too slow to exert his authority. However, luckily it seemed as though Luke hadn’t quite grasped the true situation. Or, had he?


Kelvin was racing to finish a second plate loaded high with chips and baked beans before the lesson bell rang, he had managed to persuaded Pete who occasionally brought in his own sandwiches to queue up and claim the meal he was entitled too in exchange for Kelvin’s packet of crisps.

“Bleeding hell, wot’s they puts in these things?” Bogbrush looked in wonder at the charcoaled sausage he had claimed as soon Pete had put the plate on the table.

“Fuck knows!” spluttered Kelvin who appeared to be attempting to shovel the whole plateful down in one go. “I’s loves these fucking beans!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Kelv, d’yer have to bleeding spit ’em out over us!” Pete brushed the bits off his threadbare blazer and stood up “Fuck this Bog’s, there’s more of they bleeding beans over us than on the fucking plate so I’s off.”

“He’s right,” said Bogbrush, “it’s like eating in the fucking zoo with yer!”

“Bollocks!” more beans flew in Bogbrush’s direction proving Kelvin couldn’t eat and talk at the same time. “Well I’s gotta eat it all before the bleeding bell goes ain’t us.”

“Hey, Kelv…”

“Oh fuck me! Wot’s yer fucking want now?” half a bean and a chewed chip whizzed by Jason’s left ear as he looked up to see who it was.

“Well don’t bleeding spit over I!” said Jason. “Why don’t yer eat fucking proper!”

“Here we fucking go again!” said Bogbrush with a grin.

“Sod off! So wot’s yer fucking want then?” a bean fell from his mouth onto the grubby white shirt leaving an imprint in it’s own weight of tomato sauce.

“Oh fuck! Yer dribbling bleeding beans now!” coyly observed Jason. “Messy sod!”

“Wot d’yer bleeding want then?”

“I ain’t want nothing, it’s Billie innit…”

“Billie!” interrupted Kelvin, another bean fell onto the shirt. “Wot’s he want then?”

“Tell yer wot Kelv, our bleeding Rover makes less mess eating than wot yer do!” confirmed Bogbrush.

“Cheeky git… and fuck Rover! Anyway’s wot’s Billie want then?”

“Who’s fucking Rover?” asked Jason.

“Lives down our street!” replied Bogbrush with a grin. “He gotta big willy and all!”

“Wot?” Jason was confused. “Oh fuck I’s dunno. Anyhow, our Billie he wanna knows if he’s should come home with I’s tonight, so yer can finish that thing…”

Jason glanced at Bogbrush, who was of course was already privy to the fact Billie had posed for Jason’s wooden dildo, the full details of the which had been previously relayed by an aroused Kelvin.

“Yeah, that be good, so’s he’s gonna walk home with us then?” he pushed the plate away, now cleaner than his shirt. “Well wot yer fucking waiting for, go and tell him that’s alright, he’s can come back with us!”

“Oh right.” Jason looked around wondering if his audience had been terminated.

It had.

“Well? Fuck off then!”

“Yer a dirty sod, wot yer gonna do with Billie then?” Bogbrush watched as Jason wandered off, hands already in pockets.

“Well our Jase’s has had him up him ain’t he?” Kelvin grinned, he wiped the excess tomato sauce from his mouth with the sleeve of his blazer, the only remaining sleeve button lacerating a ripe yellow pustule in the process. “So I’s reckon’s that gert nice long, thin willy of his is gonna go up me a treat!”

“Well don’t fart too much after all they fucking beans or yer’ll gas the poor sods in that little shed!”

“Nah, so wot’s you gonna do tonight then?”

“Well, if yer’s gonna have Jase and Billie,” Bogbrush grinned, “I thinks I’s might try to get that Brett to come back with us, I’s sure there’s more clothes that’ll fit him.”

“Be more fun than wanking bloody Rover again then!” Kelvin laughed.

“Well Rover don’t talk do he, but Brett do don’t he? So’s I’s can get all the gossip and I ‘spect I’s can even find out wot happened with yer, Jase and Billie last time!”

“Oh shit!” Kelvin’s face fell. “Yer don’t fucking reckon that fucking Jase goes round telling wot us does do yer?”

“Dunno, ‘spect so, anyhow’s I’s gonna find out later.” said Bogbrush. “Why, wot have yer been doing with him, cause yer looks fucking guilty now!”

“Uumm..” he thought quickly, well that was subjective, “yer Bog’s d’yer fancy a wank ‘cause we’s got history second lesson ain’t us?”

“Yeah alright.” Bogbrush readily agreed since he was still quite aroused by having Joel attend to him an hour earlier. “And, I’s let yer know wot Brett say’s then.”

“Shit!” Despite trying to evade the subject guilt was all over Kelvin’s face, Bogbrush laughed. Luckily the lesson bell curtailed any further conversation on the subject.


“We’s back mum.” called out Jason on opening the front door.

“Now don’t say nothing, yer’s come back with Jase, right?” Kelvin looked at Billie who was already playing with himself, actually he hadn’t ever stopped.

“Wot’s think I’s is, fucking daft or something!” replied the oversize blazer.

“Come on then,” Jason led the way, “were is she then?”

The clouds of tobacco smoke coming from the kitchen doorway should have given them a broad hint as to where Doreen was, however it didn’t.

“Were is you then mum?” asked Kelvin blankly looking around.

“Sorting out yer tea, just come back from work and I had to pick something up to eat on the way back.”

“Wot we got?” asked Jason hoping it didn’t involve baked beans as Kelvin’s gastric system was currently in overdrive and rumbling ominously.

“Bangers and mash.” Doreen had just unpacked the sausages and put them on a plate to put in the fridge.

Kelvin led the way into the kitchen to check it was the economy sized packet of sausages, indeed it was and their appearance did not disappoint being the usual anaemic grey which matched the cardboard packet they came in.

“Ooh good, I likes they, can us have some beans with ’em?”

“Yer’ll turn into a bean!” Jason sighed.

“So wot’s Billie been doing then, ain’t seen yer for a few days, anything interesting?”  Doreen dropped ash over the kitchen table as she spoke.

“I’s.. uumm.. I’s come back to uumm..” his brain stuttered to a halt, “with Jase like!”

“Oh I see.”

The conversation such as it was, was of no great interest since experience told her that bringing a friend home from school would invariably only lead to one thing and it was best to steer clear of boys in bedrooms and let them do as boys in bedrooms invariably did.

“He’s gonna help us do me ‘omework!” volunteered Jason.

“Yer wot?” the note of complete surprise in Doreen’s voice said it all. “Homework?”

“Well..” Jason looked as though he had said the wrong thing, as indeed he had since looks of total disbelief abounded, even from Billie.

“Bleeding hell!” said Kelvin. “‘omework!”

“Kelv, I’s told yer before no bloody swearing!” said Doreen, she looked Jason and Billie who it appeared had just started doing their homework in their trouser pockets. “Wot sort of homework’s that then, yer’s never done homework before!”

“Oh, uumm..” that really did fox the pair of them, after some painful thought Jason finally spoke, “sorta woodwork won’t it Billie… like!”

“Oh, wot in yer bedroom?” now she was intrigued. “So I ‘spose Kelv’ll be helping as it’s wood and it’s in the bedroom?”

“Yeah, that’s right, I’s is!” agreed Kelvin. “But I’s gotta get me shed ready first.”

“The shed? Get it ready?” the mind boggled, she looked round for her packet of Embassy and the lighter, it really was all too much after a hard day on the checkout till at Guptha’s International.

“Well us better get going then!” said Jason suddenly leading the way out to hall. “Come on upstairs Billie.”

“Right, yer come down to me shed when yer’s ready then,” Kelvin followed them to the stairs, “I’s just nip up and gonna change now.”

Doreen shook her head and lit another cigarette before reaching for the teapot.

Kelvin had been in the shed for a few minutes before Jason and Billie arrived to find everything arranged for Billie’s modelling session, not as they had expected to catch Kelvin playing with himself.

“See this is wot I’s done so far,” said Kelvin waving the partially carved wooden willy in the air, “so us needs to have proper look at yer end bit to finish it.”

“Well, yer just stands there and I’ll get yer trousers down then.” said Jason excitedly to Billie who had been expecting to undress himself, yet this did sound more fun.

“Is us gonna… well..” Billie looked hopefully at Kelvin, “yer knows…”

“Depend’s,” Kelvin’s eyes were focused on Billie’s trousers which Jason had already unfastened and were rapidly descending, “gor, fuck, the dirty sod he’s hard already!”

“Wot’s fucking expect!”

The next ten minutes involved considerable groping, laughing, some inaccurate measuring, foreskin manipulation, a few deft stokes with a chisel followed by a brief skirmish with some fine sandpaper.

“There! Wot’s think of ‘eh then!”

Kelvin turned from the bench to proudly display a pretty good facsimile of Billie’s organ complete with suitable handle allowing for insertion to the full depth. All eyes immediately made the mental comparison which the real thing which twitched excitedly before them. Strangely enough, Jason’s trousers were also around his feet and his cock also on display since whilst Kelvin was working they had decided to compare the lack of pubic hair and count how many each had. However, sadly their education failed them for it was evident that counting beyond twenty-nine or in Billie’s case twenty-two, was just too problematic so they gave up and suggested that Kelvin should also display his cock, not that they expected any dissent!

“Cor, so is that me willy then?” asked Billie running his fingers over it. “Good innit?”

“Yeah I ‘spose.” Kelvin was flushed with pride, his own cock also very hard.

“So, would yer make us one of Jase’s willy.. so’s I’s can take him to bed with I?”

“Ooohh!” Jason flushed, this was pure flattery.

“Yeah, have to find a smaller bit of wood first!” Kelvin laughed.

“Fuck yer, yer a sod it ain’t small!”

However, Kelvin wasn’t wasting any more time with social intercourse, he needed some action. Without warning his jeans suddenly fell to the floor along with the orange and black briefs, still damp and covered in spunk stains the distinctive aroma of stale semen filled the air.

“I reckons we tosses a coin for who’s gonna try it out first and they other two shags each other as they watches, yeah?”

“Fuck!” exclaimed Jason, the smell was overpowering, he stared at the stained orange briefs. “Has yer just wanked in yer pants?”

“How many times d’yer cum in they then?” gasped Billie not only in amazement but in need of oxygen as well. It reminded him of catching his elder brother in the act whenever he could, but even he could not have produced the quantity of semen that Kelvin obviously could.

“In the last lesson wunnit… now, there was an odd penny or something lying around yer somewhere,” Kelvin looked on the bench, “ah, yer ‘tis… so say the odd one out of three goes get’s to fuck himself with it then? Right?”

“Uumm.. yeah I ‘spose.” said Jason looking at Billie, who merely nodded having decided to go with the flow for whatever happened it would be fun.

“Ready then?”

“Heads!” called Billie watching coin fly through the air.

“Nah, tails innit.”

“Jase, ready…” again the coin spun through the air.

“Tails!” called Jason.

“Nah, heads innit,” Kelvin grinned, “Billie yer can throw it now ‘cause it’s yer willy!”


“Heads!” called Kelvin.

“Oh fuck, it’s tails,” Billie looked at Jason, “well yer gonna do it then, us’ll watch.”

“Yer’ll need some of this then.” Kelvin turned to reach up on the shelf amongst his selection penile lubricants. “I thinks this’ll make yer bum smell nice after!”

“Wot the fucks this?” Jason read the label with difficulty, reading was like simple arithmetic and basically difficult. “Rose scent.. scented hand lo..lo.. lot..on?”

“Yeah, yer’ll bum smell nice after, I only uses that for special occasions!” Kelvin smiled, he turned to Billie. “So’s yer’s better get some on yer willy as well, ‘cause yer’s shagging I unless yer wants me to shag yer?”

“Wot!” Billie took one look at the drooling monster. “Nah, not with that!”

“‘spose yer starts Jase off, then he do it himself while us get’s started?” said Kelvin handing the toy to Billie. “Jase, just shut up, bend over and us’ll do the rest!”

“Should I’s start him with a finger then?” asked Billie sounding delightfully naive.

“Oh I’s thinks so, don’t yer? Don’t forget yer nice lube stuff!”

Excited, without further ado Billie quickly got into the swing of things with first one finger and then another, the wooden willy bringing the final assault rear escalating matters to the verge of orgasm and a grand, if messy finale. Admittedly Jason had winced a little when first entered, but once reaching behind to take over form Billie’s hand he soon had it thrusting in and out to his own taste whilst small blobs of semen started to appear.

Billie meantime had taken his cue from the wooden willy and was approaching Kelvin from behind, who already bent over and leant with arms outstretched against the shed wall was more than ready to receive the real thing.

“Is yer clean then?” asked Billie, not that he was going to either look closely or abort the mission anyway.

“Ah,” never one to obviously mislead, yet unable to stall ejaculation further Kelvin gasped, “clean as yer’s is! Just get it up!”

The was no answer to it, neither was there any going back. With Kelvin’s sphincter winking in excitement and bidding him on Billie confirmed his aim. Lunging forward with all his might he sank himself inside, winding Kelvin in the process it triggered a chain reaction bringing both to a monumental climax. For his part, Kelvin literally sprayed the shed wall with semen while Billie performed a feat of self-lubrication allowing him to continue energetically humping even after a very exhausted Kelvin had finished.


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