Bog Off
by Tom


Chapter 18: Kelvin’s big idea

It had taken Doreen a good couple of days to regain her equanimity following the altercation with Kelvin after his fateful meeting with Cilla, for sadly all of Bogbrush’s attempts at cleaning him up had failed. She was so angry, she had even cajoled the hands-off Wayne into father mode to admonish him, although Wayne tended to view the whole incident as more amusing in that a son of his could produce so much mess! As Jason correctly observed, albeit from a safe distance, she was even angrier than the year before when Kelvin, having consumed two cans of Wayne’s lager had interrupted the evenings television viewing by bursting into the smoke filled living room and promptly throwing up over everything fusing the television in the process!

All that though was now history and Kelvin had been applying some very serious thought to the cause of his latest problem, although his distinct lack of brain power meant it wasn’t so much lateral thinking as semi-vertical thinking. The basic fact was he had become addicted to masturbation and no matter what was said he would still indulge as many times a day as he could get away with it, his unspoken motto being anywhere, anytime or in me pants! Therefore, he convinced himself all he had to do to appease Doreen was contain the colossal discharges and not let anything get onto his clothes, theoretically it was a good idea but the downside was that he didn’t want to loose the feeling of walking around with slimy underwear!

However that was theory and he wasn’t very good at theory anyway. The immediate problem being that there were no clean clothes to wear to school, for what with Doreen having been on strike over the washing, neither things nor he were looking particularly good. The situation was so bad that even his very old and worn out Spiderman briefs had been pressed into use, replete with failing elastic, finger size hole in the seat and assorted stains in many hues from when last worn. So, he set off for school safe in the belief that such a sticky situation could never arise again for now he was going to give his latest, fantastic, brilliant, if not foolproof idea a trial with the unsuspecting Bogbrush’s help.


The morning break heralded the end of the Billie’s remedial English class, problems with joined-up writing and assimilating words over four syllables long all combined to imply his academic future did not bode well. Jason and Brett could on occasion manage six syllables and even take a stab at spidery writing, not that it was ever particularly legible, but at least they tried. All told the outlook didn’t look particularly bright for any of them, not that they cared nor even thought about it for in all probability they would follow in their parents footsteps and end up with an unskilled manual job living on the same council estate for years to come.

To that end the school gave the more practical subjects like wood or metalwork equal weight to the more esoteric subjects as history or geography in the hope that some sort of manual employment would be more likely to follow. So with the morning break over and some thirty minutes into a woodwork lesson Jason’s class were found to be busily engaged in dealing with book ends, dog ends or in Connor’s case, a bell end!

“D’yer remember,” whispered Billie to Jason, “that Brett said he’d let us play with him like?”

“Oh yeah, yeah I’s forgotten about that.” Jason grinned. “Yer still fancies it then?”

Billie nodded, it didn’t take much to guess what his hand was doing under his apron. “I’s thought about it last night, d’yer thinks he still do it?”

“Wot yer was wanking in bed?”

“Don’t yer! Course I’s bleeding was, now is yer gonna ask him, or is I?”

“Were’s we gonna do it, that’s the tricky bit?” Jason’s hand now also out of sight.

“Wot about yer shed or, uumm.. or the park or something?”

“Yeah, let’s ask him first. But, is us all gonna have a wank now like us usually do?”

“Course we is, ain’t that wot woodwork class’s is for?”

“Yeah, betterer than pissing about with they bleeding book end things, seeing as us ain’t got no books at home anyway’s!”

All of a second later they were by Brett’s bench and Jason had posed the question.

“It’s where we does it innit?” said Brett, quite obviously excited at the proposition he looked around and continued. “I’s wants yer two to do me bum… ‘cause see I’s did it the other night and I’s gert cum without wanking proper like!”

“Cor.. wot with yer finger or wot?” Billie’s apron appeared to take on a new life.

“Bit of that and then a gert thick pencil thing I’s found.” Brett grinned. “So, is us wanking today then?”

“Well’s he’s bloody started already ain’t he!” Jason nodded to Billie. “Well, shall us do each other just like standing about then?”

“Oh yeah, all sorta a bit hands on like!” Brett nodded enthusiastically.

Across the workshop Mr Wilson was approaching Connor who, still struggling with the mismatched pair of book ends had rather vocally asked for assistance which conveniently gave a legitimate reason for the two to be next to each other.

“See Sir, they ain’t much cop is they?”

Connor was determined to pursue his quarry and offered one of the book ends for Mr Wilson to inspect, who made some pretence of looking at it in between glancing at the movements beneath the apron. The fact was that Mr Wilson had convinced himself that outside of the workshop he could resist the advances, yet now standing next to the twelve year old equipped with an erect, adult sized cock his resolve was considerably weakened in contrast to the hardness of his cock under his white coat.

“Yes.. could be better.” he said noting that from the corner of his eye that the apron appeared to have moved just enough to show that beneath it there was something pink with a small hand barely able to clasp the fingers around it.

“Don’t matter how much I’s rubs it, I’s can’t get rid of they splinters on the end,” Connor looked up and giggled, “d’yer thinks I oughta keep rubbing Sir?”

It was a moment of sheer madness. Unable to stop himself Mr Wilson reached down and pushed his hand under the apron to grab hold of Connor’s twitching cock. There was no doubt it was quite a full handful, hot, clammy, already slick with precum and desperate for an experienced hand to forcefully bring it to a satisfying climax.

“Oh.. oh fuck!” gasped Connor, who having never really thought he would succeed in his game of temptation was more than a little stunned at Mr Wilson’s reaction. His bluff had been well and truly called, the result being pretty much instantaneous with a liberal discharge of hot semen over the strange hand, grubby school shirt, heavily stained trousers and the wooden floor.

“That’s how you rub the end bit… I expect that’s got rid of your splinters hasn’t it!”

Mr Wilson’s voice was hoarse. Trying not to show that he too was nervous, albeit very aroused, he turned to walk somewhat shakily away hoping that bluster and bravado would prevail and carry the day. Once away from the bench he paused and appeared to scratch his nose as he licked his fingers, his mind flipped back to his scouting days as maybe, he told himself they weren’t over quite yet. Indeed they were not, for the situation with Bogbrush had yet to be fully resolved and since they both knew of their proclivities it would take very little to culture a relationship if he wanted to pursue one and maybe even Kelvin would be interested as well.

Meanwhile, back at Jason’s bench the completion of book ends had been put on hold as there had been far more important matters of a physical nature to attend too. Mutual masturbation was the name of the game and it was easily achieved by taking turns to stand next to each other and explore the contents of their trousers under cover of the apron.

“Hey, is yer wanking?” just like one of his frequent obnoxious, gaseous contributions Farty had silently appeared having only just realised what they were doing.

“We’s just finished, ‘cause we’s all cum now, yer should have come over sooner.” Jason pulled his hand out from under Billie’s apron and sniffed his fingers.

“Oh, so I’s too late?”

“Yeah, yer should have seen wot us were doing before like.” Brett laughed.

“Shit,” said Farty, “now Jase before I forgets, our Cilla says to tell yer brother she wanna do it soon, so where’s it gonna happen?”

“Dunno, I’s tell him and he can bloody sort it out,” said Jason, “seeing as he ain’t told us much about wot happened when they’s met anyway.”

“That’s me third time this morning,” said Billie proudly wiping his fingers on his shirt, he hoped to revert the conversation back to it’s normal level, even if his cock was feeling a little overworked, “when I’s woke up.. on the bus and now!”

“Yer always were a dirty bugger!” said Jason, who had only managed it twice.

Farty smiled for it may have seemed too late to join in, but he knew in many other ways he was the most sexually experienced one there. He might have been the most unlikely looking boy, yet had been taking absolutely gargantuan steps towards his sexual development. It wasn’t something he would ever admit too, nevertheless it was very instructive all the same, for since being coerced into masturbating with his sister Cilla at the beginning of the week, the two of them had been together at least once a day to build on their incestuous relationship.

Both were becoming very adept at finding the erogenous zone and bringing the other off to a climax and that in addition to the tremendous solo efforts they were also putting in. In fact, Farty was devoting so much effort to extract so little semen that even he was beginning to wonder if he were overdoing it, although there was actually no if about it! The truth was he needed to give his testicles a rest before they gave up on him, but now involved with the insatiable Cilla he had switched from being a once or twice-a-day boy to masturbating at every opportunity. So whilst Billie had managed three orgasms so far that morning, Farty to his credit had managed four in between waking up, the bus, a lesson break and was now about to make it five!

“Well if I stands by yer bench, will one of yer lot toss us off then?”

“Yeah.” Brett moved over and quickly pushed a hand under the apron to discover the fly was already unzipped. “Bleeding hell, it’s all gert sticky in yer, when d’yer last do it?”

“In break,” he grinned, “just get on with it!”


Something else had been happening in the break and that had been Kelvin trying to explain his latest plan to avoid seminal stairs on his uniform to Bogbrush.

“See Bogs, I reckons if I ain’t got no cum over me, then our mum ain’t gonna go mad is she?”

“No… and she do go gert mad don’t she?” Bogbrush looked at him quizzically for experience told him that Kelvin had devised yet another one of his grand schemes, every one guaranteed to fail. “And, so wot’s yer thought of now then?”

“Well I’s nicked this from our dad’s bedroom.” looking very nervously around he delved into the assorted rubbish that filled his blazer pocket, with great ceremony held his hand out for Bogbrush to take the mystery object.

“Wot.. wot yer fucking done now? Wot is it?” a little apprehensive Bogbrush opened his hand and looked down. “Fuck me! Yer’s nicked this?”

“Yeah, I’s ain’t seen one before has yer?”

“Nah… cor, feels funny don’t it?” Bogbrush felt the sealed packet and pushed the condom around inside. “Is this wot they calls lubricated or something then? It’s all fucking slippy inside like innit?”

“Yeah, I’s can’t wait to put it on, makes yer willy all slippery like!” as ever Kelvin was erect, in fact very, very erect and in knowing what he had in his pocket had been having great difficulty in refraining from opening it during his first two remedial classes.

“But, Kelv wot’s yer gonna do with it?” Bogbrush was rapidly catching him up in the erection stakes, pushing a hand into his bottomless pocket to facilitate matters.

“Well, don’t yer fucking see?”

“Nah, I’s fucking don’t fucking see! Wot’s yer gonna do with it?”


Kelvin was quite disappointed that Bogbrush hadn’t immediately grasped his plan. Maybe if he had some mystical powers it might have been easier to see where Kelvin was going, but based on previous experience Bogbrush could only imagine it was going to end up as another failed, sperm splattered disaster.


“Look, if I puts it on then I’s wanks, well all me cum  can’t go nowhere can it?” he said excitedly. “Don’t yer see now?”

“Uumm..” the brain cells were getting overloaded having to think, “but, then wot?”

“Well I don’t take it off does I? Don’t yer see, so I’s can wank away all day like I always does and, and..” he gabbled excitedly, “then none of it’s over me clothes!”

“Cor fuck that’s clever innit!” Bogbrush was almost baffled at the simple logic, almost but not quite. “But yer’s gonna fill it up with spunk and yer makes fucking gallons of cum don’t yer, so won’t it start to leak a bit?”

“Nah, be fine wunnit, ‘cause me willy be filling the hole won’t it?”

“Uumm… but ‘spose yer willy goes all soft, won’t if fall off the end?” he wasn’t supposed to think of that.

“Oh… oh fuck..” the smile went from his face, “oh fuck I ain’t thought of that.. shit!”

“Well willy’s does go soft for a bit after yer’s cum don’t they?” Bogbrush grinned.

“So yer means I’s gotta keep it hard then?” he looked at Bogbrush for confirmation.

“Yeah, still I’s ‘spose as yer always fucking hard all day anyway’s well, so won’t make no big difference will it?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Kelvin smiled, problem solved.

“But… oh.. well, but wot if yer wants a piss?”

Problems, problems. The cogs inside Kelvin’s head could almost be heard to grinding slowly to a halt.

“Oh fuck, I’s ain’t thought of that!” again there were sounds of cogs slowly turning. Several seconds later. “Well I’s could take it off have a slash and put it back on?”

“Ah yeah.” Bogbrush, bereft of other ideas simply wanted to see what a condom full of sperm looked like. “But, but wot about all that luvly cum yer collected, wot yer gonna do with it, yer not gonna waste it is yer?”

“Nah, oh I ain’t thought of that… oh… oh.. I’s got it.”

The cogs suddenly speeded up lubricated by the luvly cum, the wet patch on his briefs began to expand and engulf Spiderman, he grinned inanely. “We both likes sucking spunky fingers don’t us, so, so ‘spose I swallowed a bit instead of throwing it away like? Be a sorta real gert fucking treat like wunnit!”

“Oh, fuck me yeah! Now yer fucking talking! Yer has half and I’s have half!”

Bogbrush was not adverse to swallowing anybody’s semen, in fact he couldn’t get enough even of his own! This promised to be an opportunity definitely not to be missed especially with Kelvin sized quantities of seminal fluid having a flavour all of it’s own. “So’s can I’s have the second half and suck it out the Johnny thing after yer’s had yer’s then?”

“Yeah course, we’s mates ain’t us? But we’s have to fucking hurry up ‘cause we’s only just about got time to get it sorted!”

With that Kelvin grabbed his bag and followed by Bogbrush shot off in the direction of the toilets, it was actually a case of having too lest the first precious load be lost prematurely to the absorbency of Mr Spiderman’s web. Bursting into the toilet they looked around to see if anyone else was there, it seemed the only occupants were two first year boys who were there for genuine reasons of urology.

“Oi! Fuck off out of it!” Kelvin chased one the startled boys to the door the other quickly following and leaving a trail of urine over the floor as he escaped.

“Yer dirty little fucker, yer oughta clean that up!”

“Bog off yer gert bully!” he called back safely outside and disappearing at speed down the corridor.

“I’ll fucking have yer two little buggers next time!” shouted Kelvin, although not specifying in what sense he would have him!

“well Is have the little one when yer does!” Bogbrush laughed as he pointed to the most sanitary looking of the unsanitary cubicles. “Shall us get on with it then?”

Clawing at his trousers before the door behind them had closed Kelvin was obviously a boy on a mission. “Fucking hurry up before I cums, I’s so fucking excited!”

He wasn’t the only one, for Bogbrush had become so aroused by the situation he too was struggling to unzip his fly, he gasped as Kelvin’s trousers and the spunky Spiderman briefs descended to the dirty floor allowing the monster cock to twang into view pinging a bead of precum over Bogbrush’s blazer.

“Oh fuck! Look at it!” exclaimed Bogbrush scooping the blob off and immediately consuming it. “Why ain’t I’s got something that big!”

“‘cause I’s fucking got it first!” replied Kelvin yet again scrabbling through the rubbish in his blazer pocket to extract the Durex.

“When d’yer cum in yer pants then?” asked Bogbrush having always taken a great interest in such matters, he looked up to Kelvin. “That’s fresh cum innit?”

“I couldn’t stop meself, did it in the first lesson while they was going on about bleeding spelling or something,” he ripped the end off the Durex packet and looked inside, “well I’s got bleeding bored didn’t us?”

“So wot’s it like?” back up at Durex level Bogbrush stared at the slippery rubber creation which Kelvin was rubbing between his fingers. “Well fucking get it on then!”

“Cor! Feels fucking amazing, be like wanking with washing-up liquid!”

“Oh, I ain’t tried that yet!”

“Well yer should, it cleaned me cheese off a gert treat!”

With sex in the air and in such close proximity to Kelvin, Bogbrush was starting to have something of an emotional moment. Actually it was far more than just a moment since Kelvin meant a great deal to Bogbrush, who emotionally incapable of expressing himself found his uncontrollable actions speaking louder than words.

Pushed together in the confined space something was bound to happen. Kelvin with his drooling cock was succeeding in distributing precum over everything in range as Bogbrush grappled to extricate his own erection from the Guptha’s International turquoise underpants with a sown up fly. Bogbrush suddenly grabbed at Kelvin and kissed him full, if very sloppily on the lips. “Oh fuck!”

Stunned, Kelvin and just stood there as Bogbrush drew back and simply stared into his eyes, finally he spoke. “Kelv, fuck me… fuck me now.. please.. now!”

Kelvin gulped, he felt much the same way about Bogbrush even if he couldn’t find the words to say it. “It’ll hurt yer though won’t it?”

“Don’t care.. put the fucking Durex on and do it!”

“Bend over, hold onto something!” Kelvin scrabbled to stretch the condom over his engorged organ, the precum had already started to dribble from the end and he knew premature ejaculation threatened. “I’s gonna cum gert quick so’s get ready!”

Not helped by trembling hands, Bogbrush had only just managed to get his trousers down to his knees by the time Kelvin moved to stand behind. Moments later he felt the back of the turquoise briefs being very roughly pulled to one side, the movement accompanied by a faint tearing sound which served to trap his erection in the fly.


It wasn’t so much a question, more of a statement as Kelvin pulled at Bogbrush’s  buttocks apart and momentarily eyed the target before launching himself forward.

“Oohhh.. fuck! It hurts!” gasped Bogbrush in shock. “Fuck! Don’t fucking split me!”

“Yer fucking tight… thank fuck it’s all slippery!”

Kelvin was in and pushing ever deeper, Bogbrush really was in pain and making all sorts of incoherent noises to confirm it. It was though a sort of strange masochistic pain, mollified to a degree by the kisses being showered on his neck in between Kelvin’s encouraging grunts. In fact it was all over in less than twenty seconds, the condom had been filled with so much sperm it was oozing back down over Kelvin’s throbbing shaft. However, he stayed inside enjoying the sensation of Bogbrush writhing around, virtually impaled on his mighty cock allowing him to experience the unique sensations of anal sex.

In fact they could have stayed there for a long time, but for the crash of the toilet door signalling somebody had come in. Hardly daring to breath they stood there still coupled, Kelvin’s hand snaked around to discover that Bogbrush’s cock was still trapped inside the briefs. The downside from Bogbrush’s perspective being that he had been unable to control ejaculation to the extent that they were absolutely wet with sperm. At that point the lesson bell rang, followed moments later by hurried footsteps and the toilet door closing, at least they were now alone again and could try to clean up, then with any luck just about get to their history lesson on time.

“Ah, thank you gentleman, I’m so pleased to see you have decided to join us.”

“Fuck, yer wot!” muttered Kelvin under his breath looking first at an equally shocked Bogbrush and then over to a smiling Mr Roberts standing by the blackboard.

“Well, do come in and close the door.”

Taking one awkward step at a time, Bogbrush was convinced there was something still deeply inserted within and even if there were not, there was another problem that was now obvious to the entire class. Simply, his trousers had absorbed the excess of semen from his briefs and thanks to Kelvin’s rough treatment were sans elastic so would not stay up, instead falling down his trouser legs. The trousers, thoroughly wet with spunk shimmered in the light highlighting out what could only be the spunky outline of his erection and the extra lump created by the fallen briefs.

Kelvin also appeared to limp, but that was down to having his monster erection  severely constricted by his clothing, there was absolutely no chance of disguising the fact that his fly looked as though it might burst open at any moment. However, the good news was that he was still wearing the condom, late of Bogbrush’s anal tract and was still determined to add to it’s slimy content throughout the lesson. At least there were no visible semen stains he told himself by way of congratulation on his wonderful idea.

Of course, with a classroom of acne ridden, fifteen year old, testosterone oozing boys along with their invariably moist female counterparts it was no great surprise that just like their acne, an outbreak of sniggering broke out. There was no escape for the two hapless boys standing in front of the class and with their appendages showcased for all to see. Inevitably a selection of choice, moderately anonymous, if lewd observations were going to be made, not all tactfully whispered either!

“Wot a bleeding gert cock he got!”

“They’s been wanking!”


“I’s seen me big brother like that!”

“Wot’s the other lump? Has ‘eh got two cocks then!”

“Cor, he could give us one, but he only likes boys don’t he?”

Even Mr Roberts was surprised at what he saw and he had seen an awful lot over a twenty year teaching career. Experience told him the best way to maintain order was to get them to sit down quickly.

“Right, that’s it, quiet now. Enough of that. You two sit down.”

They passed uncomfortably through the desks towards their places followed by more comments and from many of the boys looks of envy or disbelief where Kelvin and his huge cock were concerned.

“Fuck! Wot a willy!” whispered Luke to Dave, he re-adjusted his glasses for premium viewing when they passed by. “Wish I’s had that gert thing!”

“Don’t us all, I’s getting hard.” agreed Dave, who was now regularly seating himself next to his new found sexual playmate. “Shall us do it in a minute?”

“Wot? Oh yeah!” the glasses wobbled at the mere suggestion, it would be a brave move for Luke, the toilets were one thing, but in the classroom was a whole new risky venture and very scary at that. “Oh shit… yer means now?”

“Yeah, well others do it don’t they? Still, let him get going first.” Dave nodded towards Mr Roberts, who all things considered had managed the situation quite well.

“Wot yer… do yer means we, we..” Luke flushed, “we wanks in class… now?”

“Yeah, it’s wot others do innit so they says, be good wunnit ‘cause I’s got me old, special trousers on ‘cause I’d hoped we’d sit together like.” continued Dave, his hand in his pocket.

“Old special trousers, wot?”

“They ones with the special pocket!”

“Oh.. yer right hand pocket?” he looked down, naive at times, Dave was sat on his left, his right arm was already deep in the pocket. “Oh yer means…”

“Yeah, I means… look, have I gotta bleeding spell it out, just get yer fucking hand in it ‘cause there ain’t no pocket is there, not after I cut that gert hole in it for yer!”

“Sorry I’s ain’t quite with it today, ‘cause uumm..” Luke looked down at Dave’s missing arm, “see ‘cause, well yer won’t tell nobody will yer?”

“Tell ’em wot?”

“I’s.. I’s was caught!” he whispered then looked around again to see if he had been overheard, as it was Dave could hardly hear him.

“How? Wot? Who? Caught? Wot was yer doing, wanking?”

“Yeah sorta,” he looked around once more, “yer won’t tell will yer? Promise?”

“Nah, so wot d’yer do then?”

Not being the extrovert type, it was time to look around yet once more before continuing. “Well, I’s woke up a bit early and, and.. well yer knows..”

“Knows wot,” having only heard the introduction Dave was already excited, his hand took on a new life within the hot folds of his clammy flesh, “so… so..”

“Well yer knows.. and uumm..” Luke was already turning a decidedly pink colour, his glasses slid down his nose, “and… so’s I’d had me legs in the air and I’s was..”

“Yer was wot?” Dave eyes were wide, he was hoping for a specific answer and much, much more detail. “Wot.. wanking.. or… wot?”

“Well yeah than and, and.. me finger.. well yer knows…” he flushed.

“Yer was up yer bum!”

It was the correct answer, Dave’s brain was in overdrive, this was new and something few would admit too, especially Luke who obviously thought he could confide in Dave.

Luke nervously looked around yet again.

“And… and then wot?”

“Our mum come in didn’t her!” he looked horror stricken at the thought of it. “She thought I’s were still asleep and were just leaving some clean clothes or something.”

“Shit!” visions Luke’s pimply white bottom with a finger deeply implanted flashed through Dave’s brain, not that he would do anything like it at all, ever. “So wot she say then?”

“Nothing! Wot could she say after seeing me finger in me bum and wanking me willy with me other hand!” puce, Luke looked at the desk. “She didn’t say nothing at breakfast neither, just looked at I!”

“Cor, fuck me!” Dave was a little shocked for there, but for the grace of whoever, it might well have been him apprehended sphincterial flagrante delicto.

“D’yer do it then?” suddenly Luke looked up, one of the reasons he was divulging such embarrassing information was that he wanted something in return. “So does yer, finger yer bum? It ain’t just me is it?”

“Uumm…” Dave’s bright red face said it all, “uumm.. well..”

“D’yer do it a lot like?”

Inside Luke’s nice clean briefs things were now at full stretch, even a wet spot had  appeared on the pristine white cotton. The very arousing thought that his sexual confidant did the same thing definitely warranted ejaculation in the lesson whatever the risk. And, later on they could, must have a full and extremely detailed discussion delving into the what’s, the why’s, the wherefore’s and the when’s of carrying such depraved acts which would hopefully lead to something hands-on.

“Well, I, I’s uumm… do a bit..” Dave wasn’t too sure how to react, things had started getting more than a little slimy between the rolls of his excess stomach where the head of his cock nestled, “‘spose us has a chat dinner time when there ain’t nobody around?”

“Yeah, yeah, good idea,” Luke pushed his glasses back his nose and nodded excitedly, “so is us gonna do it now like?”

Not for the first time did Dave blush. “I thinks I just have!”


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