Chapter 13: The lubricant of choice
Having attended to matters in the only way that any frisky, self-respecting, barely fifteen year old boy could during a prolonged Saturday morning lie-in, Dave was now up in both senses of the word and relatively mobile. In fact he had been sent by his mother on an errand to the infamous Packers corner shop to get some milk and on leaving the shop had literally bumped into Luke who it transpired had also been despatched on a similar mission for a loaf of bread.
“Oh, so yer was sent shopping as well then!” Luke looked at the carton of milk he was clutching. “I gotta get this bleeding loaf.”
“It’s all bollocks innit, why’s I’s gotta do the bleeding shopping I’s thought that’s wot mothers was for, like doing housework and that stuff!” was Dave working up to gain his junior male chauvinist badge at the scouts or was it simply that he was not in a good mood for being made to wear some new clothes?
“Fuck knows, it’s only for a bleeding loaf innit?” replied Luke starting to look Dave up and down. “Hey, yer looks a bit smart, wot’s they, is they new jeans yer got on?”
“Yeah.” replied Dave without showing too much, if any enthusiasm. “Our mum went to that shitty Guptha’s place didn’t she, I’s knows she goes there ‘cause it’s cheap, but bleeding look at ’em, one leg’s about two bloody foot longer than the other!”
“Still they pockets seems to work though don’t they?” Luke grinned and pointed to Dave’s hands which were quite obviously very active inside the pockets.
Dave flushed, decidedly shy when it came to matters of the flesh yet guessing Luke was in a similar situation he tried to be very brave and hoped to further the conversation by letting him into a secret, he lowered his voice. “Don’t yer fucking laugh, but she bought us some new pants and they’s too tight under me balls!”
Luke’s heart skipped a beat, having been sexually liberated only days before when with Kelvin and Bogbrush, he had thought of little else except dreams of communal masturbation since. Consequently he was already wondering if he could persuade the shy Dave to join him in some sort of sexual act however bland to put his newly acquired skills to the test.
“Oh, so is they white or coloured?” he asked casually adjusting his glasses, it seemed to be an appropriate subject with which to prolong the conversation and so keep it on a sexual track.
“They’s a sorta bleeding horrible bluey, greeny colour.” Dave pulled face. “Why can’t us choose me own clothes.”
“Cor, they sounds different, I’s like to see they.” Luke, hoping that by starting to very obviously feel his own growing erection through his pocket, it might bolster the rather blatant invitation.
“Yer really wants to see ’em?”
It had been accepted, Dave looked flushed having noticed the activity and was already halfway to agreeing, for this could be his chance to actually do something, in fact do anything with another boy. Luke was certainly a gentle enough soul to engage with and also someone who Dave guessed, rather like himself was not particularly well endowed or would laugh at him. Besides the possibility of the meeting with Bogbrush the previous afternoon had been postponed till the following week and this could well be a less frenetic introduction.
“Yeah, see I’s only gets them bleeding boring white ones that our mum buys.”
“Wot, do she gets ’em at that shitty Guptha’s place do she?” Dave flushed as he concluded. “See these is so fucking bad I can’t even get me willy out fly hole!”
“Oh, I’d like to see that!” Luke giggled. “Cor, funny that yer can’t get yer willy out!”
“Ah..” Dave continued looking very flushed and focused on Luke’s pockets.
“Anyhow, I thinks mine is Marks and Sparks.. have to see the label I ‘spose and… or yer could read it… if, if yer wanted too..” he paused looking equally flushed, then having just thought of an offer that Dave probably would not want to refuse continued, “so I’s, I’s ‘spose Dave, well, if, if us was to find somewhere maybe us could have a butchers at each others, wot’s think?”
He nodded vigorously. “That be a larf wunnit…but, wot just our pants like?”
“Yeah.. uumm.. so where could us do it?” asked Luke nervously, desperately racking his brains and not wanting to loose the opportunity. “Course, just our pants then..”
“Uumm.. yeah.. did yer means today?” Dave’s mouth was going dry, this was a situation he had often dreamed of and like Luke did not want to pass up on the opportunity, “don’t think our place is any good, ‘cause me brothers about.”
“Yeah today.. uumm.. wot about, well after dinner time, well ‘spose yer comes round to our place?” Luke had already worked out that would give him time for one more orgasm when he got home and he could be recharged and ready to another by early afternoon. “See, our dads working till four and I’s pretty sure our mums gonna go and see our gran in the afternoon so, so.. we’d uumm.. be.. be alone..”
“Well I knows where yer lives, so… uumm.. ‘spose I calls, wot about half-past two?”
Luke’s very hard cock twitched affirmatively. “I ‘spose us could do it couldn’t us?”
“D’yer.. uumm.. well I means, Luke uumm…I’s wondered..” Dave was very unsure of how to phrase the next question, “I means… well d’yer really like looking at boys pants and that then? Have yer done it sorta before with anybody?”
Now it was Luke’s turn to blush and blush he did, Dave had inadvertently discovered his fetish. The truth was Luke was obsessed by underwear and through detailed observation had gleaned enough information to know what each boy in the class wore. Not only that, he was the one who chose to wear traditional white briefs even thought his mother had bought him coloured items which remained unworn.
“Dave, yer won’t say nothing will yer?” Luke looked quite worried.
“Nah, ‘cause see uumm.. now and again I’s looked as well,” mumbled Dave, “I’d better get back, so I’s see yer later then?”
“Yeah.” turning away Luke felt his cock through his pocket, it was wet at the end!
“They’s gone then? ‘cause I see’s the car’s gone?”
“Yeah, only just, anyhow let’s get in me shed quick before bloody Jase comes back,” Kelvin slammed the front door behind Bogbrush and pushed him though the hall and kitchen towards the rear door, “I thinks we got about an hour at most.”
“Talking about Jase, so wot d’say after I went yesterday and he’d found out it were me he was up?”
“Well, bit bleeding surprised, ‘cause he ain’t realised it weren’t me had he?” Kelvin laughed as he bolted the shed door behind them. “But, then said he’d do it again.”
“He would? He weren’t angry like then?” said Bogbrush fiddling excitedly with the button on his jeans. “So’s we could all do again then?”
“Well that’s wot he said and I don’t think he were pissed off or that and uumm.. well I’s means, the little sods now been up two holes and I ain’t even been up one!”
“Well it’s ‘cause yer too willy’s too fucking big ain’t it?”
“Yeah, I ‘spose,” said Kelvin, “and, I’ll tell yer wot else he said, cheeky little git..”
“Wot’s think?” interrupted Bogbrush pushing his jeans down to the floor to expose his erection escaping from the side of some tired pale blue briefs. “Sorry, wot else d’say then?”
“I loves yer cock!” said Kelvin looking down. “Wot else? Oh yeah, he says that yer bum was probably cleaner than mine anyway!”
“D’yer think he was right?” flattered Bogbrush laughed.
“Dunno..” still staring at the blue briefs Kelvin blushed. “Might be, but he shouldn’t bleeding say it!”
“But is it clean? Now?” asked Bogbrush having suddenly realised what the logistical aspect of the act of buggery actually entailed. “I don’t wanna get no shit up the end of me willy, so when’s d’yer last have a bath?”
“Uumm.. oh uumm..” Kelvin stalled knowing full well that Sunday was bath night whether he wanted one or not, today was Saturday.
Unfortunately, lately he had developed a craving for baked beans eaten cold from the tin in his shed, so between that and overdosing on greasy fried onion rings a’ la Doreen, certain intestinal pressures had led to near emergencies of the anal kind. Yet even he had to admit if it weren’t his own bottom, he certainly wouldn’t want to even contemplate going anywhere near it without a pair of Marigold rubber gloves!
“Yer’s a dirty fucker ain’t you,” Bogbrush grinned, lateral thinking had just prevailed, “alright don’t bleeding say nothing then and I’ll pretend it’s clean ‘cause I wants it up yer! Don’t ‘spose yer dirty bum ain’t really gonna make no difference is it?”
“Not really I ‘spose.” he blushed. “Sorry, I’s should have thought about it like.”
“Yeah, well, It’ll wash off won’t it!” joked Bogbrush.
Still blushing Kelvin blinked, this was indeed the sign of a true friendship, yet even so Bogbrush really ought to be wearing said yellow Marigold gloves. “Look Bogs if it helps, I’s found some gert special soapy stuff that we could use then that’ll sorta lube me hole and clean it out while yer does yer thing won’t it?”
“Yeah, good idea. So’s I gotta push a gert lump of soap up it or wot then?” all lateral thinking having been abandoned he grinned, the situation was so typically Kelvin.
“Nah, it’s a sorta jelly stuff, see our dad uses it when he’s got dirty hands and that,” Kelvin looked up to the shelf, “I’s wanked with it so I knows it’s fucking gert slippy stuff like so, so that luvly willy of yer’s will fucking slip up us a treat!”
“Sorta like washing up liquid stuff then is it, sounds alright, yer got it there?”
“Yeah, it’s just the fucking job… hey Bogs, d’yer like me pants?” jeans around his ankles Kelvin stood there in a pair of very tired and slightly too small white briefs that had obviously very recently received a large infusion of semen. “Thought I’d try these, I found ’em in the drawer I thinks they looks a bit like Luke’s don’t ’em?”
“Kelv, you is stupid sod, poor fucking Luke couldn’t make that much cum in a bloody month!” Bogbrush grinned. “When d’yer do that then?”
“When I’s finishing me dinner under the table, I were thinking about yer doing it and I couldn’t help it, don’t think nobody noticed,” he grinned, “see ‘cause our mum was having a good go at our Jase ’cause he’d just upset a cup of bloody tea or something and she were right pissed off, so I does it gert quick under the table while they’s arguing… I pretended it were yer hand in me pocket and all!”
“Yer cum thinking of me like, oh shit!”
For Bogbrush it was something of a turning point for he rightly sensed they were moving into deeper waters from friends to lovers, somehow he managed to refrain from reaching out and kissing him.
“Now don’t get all bloody sloppy now!” Kelvin blushed, every bit as embarrassed and unable to express his feelings.
“Hey, hey is that a hole in the back bit of they white pants?” Bogbrush suddenly pointed, hoping to move away from the tricky subject of emotional involvement so allowing his heart rate to reduce down even if his cock was right up.
“Oh.. fuck, yer noticed,” Kelvin flushed, smiled and flushed, not for the first time had he been anally invaded when wearing the briefs, even if only by a lonely carrot, “it might be.”
“So instead of yer poking yer carrot through it, can I fuck yer though it and wank yer off in ’em so they’s filled with cum?” the inspired guess of anal implement was quite correct and quite a common substitute for a finger or two.
Kelvin’s voice was beginning to crack, he turned away and reached up to the shelf aiming to grab what was currently his lubricant of choice, a tub of Swarfega! “Bogs yer don’t have to fucking ask, just fucking do it… here I’s got that gert slippy, soapy stuff our dad uses, just get some up me hole before I’s cums!”
“Cor, it is gert slippy stuff innit?” said Bogbrush rubbing his fingers together. “Wot’s it called, Swarfega? I never fucking heard of it, feels good though don’t and it’s gotta nice sorta smell, sorta medical like… I wonders if they uses it in fucking hospitals?”
By the time the fingers were lubricated Kelvin was in the time honoured position, leaning against the shed wall and supporting himself on his arms, he looked behind and smiled. “Don’t fucking hurt me will yer, start with a finger and work up like.”
“Just fucking shut up, course I won’t hurt yer and, and..” Bogbrush leant forward and kissed him on his neck, “and.. and.. well just bleeding shut up!”
“I’s told yer not to get all fucking sloppy.” said Kelvin who was doing a very fine imitation of getting very sloppy himself as his hoarse voice immediately confirmed.
“Wot’s going on Kelv, I don’t understand?” croaked Bogbrush from behind, blinking rapidly and unable to rub his eyes since his hands were liberally coated in Swarfega.
“I dunno… we’s felt this before ain’t us… oh fuck, just get started will yer!”
All of three minutes and impaled on two fingers later Kelvin was hopping excitedly around on tiptoe and that wasn’t to say Bogbrush wasn’t exactly excited either! His left hand was pushed down the back of the Kelvin’s briefs, between his buttocks where the fingers working independently had burrowed their way deep inside, well lubricated with excessive dollops of Swarfega or as they termed it, the gert soapy stuff. Everything both inside and out of the white briefs was now smothered in it, Bogbrush’s right hand massaged yet more slippery handfuls all around Kelvin’s pubic region and up the entire length of his quivering shaft leaving the tub virtually empty.
The fact was that Kelvin was so aroused and over excited that he was becoming a gibbering wreck, Bogbrush’s roving hands continued coating all below his waist in a mixture of precum and Swarfega. However, on the plus side the normally repulsive cheesy area around his cockhead had been so rigorously cleansed that all aging deposits had been banished as a testament to the true power of Swarfega.
Bogbrush though was feeling the strain both physically and emotionally, it felt almost as though he were going suddenly burst into tears. His thoughts were to conclude matters in the only way he could which was to smother Kelvin’s neck with kisses, withdraw his three fingers and immediately replace them his aching cock. The seat of the briefs was torn in the process, yet the entry was carried out so swiftly due in part to the abundance of lubricant that Kevin didn’t immediately realise it, although what he did realise was that Bogbrush had brought him to an immense climax.
Understandably Bogbrush’s own orgasm followed very soon after which entailed hammering himself as deep as possible inside Kelvin whilst ejaculating for what seemed several minutes whilst continuing to furiously rub Kelvin’s throbbing organ until he too climaxed for a second time. The strain of it all was too much, Kelvin’s arms began to fold under the strain and unable to take his weight any longer he sank exhausted, slowly to the slippery floor. Fascinated, Bogbrush watched to see his slimy cock twitch when it finally popped out of the gaping hole that was Kelvin’s sphincter and now plainly visible through the seat of ripped briefs.
Only semi-conscious, yet still on a sexual autopilot, Kelvin was lying on his side moaning with one hand inside his sodden briefs trying yet to induce another a climax, only this time his abused cock was refusing to rise fully to the occasion. To Bogbrush it appeared as an invitation not be refused and he dropped to his knees by his side, reinserted his fingers inside the gloriously slimy mess and kissing him on his neck began where he had left off!
All of some two hundred yards away to the west, albeit with a slight bend to the right as a knackered old crow might fly, further sexual activity of a far more timid and genteel kind was under way in another house on the estate.
Surprised on his entry, Dave looked around for it was quite the tidiest house on the estate he had been in, it appeared Luke’s mother kept a tight hold on things. Indeed she did and she didn’t approve of Luke bad grammar or swearing, whereas in fact he only did for effect, for being a little brighter than his peers and with the smarter clothes he felt it made him more acceptable.
“Our mum thought since yer was coming she’d leave a couple of little fucking cake things.” said Luke leading the way through to the sparkling kitchen.
“She do that with all yer mates who comes round then?” asked Dave unaware that it was a rarity for anyone to come round to see the only child, bespectacled Luke.
“Yeah.” he grunted fielding the truth and fiddling with his glasses. “Don’t yer mum?”
“Well.. sorta, but our house can be a bit of tip wot with me messy brother and that.”
“Oh look at they, cor she left ’em all on plate like,” said Luke as he produced a plate with four fairy cakes beautifully arranged, “well help yerself.”
The two cakes were a mere drop in the bucket in relation to Dave’s stomach and immediately disappeared, he looked hopefully at the remaining one.
“Well fucking go on then,” Luke giggled, “one’s enough for I, yer go on and eat it!”
“Luke.. d’yer think, well d’yer thinks I’s a bit fat?” said Dave quietly, standing now so close to the trim Luke that something had touched a nerve.
“Uumm.. well..” Luke smiled, having been well brought up he wondered how to put it tactfully, when the answer was plainly obvious, perhaps a jokey answer might suffice, “I’s have to see yer without yer clothes on to answer that!”
“Alright, if yer promises not to larf…” he flushed, he blushed, he looked at the floor, “yer could help undress me if yer wants!
“Oh… uumm.. oh shit! Well alright if yer wants… I, I promises, I won’t laugh.” Luke was quite taken aback for it seemed Dave really was as desperate as he was for some boy on boy intimacy, the offer was not to be refused.
“Yer can see me pants then as well! I’s still wearing the same ones just for yer.” said Dave awkwardly, then paused before adding with a voice that sounded as though it were now about to crack. “Oh fuck.. Luke.. I don’t knows wot I’s doing… I ain’t never done nothing with nobody before.. oh shit, don’t laugh will yer, promise?”
“Nah, I won’t honest.. uumm… see I’s ain’t done nothing with nobody other than one quick wank.. I.. I’s.. I’s just wanks by meself all the time!”
Luke dried up, the last twenty-four hours had marked quite a change in his life and he knew only too well how it felt to be so shy where it was far easier to refuse a proposition than to accept. For the likes of Kelvin and Bogbrush who were only too happy to display their wares it was almost a daily event, yet for those more of a more conservative nature it really did require an enormous amount of courage where even just the thought of getting changed for games could be very traumatic.
“Oh!” Dave was surprised, but delighted for he had been under quite the opposite impression, as portrayed and fostered by Luke. “But I always thought yer did a bit?”
“Nah,” Luke looked at the table, he blinked behind his glasses, “that’s wot I wants others to think innit ‘cause, ’cause nobody ain’t really asked me.”
“Oh.. fuck..” Dave suddenly did a very surprising thing, albeit very tentatively he put his hand on Luke’s arm. “Well, I don’t know wot we’s gonna do, but lets go up to yer room.. yer can and… well, yer can look at me willy first if yer wants, I knows it ain’t very big, but, but I’s don’t minds cause now I see’s yer shy like wot I’s is!”
Luke was really touched by the offer especially coming from Dave who from his girth would be hard pressed to find anybody else to experiment with, unless he were to turn into some form of rabid sexual exhibitionist overnight.
“Yer looks a bit.. uumm… oh bugger, wot’s I said now?”
“Nothing, yer too fucking nice!” blinking Luke looked up. “Sorry.. it’s just me, don’t worry, come on upstairs quick.”
Having thundered upstairs and been ushered into in the bedroom Dave looked all around to see that it was as clean and tidy as the rest of the house. There were no piles of dirty washing, the bed was made and remarkably there were actually some books on a shelf, even if they were Enid Blyton’s The Famous Five series.
“Cor Luke, is it always like this?” asked Dave. “‘cause our house ain’t very tidy.”
“I ‘spose.” Luke was staring at Dave’s Guptha’s International badly fitting jeans trying to work out if he was erect or not. “Tell us, have yer done it today?”
“Have yer had a wank today?” Luke flushed as he asked the question, then taking a deep breath he unzipped his St Michael jeans. “Dave, look I knows we’s both a bit embarrassed, but lets get on with it before somebody comes back.”
Slowly, Dave nodded. “When I wakes up, I always does… d’yer do it as well?”
“Yeah and.. and I did when got back after meeting yer earlier.. I were so excited!” Luke didn’t know what to do, at first he grinned then went rather red and pushed his glasses back up his nose.
“Oh fuck… is yer hard now, ‘cause I is?”
“Course.” nervously Luke pushed his jeans to the floor to expose his tenting white briefs. “And, I cum in me pants then, thinking of yer wanking in yer’s.”
“Will yer, will yer take me jeans down?” Dave’s voice was rather faint.
Luke immediately waddled over and stood facing Dave, with trembling hand he reached out for the button on the straining waistband. The button soon popped and with the zip pushed quickly down revealed the Guptha International turquoise briefs with contrasting sperm coloured edging.
“Horrible colour ain’t they?” said Dave not really sure what to say next.
“Yeah, I’ll stick with white!” Luke smiled and decided to take control even if it meant behaving like shy eleven year olds. “Listen, I wants to feel yer willy, so yer gonna feel mine and then we’s gonna pull our pants down and have a look at each others.”
“We is?” Dave gulped.
“Yeah, ready… go!”
For all his reticence Dave soon had hold the front of Luke’s briefs and was happily groping around trying to ascertain if his cock were actually smaller and amazingly enough it appeared to be of a similar size.
“Right, pull ‘em down and let’s have a look.” Luke excitedly made a grab at the waistband of Dave’s briefs.
“Yer won’t laugh?” Dave’s question was too late for his erection was already on display nestling in the generous folds of his stomach.
Inches away Luke pushed his glasses back up his nose as he studied Dave’s offering. “Looks like we’s got the same size.”
“We have? We is?” stuttered Dave, who was so shy that he hadn’t dare look to see what Luke had, instead he had mentally geared himself up to be in possession of the smallest organ.
“Yeah,” smiling Luke looked up, “I ain’t laughing at yer, have a look yerself.”
“Oh,” Dave nervously looked down, whilst neither broached the five inch mark he was delighted, his years of penile paranoia had just been dispelled, “oh fuck!”
“So shall us wank each other or do our own?” Luke’s hand trembled as it reached out. “‘cause we’d better get on with it before somebody comes home.”
“Uumm..” Dave’s middle name was indecision. “Do our own… maybe this time?”
“Be easier wunnit, but when yer’s about to cum pull yer pants up, ‘cause yer’ll enjoy walking about with ’em all sticky!” Luke grinned. “Let’s get started.”
Meanwhile all of some two hundred yards away to the east, albeit with a slight bend to the left as another knackered old crow might fly, things were neither looking nor feeling too good for Kelvin and Bogbrush who were in a very, very sticky situation.
The banging on the shed door finally roused the incumbents, the aurae of buggery now a distant memory along with their collapse onto the shed floor.
“Is yer in there wanking again Kelv?”
“Fucking hell! It’s fucking Jase innit!” cried Bogbrush shaking himself awake.
“Fucking wot?” grunted Kelvin, who it has to be said was in a far worse state and feeling sexually debilitated like never before.
“I can hear yer in there, yer two’s been wanking again ain’t yer?”
“For fucks sake Jase, bleeding shut up!” cried Bogbrush scrabbling to get to his feet and heading for the door. “Don’t tell whole bleeding estate!”
Kelvin was only now opening his eyes, he looked around. “Oh no… oh fuck!”
“Jase, I’s opening the fucking door so just shut up before yer tells the whole bleeding neighbourhood!”
Jason stood there grinning, this time he really had caught them at it. A fact very easily confirmed by the trouserless Bogbrush and Kelvin still on the floor in his torn underpants with everything around splattered with spunk and Swarfega.
“Have yer been fucking him?” he asked excitedly, his hand was already down the front of his jeans.
Bogbrush didn’t know what to do. “If yer ever tells anybody wot yer seen, us’ll fucking murder yer!”
“Yer’s been up our Kelv then has yer?” Jason’s hand quickened.
Before he could reply there came a large groan from Kelvin who by some miracle had managed to crawl to the vertical and was leaning against the wall. Looking very much the worse for wear, his normally proud erection a mere wrinkled painful shadow of it’s former glory, the torn briefs sagging under the weight of Swarfega now tinted a strange green colour.
Even Bogbrush looked alarmed when he saw him. “Fuck! Yer looks fucking awful!”
“I feels fucking awful,” agreed Kelvin, “I thinks there’s something wrong with me…”
“With yer wot?” asked Bogbrush unsure whether to be sympathetic or laugh.
Kelvin’s reply came by way of extreme anal flatulence. “Me bum!”
“Yer bumhole?” enquired Jason with superb timing before collapsing in laughter.
“Fuck! Did that hurt yer bum?” asked Bogbrush, now unable not to laugh?
The truth was far simpler, the pot of Swarfega ingested anally was in fact a very stringent enema and having had a few minutes to work was now working, fast. Extremely fast in fact.
They watched in amazement as Kelvin face contorted through the full spectrum from deathly white, to sweaty pink and finally to a look of absolute horror. Grabbing at his pimply buttocks to the strains of further uncontrollable postern blasts he looked wildly around in horror. “Fuck… oh fuck… I’m gonna shit meself I needs the bog!”
“Bleeding hell!” said Jason. D’yer think it’s they fucking beans he’s always eating?”
Bogbrush glanced at Jason who still appeared to be rubbing himself, for a moment they both stared in amazement, they both burst out laughing as the hapless Kelvin suddenly rushed out of the shed towards the house without his jeans, the briefs falling down and being left on the path behind him as he ran.
“Oh shit! D’yer think he’ll make it to the bog?” asked Jason.
“Dunno, I hopes so or he’ll make a bleeding gert mess on the stairs!” Bogbrush laughed.
“Ooh shit!” Jason giggled.
“Anyway’s, so wot happened to yer football?”
“Ah, the bleeding ball were half flat and Billie weren’t there, so I thought sod it like!”
“Oh,” there was glint in Bogbrush’s eye, “yer cock ain’t flat though is it?”
For a moment Jason flushed, then he grinned and looked beneath Bogbrush’s shirt. “Nah, and yer’s ain’t neither is it?”
“Nah, he’ll be in the bog for a bit won’t he, so why don’t yer toss me off quick like?”
“Yer won’t tell him will yer?”
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