Bog Off
by Tom


Chapter 9: Enter Byron

Not far from Cockburn Rise, the home of the infamous Twerks family and only a couple crumbling streets distant at Winkleton Crescent the Woodcock family were in residence. Surprisingly, even being such a short distant apart on the estate neither knew of the others existence, the Woodcock’s being ignorant of the Twerks and vice versa. Although, factually speaking the sad truth was the whole lot of them might be said to be pretty just ignorant of anything in general!

Byron Woodcock was just as his name implied, very cock orientated and essentially wooden in the brain department. In fact, as thick as the proverbial two short planks. Coming from what might be described as the less salubrious part of the council sponsored area of the town, his family pedigree ensured that both parents and his two older brothers had all left the very same secondary school at fifteen without any form of qualification whatsoever. Quite naturally, not wishing to break with academic family tradition Byron also attained absolutely zilch, in fact minus zilch and followed in their clumsy footsteps by being at sixteen gainfully unemployed.

However, the others of the household had all eventually found full time employment, if only menial labouring work, so even by the lowly benchmark of family intelligence the young Byron was obviously lacking several key brain cells, drive and was bereft of all of ambition. As yet he was still to set a foot on what for him would be a very short ladder of employment, for the truth was he far preferred to spend the entire day in bed doing naughty things to himself and wallowing around in his own sticky, congealing bodily fluids.

With Byron’s father, Sean coming from a decidedly lapsed Catholic background it was no great surprise that Byron had several uncles, one of which was the notorious and rarely mentioned uncle Reg. No one had been surprised when he had been apprehended and removed from circulation by the long arm of the law for having yet again been caught doing things he shouldn’t with a fourteen year old boy in a public toilet. Nevertheless, even if he were currently unavailable, a few years back the nine year old Byron had been lucky enough to be the recipient of many, many hours of explicit hand’s on grooming from his doting uncle. With that sort of experience literally behind him, not to mention having also been introduced to several of Reg’s more intimate friends, there was absolutely no doubt Byron could and would rise to any occasion desperately wanting to follow in his uncle’s footsteps.

Consequently by the tender age of eleven Byron lacked the even merest vestige of anal virginity and that didn’t include the action packed forays of uncle Reg’s roving digits nor anything that his older siblings would frequently require him to do, with or without his consent! Although technically speaking, he had lost his virginity when he very willingly succumbed to the sexual perversions of three exudating fourteen year old boys behind the back of the junior school cycle sheds one gloomy October afternoon after school. On walking rather gingerly back home that afternoon with a rosy glow around his rosebud and an excess sperm fairly slithering down between his legs he had realised where his destiny lay, between his buttocks!

Life was never going to be easy and he certainly didn’t help himself, for by the time he became a teenager his preferred diet was essentially fast food and sex. That had reaped it’s own rewards since he was no longer the attractive, slim prepubescent boy, but a rather short, portly, not to say fat youth with a fine selection of yellow headed pustules adorning his bumfluff stricken face. And, if good looks were in short supply then it was fair to say his cup certainly did not runneth over, more that his bucket overfloweth when it came to items appertaining to organs of pleasure.

For some unknown reason, whilst the rest of male fraternity in the Woods household were intact and generally well endowed in the penile department, Byron had been the subject of a very uncatholic and blunt knife shortly after birth. Very sadly, what should have been a simple procedure had not been the greatest surgical success for what would have surely been an organ commensurate to the proportions of his siblings it was not to be. Fate and the aforesaid blunt knife had cruelly transformed the baby Byron’s latent sexual life, for during the operation he managed to loose both length and foreskin. Left with a truncated shaft and topped with a large and strange bulbous head, his older brother Dwayne, no mean onanist himself, would take quite an interest in it usually around bedtime. Yet the upside of the unfortunate deformation was that uncle Reg was equally fascinated by it’s strange appearance and very often decided to kiss it better whether or not it needed such attention!

The upshot of it all was that despite a constant longing for his anal cavity to be filled, Byron’s future as an attractive, highly paid rent boy for the more discerning gentleman of the parish was without doubt, quite dead in the water. His future even at a modest sixteen was essentially as a spotty, fat slut with a novelty cock offering paid favours at rock bottom rates around the local cottages. Still, he did enjoy the flexitime aspect of his work and obtained considerable on the job experience.

Despite the family’s lowly intelligence they were very proud that they all worked hard and were continually nagging Byron to get some sort of job. His mother, Crystal had a part-time morning job at the local supermarket, Sean his father was a fully fledged refuse collector and Byron’s eldest brother Dwayne was a council labourer married to Charlene who’s fate was to produce innumerable screaming babies. Still living at home Warren was two years older than Byron, but even the compulsive masturbator that he was, he couldn’t compete with Byron’s ejaculatory prowess, having once compared his younger brother’s orgasmic capability as to that of a pump action shotgun!

Warren was absolutely addicted to girls and amassed a huge collection soiled girly type panties having retained a pair from every one of his sordid couplings from when he had started at the age of ten! Incredibly oversexed, he travelled out of the city for nearly six miles to work each day as a farm labourer, his libido was such that on a daily basis he would inseminate a handy hedge or barn wall at least once, usually twice. Lately though he had decided the journey was well worth making for he had now discovered the wonderful world of animal husbandry and if precariously balanced on a tree stump in a very secluded corner of the paddock where a certain young mare was stabled his testicular pressures could quickly be relieved!

All that aside, if Byron’s proud father had the thought for one moment just how his number three son was managing to keep himself in cigarettes and numerous take-away meals the outcome would undoubtedly be very painful and he would certainly be hospitalised for some time!

But, the concept of work was just not in Byron’s character so on that fateful morning having awoken early at around half past nine and absolutely bursting for a pee he knew he just had to get up, either that or wet the bed. As ever the entire family were out at work, so sitting on the edge of the bed contemplating the strong aroma of unwashed adolescence he kicked off his spunk stained pyjama trousers and tottered off towards the bathroom rubbing his misshapen organ on the way. There was no washing or teeth cleaning in his daily morning toilet ritual, it consisted solely of urinating over everything except the toilet and then returning to his disgusting bedroom, usually masturbating as he went and frequently contemplating fingering his bottom. The first orgasm of the day never took very long and he invariably timed it so he could ejaculate over the bedclothes or the pillow on his immediate return.

Getting dressed couldn’t be simpler. Having discovered the sartorial elegance of a baggy T-shirt and tracksuit trousers he would wear the same pair for days on end without any underwear, the rational being that it made it so easy to pull them down and immediately make his teenage wares available for fee paying clients. After a few days the clothes were so obviously coated with stains of unmentionable provenance that Crystal, who amazingly still cared what he looked like was liable to explode and that in turn would set Sean off as well.

Whilst consuming a vast cholesterol free bacon sandwich Byron’s daily routine would include trying to make a vague plan for the day or more accurately, to decide where he might stand the best chance of finding a likely punter seeking basic sexual favours. There were plenty of such visitors from the other side of the town who, hoping for anonymity were drawn to visiting the local cottages and would be only too pleased to be tossed or sucked off for the price of a packet of cigarettes. In fact, some peculiar folk were very attracted to Byron simply because of a total lack of personal hygiene and his disgusting habits so that return visits were not entirely unheard off. Rarely would he refuse a request for sexual deviancy even for a minimal amount of cash, the biggest problem being where to perform if the client were actually desperate enough to want to probe the wobbly, smelly heap of unwashed flesh.

With the decision made and the sun was shining he set off to walk to the nearest cottage, which being adjacent to a car park was very often productive especially if there were delivery drivers about. However, on his arrival he was very disappointed to see that the place was virtually empty and so turned his attention to the toilet itself, playing with himself through his bottomless pocket as he walked slowly inside. Finding the building was quite deserted he mooched around looking in the various cubicles, finally ending up in his favourite one which had a good view of the entrance and urinals if the door was left slightly ajar. With very little else to occupy his minimal mental capacity there was only one thing he could do to pass the time whilst waiting very hopefully for his first customer and that was obviously to start slowly masturbating.

Not that he intended to climax immediately, it was more of a comforting ritual and something he knew could go on for quite some time even if he did produce a lot of precum. That was confirmed some ten minutes later with the inside of his tracksuit trousers a slimy mess and the outside displaying a large wet spot where the head of his cock constantly rubbed. It was to be another five minutes before the entrance door would slowly open with a squeak from the rusty hinges and allow Byron to peer out from the gloom of the cubicle to see who it was.


Kelvin was having problems that morning, predictably self-induced. Fuelled by Luke and Bogbrush’s visit after school the previous evening he couldn’t stop thinking about what they had done and had to creep off to the bathroom three times during the evening television to attend to matters. Even by bedtime he was still very much aroused with visions of Luke in his white briefs, so back in his own room with an indestructible bed he descended into a positive orgy of self-abuse aided by the handcream from the garden shed. Masturbating well into the small hours until he could ejaculate no more and his cock was too sensitive to touch he fell into an exhausted asleep such that would virtually guarantee sleeping through any alarm.

There was though a high price to pay for the final dribbles of semen that he had wrung out of his aching testicles at gone two in the morning. The first repayment demand coming by way of Doreen bursting into his room screaming that the time to get up was long past and he was due shortly at the surgery. With no sign of life she pulled the covers off to reveal his ever throbbing erection along with the selection of anal toys that he had slept with and was, quite unsurprisingly far from impressed.

Breathing smoke, but luckily no fire she continued to rant as he shambled into life, eventually managing to gobble down a piece of cold toast and prepare to escape the house in the direction of the surgery. Sadly though his troubles didn’t end there, for the discovery that he was short of the vital right hand trouser pocket and thus unable to comfort his sore cock was a latent disaster in itself. However, knowing the fragile state of his cock he had the foresight to at least put the handcream into his bag for use later.

Leaving Doreen still ranting on the doorstep the brothers headed off with Kelvin in a state of panic and Jason highly amused, unable to wait to tell his friends of the latest hysterical instalment. Despatched in the direction of the surgery under pain of death not to ruin his new trousers until he had at least seen the doctor Kelvin walked painfully along discovering his left hand was nowhere as effective at comforting his estranged cock as was the right one!

Although running a little late the doctors appointment was for Kelvin in solo mode a major success, he appeared clutching a prescription for some magic foot ointment guaranteed to cure his rotting feet. Then, after leaving the surgery and going in the newsagents he bought himself a tin of Coke as a treat for so bravely going to the doctor all on his own. Walking slowly it didn’t take long to consume nor to percolate though his system, so desperate for a pee and the chance to gently massage some more handcream into his exceedingly sore cock he noticed the public toilet sign and quickly headed off.

Having always been warned about the dangers of being caught in a public toilet he nervously entered listening out for any signs of life whilst looking all around. The thought of being accosted by the traditional stereotype of an old man in a long dirty raincoat was a scary thought. However, he was relieved to hear no signs of life and see that the place looked deserted, with all three cubicles having their doors ajar he simply assumed there was nobody about.

The urinal itself was one of the more modern stainless steel ones without any of the partitions that the older white porcelain types had, which in turn meant there was no privacy for the more timid user. However, since thinking he was the only one in the place that aspect didn’t worry him unduly as he stood in front the steel trough and undid his trousers, not just the zip but the clasp as well. His idea was to open them and pull his Guptha’s International underpants below his balls so allowing his aching erection to spring to attention and thus pee without any restriction. At which point he would be in the perfect position to smother the long suffering organ in restorative handcream.

The sight of Kelvin standing there and allowing his more than ample, angry looking cock to spray pee vertically into the air was a sight that really turned Byron on, not least since his tracksuit bottoms had now been around his ankles for some time. Whilst he may not have worn underwear for sheer convenience when actively cottaging in public toilets, that was not to say that he didn’t like it, quite the contrary in fact as he had always taken an interest in what his clients wore. His fetish went back to school where he had stolen innumerable items from the changing rooms to smell and masturbate over, so the spectacle of Kelvin who’s unfastened trousers were now exposing his one-size-fits-all red striped Guptha’s International economy briefs had him very excited.

Urination completed, Kelvin began inspecting his glowing cock which quite naturally entailed considerable manipulation of the foreskin to the point where he became oblivious to his surroundings. Much thought would be required as to where exactly he should apply the handcream, the logical and most satisfying answer seemed to be to squirt a very large dollop over the twitching head and gently massage any excess over the shaft so it would also benefit from the beneficial healing qualities.

Watching from behind the cubicle door, for Byron it had now become an extremely erotic sight, Kelvin was a teenager and offered a total contrast to the usual public toilet clientele that he entertained. In the main they were far older men who viewed Byron as a fat plaything, who for a small fee really didn’t seem to care what services he performed or received and appeared almost proud that part of his allure was a total lack of personal hygiene.

With his eyes tightly closed, having applied the requisite cream Kelvin was already deeply engrossed in massaging it over his twitching genitalia unaware that Byron was silently waddling forward, hand on cock and his tracksuit trousers around his ankles. He stood beside Kelvin listening to the very familiar noises as the hand so generously slicked with lotion moved rapidly up and down the thick shaft as drips of lotion fell onto the briefs below. Kelvin’s original idea of a very simple massage to help his sore cock had just been upgraded, he was now working towards a fully fledged orgasm and using the wonderfully balmy, scented handcream as lubricant.

Byron released his grip and looked at his hand where thanks to the sight of Kelvin an excess of precum was already very much in evidence. Leaning over he took a close look at Kelvin’s very sturdy offering which in comparison to his own desperately abused and misshapen offering appeared to be the perfect specimen and Byron wanted it. He really wanted it, inside him!

“Look kid, don’t just wank and waste all yer cum, yer can fuck me if you wants right now!”

Kelvin carried on masturbating thinking the voice must have been in his imagination, yet it didn’t quite sound like either Bogbrush or even Luke who had now joined in the well lubricated fantasy.

“Fuck,” said Byron to himself, “he’s away to the fucking fairies!”

A podgy, grubby, sweaty hand, sticky precum reached over and very tentatively took hold of Kelvin’s hand as it moved up and down.

“Fuck!” shrieked Kelvin and tried to move back, despite the slippery mix of precum and lotion the hand somehow managed to keep it’s hold as he opened his eyes and looked wildly around.

“It’s alright kid, I won’t fucking hurt yer, I just wants to wank with yer!”

“Fuck.. wot the fuck… who the fuck.. oh fuck! Fuck!” Kelvin’s vocabulary had always been limited and this encounter confirmed it. “Oh fuck!”

Convinced his heart had momentarily stopped yet was now beating so hard it was going to explode he turned positively white with fright when he finally focused on his short, fat assailant. The truth was that under no circumstances could Byron ever appear menacing, let alone at that particular moment standing next to Kelvin, clutching at his deformed drooling cock with his trousers around his ankles. Not sure how to handle the situation he simply grinned inanely to show that his yellow teeth matched the yellow heads of the choice pustules that adorned most of his face.

“It’s alright kid, just fucking calm down.”

“Who the fuck are yer… wot the fuck yer doing here?” reiterated Kelvin trying to assert himself, which with a cock covered in scented handcream was rather difficult.

“Look kid, I just come in for wank and saw yer fucking at it, so’s I thought we’s could have a wank together like.”


“Oh, fuck I dunno! Oh fuck!” Kelvin took a second look, there was undoubtedly something about Byron’s exposed drooping stomach and deformed cock that appealed in a rather repulsive way. “Leggo me hand, I ain’t gonna fucking run off.”

“Yer got a gert luvly nice gert cock,” cooed Byron quite determined Kelvin was not going to escape without offering some sort of favour, “look mine ain’t nowhere’s as big or pretty as yer’s is it?”

“Oh fuck! Nah it ain’t!” exclaimed Kelvin somewhat too honestly, if uncharitably on taking Byron at his word and peering down for a good look. “Wot’s that funny gert red knob thing at the end? Where’s yer fucking end bit gone?”

“Well it’s me fucking knob end innit!” said Byron slightly annoyed at having his cock insulted even though he had asked for it. “Well fucking go on, get hold of it and give it a quick wank!”

“Cor fuck, yer ain’t got no pants on!” added Kelvin looking up into Byron’s spotty face and totally missing the absurdity of the entire situation.

“Oh, ain’t I’s?”

“Don’t yer wear ’em, that’s a bit nawty innit wot’s yer mum say?” it was a ridiculous comment. Byron looked at Kelvin’s spunk stained red striped Guptha’s International briefs and decided maybe he was better off without after all!

“Ah.. I forgot today.” lied Byron convincingly, thinking just how delightfully naive Kelvin was. “Look kid, never mind me fucking pants, just give us a nice gert rub while yer’s got that slippy wanking stuff on yer hand!”

The temptation of handling a different cock was too much especially after the previous evening with Luke, so grabbing hold of Byron’s offering the layer of handcream protected Kelvin from the revoltingly sticky feel of the hot flesh.

“D’you wanna fuck me?” Byron repeated his earlier question after allowing Kelvin to start a rhythm and quickly extract more than a blob or two or precum.

“Wot?” Kelvin blushed, was it really true what he had heard about the way two men fucked? Then again it must be, thoughts of Jason buggering him reminded him it must be true. “Wot’s mean?”

His innocence was obvious to Byron and he needed encouragement. “Yer knows yer wanking me so well kid, almost fucking feels like when I does it to meself!”

“Really?” it was a middle class reply if ever there was one. “Fuck! Do it really?”

“Yeah, fucking really,” Byron grinned, one hand behind his back running a finger up and down his own sweaty crack, “don’t y’see yer that yer so fucking good at it I’s reckons yer’d be fucking brilliant at screwing me.”

“Wot, wot.. yer mean,” stuttered Kelvin who was about to confirm how naive he really was, “I puts me willy up yer bumhole?”

“Yeah, yer luvly gert willy,” Byron nodded, adding to hopefully entrap Kelvin, “‘spect you done it a few times before at school or some place ain’t yer?”

“Ah..” now very flushed Kelvin looked away down to Byron’s strange cock and the vast amount of precum that was flowing from the truncated end and over his hand to drip on the dirty floor.

“Well yer was gonna wank anyway and having a good fuck’s a lot more fun innit?” Byron smiled encouragingly this time displaying the full, crooked assortment of yellow teeth and numerous latent fillings. “And, yer’s still hard and yer’s still got all that fucking slippy wanking stuff on yer cock, so yer all ready, yeah?”

“Uumm.. “ Kelvin gulped, there seemed no way he could escape, yet did he want to escape? The thought of going to school and telling Bogbrush he had really fucked a strange boy in a strange public toilet would give him tremendous street credibility!

“Let’s get in there then,” Byron spoke as he waddled smartly off towards the open cubicle door, “I’s lean against the wall and yer can give us a gert good seeing too!”

Despite still not entirely sure what a good seeing too was or even if what he was doing the right thing or even if he knew what to do. Kelvin followed him inside very carefully holding his trousers up with his one clean hand having miraculously, thus far managed to keep them stain free. Inside, in the gloom Byron was already in position with his arms outstretched taking the weight of his considerable body, his short fat legs slightly apart and his very large bottom ready and waiting, yet had the entrance not been obscured by so much fat it could almost have been seen pouting.

“Is yer’s gonna finger us up a bit first or is yer gonna get ‘un straight up?”

“Finger?” Kelvin nervously looked down at his cock, which considering the unusual circumstances was surprisingly still hard. “Wot.. wot’s mean.. finger yer a bit?”

“That’s a good joke innit… yer knows just wot I means,” said Byron enthusiastically hoping to keep the virgin Kelvin focused and not let him escape, “just get a finger or two in and loosen me hole a bit, like yer do to yerself at home, yer got yer lube stuff there ain’t yer?”

“Oh, wot! Put me finger up yer bum?” Kelvin sounded horrified. “But.. is it clean?”

“Wot! Is it clean!” exclaimed Byron in mock disbelief, now beginning to think that to get the obviously very, very nervous Kelvin to perform was not going to be quite that easy. “Course it’s fucking clean kiddo, wot’s think I is some sorta dirty git!”

“Nah.. no.. course not!” mumbled Kelvin, not realising that whatever he said could ever insult Byron, who was always desperate for anal activity no matter how grim the circumstances, “I’ll, uumm..  I’ll put some stuff on me finger then.”


“Good, ‘cause I hopes they’s clean an all!” Byron smiled to himself, knowing he hadn’t had a bath for well over a week and that matters were considerably less than sanitary. “Uumm.. say maybe’s a couple of fingers?”

“Oh, wot two?”

“Yeah, get yer first finger slippy then,” Byron turned to see that Kelvin was fiddling with the handcream, “hey, the why don’t yer sorta press up against me and get yer cock going up and down me crack while yer does that, then when yer’s ready yer’s can get yer finger straight up like.”

Tentatively, in fact very tentatively Kelvin lowered himself against Byron, finding that his cock immediately found itself in the hot and unwashed confines between the more than ample buttocks which being so ample almost closed right over it. It wasn’t at all as Kelvin had imagined it, for whilst a new and very strange sensation it was nevertheless a most enjoyable feeling, in fact very similar to lying on his spunk impregnated revoltingly squishy cushion!

“Now, grab hold me buns and open and close ’em a bit, but keep yer cock moving and get yer fucking finger in there as well!”


It took Kelvin a few moments to translate the request, for it was a lot to digest at once. However, he was soon groping and grappling with the clammy, very flabby buttocks and judging by Byron’s grunts was doing a very good job. Although as yet he had not having quite summoned up the courage to plunge his finger inside.

“D’yer wants me to, to keep doing it for a bit then… ‘cause I’s thinks I’s might cum soon!” asked Kelvin not wishing to ruin his very first coupling with an unfortunate case of premature ejaculation.

“Fuck, yeah! Why don’t yer have a look at me hole if yer wants, while yer get’s yer fingers in,” the mountain of sweaty flesh wobbled as Byron giggled, “see if it’s big enough for ‘em!”

Being too nervous Kelvin missed the joke, slowly he stood back and looked down into the gloom of the crevasse formed between the two enormous white spotty globes. Prising the wobbly flesh apart he peered closer, very luckily he was unable to see very much and even luckier in that the sweet smell of handcream blotted out the fairly toxic Aroma of Byron’s Unwashed Bum.

“I can’t see much, it’s a bit dark innit?”

“Well run yer finger up and down, yer’ll soon find me hole again!”

“It’s clean innit?”

“Just fucking said that didn’t us, yer could eat yer dinner off it if yer wanted! Now just fucking push it in!”

It was very lucky it was dark and that Kelvin couldn’t see what he was doing or he certainly wouldn’t have done it! Yet, if he hadn’t done it he would never have known what he was missing for with little effort he pushed the finger past the entrance, very quickly getting so carried away prodding and poking when he inserted a third finger that even Byron had to call a halt!

“Yer a dirty little sod, I can tell yer’s done a gert load of bumming ‘cause yer fucking good at it!”

“I’s is?” Kelvin beamed at the praise.

“Yeah, yer fucking loving it ain’t yer, so now get yer fucking gert cock up there and with yer other hand reach round me and wank us off before I cums! Be quick mind ‘cause I’s can’t hold on much longer.”

Byron was genuinely excited, the thought of being rogered by a younger boy instead of some much older hairy, overweight, balding hairy man had him dribbling precum.

To Kelvin it was another world, his cock sliding in and out, firmly gripped by Byron’s extremely well rehearsed sphincter. Forcing himself into the wobbly great buttocks at the end of each thrust, his arm barely reached around the folds of Byron’s ample stomach to grab at the distorted head and once having taken hold he found Byron  wasted no time in starting to ejaculate. Understandably, the quivering sensation of Byron’s cock sending cascades of hot spunk over Kelvin’s hand was more than enough to cause him to begin ejaculating himself, not that either could have held on for much longer anyway.

Like many things in life in less than a minute it was all over, as was Byron’s colossal discharge which now dripped from Kelvin hand and down onto his red striped briefs below.

“Yer fucking good at that kiddo!” said Byron knowing one when he saw one.

“Am I? Oh fuck, is it always like that?” gasped Kelvin, his voice husky.

Inside Byron, Kelvin’s cock glowed in pride. Not only that, for now it had climaxed he realised on pulling it out of it’s disgustingly slippery home with a plopping sound that it still really hurt. In the darkness he was unaware how awful he now looked having collected more than a splattering of spunk and other collective anal detritus, he lent back against the wall feeling elated yet exhausted both mentally and physically.

“Yeah, sometimes it’s always like that.” replied Byron hoping to entice Kelvin back for second helping. He pulled his tracksuit trousers back up ignoring the flow of semen dripping from his cock and bottom, he turned to Kelvin. “Wot’s yer name?”

“Kelvin, why?”

“Wanna do it again then Kelv, oh .. oh shit… but, not tomorrow ‘cause I’ll be busy with market day,” he looked at Kelvin who was trying unsuccessfully to examine his omnipresent erection in the gloom, “wot about one day next week, us could meet yer again if yer wants?”

“Uumm.. yeah, I really wants too, but I’s got school ain’t I?”

“Oh, yer at school then?”

“Well course I is, I’s got me fucking blazer ain’t I?” he replied whilst continuing to examine his mighty organ and retract the foreskin. “Oh fuck it … I think there’s something got stuck under me end!”

“Be alright.” said Byron quickly, experience having told him it could be anything!

“Oh, so wot’s yer name then?” said Kelvin giving up the inspection and wiping his hand across his shirt.


“Wot sorta bleeding names that, I’s never heard of that!”

“It’s me fucking name innit? But yer could call us Dipstick if yer wants when yer comes back!”

“Fuck! That sounds like a car outside!” exclaimed Kelvin immediately pulling his trousers up and looking at the door. “I don’t wanna be caught! I gotta fucking go!”

“Well piss off quick then,” said Byron totally unphased, already thinking it might be a paying customer and he’d be ready lubricated if it was anything more than a hand job, “well go on fuck off, I’ll be alright… hey, but when’s I see yer again then?”

“I ‘spose.. could do Sunday morning maybe if it ain’t too early like.. I could bring me mate, he’s got a big ‘un as well look, I gotta fucking go or I’s be late!” Kelvin’s voice tailed off as he rushed out the door before Byron could usefully reply. “About eleven or something, but I ain’t sure if us can, mind.. I’ll try and let yer knows shall us?”

“Oh shit, fucking Sunday morning?” said Byron to himself, then after a few moments thought. “Still.. if he brings his mate, but we’d need to find somewhere proper, don’t wanna be caught in here… where the fuck could us go?”

“Uumm…” Kelvin made a dash for the door. “I’s gotta fucking go!”

“Yer can always leave us note in this place, others do!” he called out as Kelvin shot out the door.

It was only when outside in the sunshine that Kelvin realised what a state he must have looked, especially the dark streaks of something disgusting that were across the front of his once clean shirt. Inadvertently spreading Byron’s spunk all over his clothes in the rush to get out certainly hadn’t helped and he found himself having to walk very oddly. The inside his briefs felt awash with semen, his cock slid around feeling very sore and itchy as he walked, besides there really was something trapped under his foreskin that felt like a brick! The only saving grace was that having his new trousers pulled down for the entire debacle any extraneous fluids that had fallen to earth had landed on the inside and so he hoped not be visible.

Outside in the carpark a large white delivery van had appeared, walking round from the drivers door heading for toilet was the driver, an older man smoking a cigarette. Stopping on seeing Kelvin with his bulging trousers he smiled as he looked him up and down, wondering if he had come out to greet him.

“Hello kid, are you the one that me mate met when he was here the other day? He said you were here looking for trade, but he didn’t say you was all dressed up like!”

“Wot?” Kelvin looked at him blankly. “The one wot?”

“Oh… sorry kid, must be my mistake!” he smiled and continued quickly towards the toilet.

Kelvin looked behind to see him enter the toilet and then ran, he’d had quite enough of public toilets for one morning!


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