26th March 2002: Stag nights are fascinating things and it seems that they’re an occasion among otherwise straight friends where gay activities are not only allowed but encouraged. It’s the groom-to-be’s last night of freedom and it often seems that pretty much anything goes! This story results from many a fantasy I’ve had on various stag nights I’ve been to about what might happen after the groom and best man stagger back from the pub.
As far as I’m concerned, straight guys like having sex with other men just as much as gay guys do. They just won’t admit it. Otherwise, for all intents and purposes, I’m convinced that there’s little to separate the two types of men.
Take my cousin, Josh, for example. He’s a pretty typical straight guy coming from a middle-class background. Captain of his university rugby team, boyfriend to a thick and fast succession of girls, before meeting and moving in with one of them and then, at twenty five, marrying her. Totally straight, reassuringly conventional. Kids planned, no doubt, for when Rachel is ready to put her career on hold. You know the routine.
But even Josh, with his rugby songs about tits and jokes about him being able to convert lesbians at fifty paces, had a liking for something a bit alternative. And I found that out the night before he got married.
I was seventeen and he’d come to stay at our house. He was living with his fiancee in a flat in North London, but his parents insisted that, for the sake of tradition, he should be away from her for the night before the wedding. Since our house was just ten miles or so from their flat, he asked if he could bunk up with us for the night. No problems at all.
His parents, my uncle and aunt, had travelled down to London for the wedding and were sleeping in the spare room, so Josh had to take the sofa.
The day before the wedding, he turned up with his satchel and his mate from university who was going to act as his best man. They came to our house in the middle of the afternoon to drop off their stuff before heading off for a last night of drunkenness together. Josh introduced his mate, Masey, to my mum and dad with a comment about Masey being sensible and staying single while Josh was going to become, as he put it, “supposedly respectable”.
My mother laughed but my dad seemed quite flustered by the surprise of Josh having a friend with him to stay. He asked where Masey was going to sleep.
Josh waved the question aside dismissively. “He’s brought a sleeping bag. He’ll sleep on the floor.”
My dad said, “We’ve got a camp bed. Does he want that?”
Masey just stood there, apparently unable to answer questions for himself.
Josh said, “Yeah whatever. The state we’ll be in when we get back, I don’t think he’ll really notice, though…”
The two of them laughed and went out for the night. My dad snorted: Josh had never been his favourite nephew.
During the evening meal, my uncle apologised to my dad for not mentioning that Masey – his name was Ian Masefield, but he generally got called Masey – was coming.
My mother said, “It’s not a problem. I just wish we had another room for him to sleep in -”
My dad interrupted, “Josh had better make sure his sleeping bag’s pretty tightly zipped up…” He laughed loudly.
My uncle smiled. “Come on, Jim. We never actually found out about that…”
My brother Gareth looked puzzled. I wasn’t too sure what was going on either. Gareth asked, “Found out about what?”
My dad said, “Josh once said that Masey was coming on to him – you know -” He grinned and raised his eyebrows mischievously.
My uncle was not amused. “Jim – that was five or six years ago. Nothing ever came of it – even if Ian is gay, the two of them clearly worked it out…”
Gareth looked shocked. “Masey’s gay?”
My aunt chipped in, “We don’t know that, Gareth. Don’t say anything.” Then she turned on my dad, her eyes quite angry. “Jim, that’s all forgotten about now. You shouldn’t have mentioned it. Not just before the wedding.”
My dad laughed. “I’m not saying anything happened between those guys…”
My aunt was still angry. She snapped, “Just drop it. Our Joshua will have a wife tomorrow. It’s not fair to dredge things up like that…”
My dad kept laughing but he was clearly embarrassed. “Jesus. I was just joking, Pauline.”
My aunt snapped, “Well don’t.”
And that’s where it ended.
Gareth and I glanced at each other. He gave me a small smirk. Whenever my dad met up with my aunt, his sister, he ended up being told off by her like he was still a kid. I looked down at my meal to conceal the grin that was developing on my face.
I suppose I would have forgotten that the conversation had taken place if it were not for what had happened during the night.
I guess I must have woken up when Josh and Masey got back from their night out. Most of us had gone to bed at about midnight but I think my dad and uncle stayed up a while longer drinking whiskey and talking about Scotland, where they were both from. By two thirty, when Josh and Masey staggered in – banging the front door and laughing loudly – the house was otherwise dead.
I think I lay in bed for a while, trying to get back off to sleep; feeling thirsty from drinking too much of the pre-wedding beer with Gareth. Eventually, the thought of cold lemonade from the fridge became too tempting and so I crept down to the kitchen to get some.
I didn’t switch on any lights. Josh and Masey were in the living room getting ready to go to sleep and I didn’t want them to hear me. Josh liked to take the piss out of me and catching me in my dressing gown, semi-inebriated would have delighted him.
I went into the kitchen and quietly poured myself some lemonade. I gulped down one glass and poured myself a second. I could hear Josh talking to Masey about Rachel, his voice quiet and his speech slightly slurred.
Drinking the second glass more slowly, I heard Josh saying that Rachel was fantastic in bed.
Masey asked if she was as good as Tanya, one of the more long-term girlfriends from Josh’s university days.
Josh laughed. He said, “No-one’s as good as Tanya. She was – Jesus – she was fuckin’ good…”
Masey laughed as well. He asked, “In what way?”
Josh said, “She was special. Fuckin’ total psychopath, but she knew what to do with a guys’ cock, mate.”
I gently put my glass into the sink, being careful not to give my presence away by knocking it against the other crockery which was in there.
Masey asked, “What do you mean? Good blow jobs…?”
Josh laughed. “Fuck yeah.”
I walked towards the kitchen door, intending to creep back upstairs, but stopped when I heard Masey say, “As good as mine?”
There was a pause.
Then Josh said, “That’s not a fair comparison. You’re a guy. You know what you’re doin’…”
I quietly walked back over to the door connecting the kitchen with the living room and peered through the thin crack. It looked like both of them had undressed down to their teeshirts and briefs and were facing each other, Josh sprawled out on the settee and Masey sitting on the opposite armchair. Josh was lying side onto me so I couldn’t really see him, but Masey was sitting in view, smirking at Josh. He had short blonde hair and a warm, genuine face. His features were gentle and understated; calm and restrained. But his eyes were alight and betrayed his interest.
He said, “My mouth is still the best then?”
Josh laughed again. Then he paused and said, “I have to say, Masey, your mouth would take some beating…”
Masey chuckled. He’d drawn his legs up to his chest but they were slightly apart, revealing the front of his light blue briefs. The mounds of his cock and balls were clearly visible inside the front of them and, further down between the tops of his thighs, the material was slightly furrowed into his arse crack. He said, still grinning, “And now you’re getting married…”
Josh yawned and said, “Yeah. It’s gonna be endless dinner parties and washing the car on Sunday afternoons now. A fortnight in the Algarve every summer.”
The two of them said nothing for a few seconds. Eventually, Masey broke the silence by asking, “Have you told Rachel about… you know… the stuff we used to do…?”
Josh shook his head. “No reason to. It wasn’t a big deal. I mean, it’s wasn’t like it was ever anything serious for either of us…”
Masey smiled and nodded. “It was pretty good though.”
Josh laughed. “Yeah.”
Masey asked, “Do you think she’d mind?”
Josh shrugged. “Dunno. She’s pretty cool about stuff like that…”
Masey grinned and said, “But I guess she’d be kind of stunned if you did something like that now?”
Again, there was a few seconds of silence. Josh moved around a bit on the settee, apparently making himself more comfortable. Then he said, speaking slowly, “I guess what she doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt her…”
Masey smiled broadly. He looked like he was going to say something but then changed his mind. Like he was afraid he might screw up something that seemed to heading his way.
After another pause, Josh asked, clearly trying to sound casual, “You’d still be up for a bit of mouth action then, Mr Masefield?”
Masey nodded. “You know me, Josh. When have I ever refused…?”
There was another pause. Masey closed his legs together, perhaps trying to conceal the fact he was getting excited by the idea of re-enacting stuff the two of them used to do together at uni.
Then Josh said, “I dunno.” He laughed uncertainly. “It’s the night before my wedding for Christ’s sake. This isn’t exactly part of the bridegroom tradition…”
Masey smiled but his eyes were serious. “It’s up to you, mate. But it’s not like anyone would find out… old times’ sake and all that…”
Josh chuckled again. “Jesus, you’re still fuckin’ up for it, aren’t you?”
Masey became more serious. “I wanna do it, yeah. But if you’re gonna get a guilt trip about it being you’re wedding day tomorrow, then it doesn’t matter.”
Josh didn’t reply for a while. He just lay there on the settee. From the angle at which I was watching him, it looked like he was gently rubbing the front of his briefs, but I couldn’t be sure without making my presence obvious.
After twenty seconds or so, he laughed. It was slightly unexpected; Masey, like me, seemed puzzled.
Josh explained, still giggling, “It’d be kind of cool, actually, mate. The best man smelling of the groom’s cum… the best man with jaw ache from the groom’s cock…” He laughed again.
Masey laughed as well. He added, “The best man unable to sit down from the groom’s cock…”
Josh kept laughing. “Yeah. Nice one…”
I became even more interested in this: clearly, Masey’s mouth hadn’t been the only thing to have been used by Josh at uni.
Josh stood up and loomed over Masey. While both guys were tall and obviously looked after their bodies, Josh’s short black hair and more muscular frame made him look imposing. His erection was obvious: it formed a large mound in the bottom of the front of his baggy teeshirt.
He looked down at Masey, seated on the armchair, and said, “Old times sake, then?”
Masey smiled and nodded, apparently unintimidated by Josh’s air of authority.
Josh pulled off his teeshirt. The front of his light grey briefs was tenting outwards impressively: the material was stretched outwards by his erection so that, looking at him from the side as I was, his pubic bush and the base of his cock were clearly visible.
When he’d pulled the teeshirt over his head, he stood grinning at Masey, clearly comfortable about being erect in front of the other man. His chest was well-muscled from working out, and his pecs were lightly covered by a fuzz of brown hair. I had to acknowledge, even at seventeen when I wasn’t comfortable with such thoughts, that Josh looked pretty hot: tall and well-built, his cock seeming huge inside his underwear – eager and expectant.
He pulled down his briefs and asked, “You still into arse stuff then?” His cock bobbed upwards after he’d pulled his briefs over his feet. It looked massive: eight or nine inches long and as thick as a scaffolding pole. I could see why Masey, if he was gay, had been so keen to get his mouth around it. As cocks went, it was quality stuff.
Masey stood up and said, “More than ever, mate. What about you…” He pulled off his own teeshirt. The front of his light blue briefs stood outwards, but his cock was clearly not in the same league as Josh’s. It made a stiff rod, six inches or so long, inside them and a small damp patch had formed at the tip of his bell end.
Josh turned slightly to watch Masey as he undressed, so that I could see his solid round buttocks and thick bush of anal hair protruding from the lower part of his arse crack. He said, “Rachel isn’t really into it. We tried, but she said I was too big.”
Masey laughed, pulling down his briefs. “That’s what makes it so good, though.” When he’d kicked them off his feet, he stood back upright and his cock curved upwards in front of him.
Josh said, “Maybe you’ve got a loose arse…”
Masey grinned, “And I wonder who loosened it…”
Masey walked over to stand in front of Josh. The two men were both slightly over six foot in height and they looked directly into each other’s eyes. From the kitchen door, I could see both of their bodies in profile: the similarities of their well-defined chests; their flat, tight stomachs, and then – in complete contrast – their differently proportioned cocks pointing towards one another.
Masey reached out and caressed Josh’s large, straight cock. Then he wrapped his fingers around its thick stem and gently masturbated it. Their faces moved together and I thought they were going to kiss, but instead Masey whispered into Josh’s ear, with a grin, “You ready to rock ‘n’ roll?”
Masey put his arms around Josh and gently caressed his back, moving his hands slowly up and down the other man’s smooth skin on either side of his spine. As he did so, he worked his face down Josh’s body, taking time to kiss his friend’s nipples and lingering at his belly button. Then, gripping Josh’s arse firmly in his palms, he turned his attention to Josh’s cock. He started licking at the broad, purple bell end, moistening its surface with his tongue and teasing its underside. Josh gasped, as if suppressing a giggle, and his cock jumped around in response to Masey’s practiced technique.
Masey paused to kneel down properly in front of Josh and then started taking his friend’s cock into his mouth in earnest. The two of them looked so hot like that: Masey kneeling as if in deference to the other man’s large cock, seemingly worshiping it with his tongue and his mouth. Masey’s hands were still firmly planted on Josh’s hard, round buttocks and it looked like he was kneading them gently with his fingers as he eagerly consumed Josh’s cock. I noticed that Masey’s own cock, smaller and more curved than Josh’s, was still rock hard and pointing upwards between his thighs. His enjoyment of what he was doing for Josh was obvious, even though he didn’t touch his cock at all while he was pleasuring Josh.
I reached into my dressing gown and started silently rubbing at my own stiff cock as I watched the two men. Josh was regarded as being so unquestionably straight within the family and by his mates that to see him like this was as unexpected as it was exciting. His acceptance that men could enjoy sex together in this way, without him apparently feeling any guilt or any threat to his masculinity, was also fascinating. I remember thinking that I shouldn’t be enjoying watching them do this – they were both guys and I’d pretty much labelled myself as being straight back then – but I was reassured by the fact that Josh was also straight and yet he was enjoying it.
Masey gripped Josh’s arse and started feasting on the guy’s large cock. His lips swept up and down its stem, and he managed to take six or seven inches of it into his mouth. I was amazed that he was able to take that much into him without gagging: my own experiences of blowjobs had, at least until then, been far less successful. I guess Masey, unlike most of my girlfriends, knew what he was doing.
Masey developed a fairly rapid rhythm on Josh’s cock and Josh’s hips gently thrust towards his face in time with it. His large balls bobbed upwards in their loose, hairy sac with every thrust, and they kept banging into Masey’s chin. The rhythm of the two men gradually increased and Josh started panting rapidly in pleasure. Masey’s hands seemed totally captivated by Josh’s arse: his fingers massaged Josh’s cheeks and worked their way into his crack, exploring and relishing the feel of it.
I opened my dressing gown fully, and started rapidly masturbating my own aching cock. They looked so incredible together. Until then, almost all of my sexual fantasies had revolved around girls of my own age: the prospect of me being turned on by two guys in their twenties would never have occurred to me. But seeing Masey devouring Josh’s cock was undeniably arousing: the pleasure of boh men – one enjoying his friend’s large cock, the other enjoying his friend’s expert mouth – was infectious. Macey’s stiff cock was upright between his legs; he was breathing rapidly through his nose, struggling to further quicken the rhythm of his mouth on Josh’s cock.
I saw Josh reach behind himself and pull Masey’s fingers out of his crack. He muttered, “Not inside.” Masey maintained his rhythm and moved his palms to hold onto Josh’s cheeks again, avoiding his cleft altogether. I guessed that having another man’s fingers playing with his arsehole, being rather close to penetrating him, was a step that Josh was not prepared to take.
They kept going for another minute or so: Masey kneeling in front of Josh, his mouth taking long, rapid sweeps up and down the length of the other man’s large cock. I stood and watched them through the narrow gap of the open door, wanking my own cock quickly and feeling my orgasm nearing.
But then Josh pulled away from Masey and fell onto the settee, laughing and gasping. He said, breathlessly, “Too fuckin’ close, man.”
Masey stayed kneeling, panting to recover his breath.
Josh repeated, clearly amused by how close he’d been to cumming, “Nearly went over the edge, there.”
Masey said, breathing heavily, “You should have finished off… I like it when you… cum down my throat…”
Josh laughed. After recovering his breath, he said, “I remember when you sucked me off before the annual ball in our second year…”
Masey grinned. “And you didn’t get a drop on your tuxedo…”
Josh giggled. “And you had chronic indigestion all evening…”
They both laughed.
Then, after a pause, Josh said, “I wondered if you might wanna… you know… bend over or whatever…”
Masey smiled. He effected a crisp, upper class accent. “Are you asking to fuck the best man’s arse, Mr Bridegroom?”
Josh replied in a similar manner. “Do you know, sir, I think I jolly well am…”
Masey smiled. “I think that can be arranged.” Then, in his normal voice, “You got any lube or stuff?”
Josh stood up. “I wasn’t really expecting this to happen.” He walked towards the kitchen door; towards me. “I’ll see if there’s some olive oil or something…”
I darted behind the door as Josh opened it. He strolled into the kitchen, his erection waving around like a thick branch in front of him, and headed for the cupboards below the worktop. I remained behind the door, thankful that he hadn’t put the light on and that I was concealed in near-darkness. He looked into a few cupboards, using the light thrown into the kitchen from the living room to guide him, and eventually found what he was looking for.
He walked back out and pulled the door closed behind him. It clicked shut.
Now I had a problem. I really wanted to see them fuck but the door was firmly closed. I contemplated going to bed and masturbating, finishing off what I’d started, perhaps imagining what the two guys were doing together in the living room. But that thought was dismissed pretty quickly: I had to see it.
I stood in the darkness behind the closed door and heard them talking softly and then Masey laugh. I imagined what they were doing: smearing Josh’s cock with olive oil and Masey rubbing some of it into his arsehole. The two of them sounded so relaxed about it, so comfortable about having a sexual side to their relationship.
I thought, “I should find this disgusting. Most of my mates would get the hell out of here. Just go back to bed.” But the prospect of that, however logical and rational, could not compare with the alternative possibility of easing the door slightly open.
I thought it would be best to try and open it while they were talking. They’d be distracted and might not hear the sound it made. If they acted like they’d heard me, by going suddenly quiet or by calling out, I decided I’d make a dash for the stairs and get into my bedroom as quickly as I could. Then they wouldn’t know who’d been watching them.
Josh laughed at something Masey said as I quietly lowered the handle on the door. His laughter seemed to mask the click of the bolt inside the door frame. I held the handle firmly for about ten seconds, until I was satisfied from their continued conversation, that they hadn’t heard anything. Then I pulled the door towards me, opening it a couple of centimetres as it had been before Josh had come into the kitchen.
When I looked through the crack, I saw that Masey was smearing olive oil into Josh’s cock, massaging the thick, erect stem of it tenderly and gently.
Josh was saying, “I can’t believe she never suspected anything… the number of times we did it…”
Masey grinned. “Well she probably just thought we were playing cards or something…”
“She was in the next room for Christ’s sake. Which card game involves headboards banging against bedroom walls…?!”
Masey giggled. “She was American. Maybe she thought we play Snap differently over here…”
Josh laughed again.
Then he reached down and took the oil from Masey. “Dogs or wheelbarrows?”
Masey smiled. “You choose.”
Josh considered for a few seconds. Then he said, “I think we’ll have you on all fours.”
Masey turned away from Josh and got on all fours on the rug in front of the fireplace. He stuck his arse outwards towards Josh: it looked pale and had far less hair inside the crack than Josh’s. His thighs, though, were quite hairy – not like a chimp, but it would have been impossible for Josh to imagine Masey as a girl, as I thought he might. Masey opened his legs slightly so that his balls were obvious, hanging down between his thighs inside his scrotum. Again, the image was of a male adopting a receptive posture, of him getting ready to be fucked, and Josh seemed totally happy with the prospect.
Josh knelt behind him and poured some of the oil into Masey’s crack. Then he worked his finger along the furrow of Masey’s cleft, finding his hole. He muttered, “It’s always lower than I expect…”
Masey asked, “Girls arseholes are higher then?”
Josh nodded. “Yeah. I guess. I suppose they’ve more to fit in underneath…”
Masey said, “I’ll have to take your word for – ” And then, as Josh found his target, “Ah!”
Josh whispered, “That okay?”
Masey giggled, “Yeah, it’s just cold!”
Josh started working his finger in and out of Masey’s hole. Masey gasped in obvious pleasure. His hand reached for his cock and, from the movements of his elbow, it was clear that he was masturbating himself as Josh fingered him. I opened my dressing gown again and started beating my own dick, fascinated by the idea that a guy could get pleasure from being fingered in his arse as a girl would from having her pussy fingered.
Josh reached for more oil and then returned to Masey’s hole. The rhythm of his hand against Masey’s arse increased and he reached over to hold the other man’s hip steady as he pushed in and out of him. His hand made wet slapping noises against Masey’s arse. Masey started panting.
Josh laughed gently, “Does that feel good, then?”
Masey nodded enthusiastically, seeming to be totally overwhelmed by the feelings from Josh’s finger. He started pushing his arse further backward into Josh’s hand, trying to get more of Josh’s finger inside him.
Josh smiled warmly and looked at his friend, gasping and panting in front of him. He looked like he was enjoying fingering Masey. He was totally without disgust or revulsion at this being the other man’s arse that his finger was inside; instead, his expression was one of affection and pleasure. He seemed happy to be giving Masey something back in return for the enjoyment he’d had from Masey’s mouth.
He kept pushing his finger in and out of his friend, and then said, softly, “You ready for something a bit bigger?”
Masey gasped again. “Yeah…”.
Josh grinned. “You sure?”
Masey was breathless. “Go on… go for it…”
Josh giggled, his hand still working rapidly inside Masey’s cleft. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to…”
Masey seemed impatient. “Fucking go for it, Josh. Fuck me.”
Josh laughed and pulled his hand away from Masey’s arse. Then he moved up behind him and grabbed his hips. Quickly and without any further discussion, he lined himself up at his friend’s hole and then slid his cock all the way into him.
Masey sounded like he was in pain. He gasped and moaned.
Josh pulled out and then pushed in again.
Josh gripped Masey’s hips more firmly and thrust in again. Then again, and again, developing a rhythm.
Masey panted and said, “Shit!”
Josh bent over him, his chest against Masey’s back. He wrapped his arms around Masey’s chest and started pushing himself more rapidly in and out of Masey’s arse. He began grunting in time with his thrusts, a deep, almost bestial sound that made his pleasure more obvious than anything he could have said.
Masey kept panting and started making lighter grunting noises of his own. His hand was still at his own cock and his elbow speeded up. However large Josh’s cock felt inside his arse, Masey was clearly enjoying it.
Josh held onto his friend, and started ramming his cock in and out with an increasing pace. It was clear that neither man was going to last long. Both were grunting and gasping, both seemed totally overcome by the intensity of their pleasure. A regular clapping sound started up: the sound of Josh’s hips slapping against Masey’s butt cheeks. Behind that was the softer, wetter sound of Josh’s cock, coated in oil, sliding in and out of Masey’s hole.
I gripped my balls with my free hand and started masturbating my cock rapidly and roughly, heading towards my own orgasm as inexorably as Josh and Masey were towards theirs. The sight of them – one on all fours and the other bending over him, frantically penetrating him – and the sounds of them – their masculine grunts and pants as they enjoyed their act of sex together – seemed so natural and beautiful that my reservations had all but evaporated.
I think Masey came first. He whimpered and his elbow became a blur, his hand tugging furiously at his cock. Then he gasped like he was drowning and his hand slowed down. Josh raised his body upright and, gripping Masey’s hips firmly, made short, rapid strokes with his cock into Masey’s arse. Then he gasped and grunted as the noise of his cock became wetter and sloppier as his cum lubricated his friend’s arse.
As Josh pulled himself away from Masey and his cock was expelled by Masey’s hole with a squelch, my cum was shooting like a fountain, covering the door and the tiled floor of the kitchen in what seemed like a river.
Before I could clean it up, while I was still recovering my breath, Josh came towards the kitchen door looking for kitchen roll. I made a run for it: headed up the stairs and up to my room as quickly as I could. Then sat on my bed, panting, and wondering whether other straight guys would do such things. Straight guys like me.
The next morning, the house was a flurry of activity as everyone prepared for the big moment. I tried to keep out of it and remained in the living room, drinking coffee.
Masey came to join me, dressed impeccably in his black suit and already wearing a carnation on his lapel. I noticed that he and Josh were behaving as they always did: making jokes together, pissing around a bit; altogether relaxed and happy with each other. There was none of the embarrassment or edginess that I was half-expecting: indeed, I found it hard to believe, even though I’d seen it, that they’d done anything other than get pissed and have a laugh together on the previous evening.
Masey sat on the armchair and drank coffee from a mug.
I toyed with the idea of making a facetious comment about ring fingers, but when I looked at him, his expression was solemn and contemplative.
So I dismissed that idea and, instead, stated, “You’ll miss him.”
I didn’t really know Masey that well, and I wondered how he’d react to me being so direct.
After a pause, he said, “He’s not going anywhere.”
“But you’ll see less of him. He’ll have other commitments.”
Masey stared at me. His blonde hair was gelled back, making him look older than he was.
He said, “Well, that’s the way it is, Sebastian. Things change, people move on.”
I took a drink from my coffee. Then I asked, “How about you? Are you thinking of getting married?”
He smiled and shook his head. “It’s not really something I regard as important.”
I smiled back. “Did you think Josh would feel the same way?”
He stopped smiling and stared at me again. I clarified, “I mean, he’s always seemed to find it hard to settle down…”
Masey looked at his coffee. Swirled it around a little as if he thought the answer was somewhere inside it.
Then he looked back up at me and said, “I guess I thought he might not… I dunno.”
We sat in silence for a short while. I felt him staring at me. I wasn’t sure where my line of conversation was headed. I was just interested to know whether he was as casual as Josh apparently was about the sexual side of their relationship.
He broke the silence by saying, “I’m pleased he’s getting married. It’s what he wants.”
I looked over at him. His expression was intense.
I said, “It’s kind of sad, though. You guys get on so well.”
“This is his big day. This is important to him. I’ve always known that. I’ve no right to feel sad.”
He stared at me. I held his gaze. His words were strong but eyes were weary and they betrayed his sorrow. He looked down at his coffee again.
I wanted to say something else but I couldn’t think of anything which would comfort him without letting him know that I knew about him and Josh. Then my mother called me into the kitchen to do some trivial thing for her.
Throughout the wedding I wondered whether it had been fair for Josh to have used Masey for sex as he had. He obviously knew his friend was gay and was smart enough to realise that Masey’s feelings for him would be intensified and solidified by their sexual encounters. While Masey had been keen to allow Josh to use him for sex, had it been unfair for Josh to exploit that?
I wondered about that throughout the day. I kept looking at the two of them, and especially at Masey who was fairly reserved around everyone except Josh, and found myself arriving at a particular conclusion only to disregard it just a few minutes later.
Even when Josh and Rachel pulled away in their limo, the cans clanking on the ground behind it, and Masey was left behind waving them off with the rest of us, I still wasn’t sure how fair Josh had been.
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