9th May 2001: Quite a restrained story this and probably all the better for keeping Alec fast asleep while Sebastian explored his most secretive parts

Exploring Alec

I guess I first admitted to myself that I liked to look at other guys when I was fifteen. Me and my friend Alec, who was in my year at school, went to the toilet together at Oxford station. We were on the way back to boarding school from home and had to change at Oxford I guess – I don’t really remember the details of why we were hanging around there. Anyway, we went into cubicles which were next to each other and I settled down to have a dump. I was aware of the sound of him shitting but the sounds other guys make when they’re on the toilet were fairly unremarkable to a boarding school lad like myself. As I was looking around the cubicle for graffiti to read, I noticed a hole in the cubicle partition. In my innocence back then, I figured that they must have left a hole when they’d constructed the toilets and, while I was waiting to finish up, it occurred to me that if I looked through it I might get a good view of Alec’s cock or butt without him knowing I was looking.

As it happens, I regard myself as straight (just as I did back then) and generally have a girlfriend (I don’t remember if I did then), but the idea of getting a good look at Alec’s private parts – a view I could really savour, not just the kind of quick glance you get in the school showers – was really making me feel curious. I was really scared to look through it in case he saw me and thought it was too weird. But when I heard him stand up to wipe his butt I thought it might be safe to take a quick look.

As I peered through, I saw his arse and that he was wiping up his crack with toilet paper. That didn’t excite me, but it didn’t disgust me either. As he turned around to get more toilet paper I saw his cock and balls. Obviously he was limp and I noticed that his cock jumped about as he jerked the paper from the roll. His pubic hair was really dark – much darker than the hair on his head which was light brown – and his cock was much a darker colour than his white thighs. It looked like it had had a suntan while the rest of him had been covered up. His balls were quite small – compact might be a better word – pulled up into a round sac which was hairy and wrinkled.

The sight of my mate’s cock, observed as it was without fear of accusations, really fascinated me. He kept turning around to wipe his arse – I looked at this too but I couldn’t really see much because he was busy cleaning it up – but every time he turned to stock up on bog roll, I got a good look at his dick jumping about between his thighs.

Afterwards it seemed really scary to me that I’d looked at Alec through the hole and I guess I felt dirty about the whole thing. I didn’t think I was queer (and still don’t) because I wasn’t interested in having sex with him or kissing him or stuff. To be honest, I don’t really recall whether or not I got hard while I was spying on him. I don’t think I did. I think I just watched with fascination.

I really liked Alec. His family had come over to England from France and he was totally bilingual. He said he could think in French just as easily as he could in English. He would just kind of switch it on and off. Cool. He had short brown hair back then and a cute but masculine face. Like me he was good at basketball and we would piss about (can’t really call it working out) in the school gym on Saturdays. I suppose that, even though we tended to go for the same girls at school, I was attracted to him.

The next thing that happened between us was when the two of us went away to Paris with a few other guys from school. We were having a break before our GCSEs so we must have been sixteen. We were staying in cheap boarding houses, two or three of us to a room. I was sharing a room with Alec. One night I got up to go take a piss when he was asleep. It was about two in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. When the light from the corridor flooded into the room, I saw a pair of his used briefs lying on the floor. When I was standing pissing in the john, I thought about what it would be like to sniff his underpants – how would they smell? Would I be grossed out, would I vomit, or would I like it?

I crept back into the room and, just in case he was awake, lay back down as if to sleep. I lay there for ten minutes or so, wondering if this was too weird and I should just forget it. I really wanted to see what they’d smell like, though, so I persuaded myself that I should sniff them just to check that the smell would be disgusting to me, like it would any normal guy. So I got back up and, picking them up as I passed them in the darkness, went back to the john. The briefs were stripy – blue, yellow and red – and the material was quite thin. I sniffed the front of them first. They were slightly baggy at the front as if his cock and balls had stretched the material. One of his pubic hairs was caught inside the gusset. It was darker than the hair on his head: almost black. Seeing the hair – just looking at it and thinking about where it had come from – made my cock start to get hard. My concern at being caught was fading and I realised that I was going to enjoy this.

I saw a thin, indistinct brown line around where his arse had been and my erection strained inside my own underpants, so much so in fact that I had to release it. Jeez – I was looking my mate’s skid marks and getting off on it. What the fuck was going on?

I sniffed lightly the material at the front of his briefs. It smelled quite good – slightly sharp and clearly sweaty but undeniably the smell of a guy’s cock. A smell similar to that of my own cock. Actually, it reminded me of the smell from within my bed on mornings after a I’d had a wank under the duvet. I moved the underpants around on my nose, building up a picture of the geography of what had been inside during that day. At the top was the smell of his pubic hair – a thick and sweaty smell. At the bottom, where his balls would have been was also sweaty but sharper. Below this, the material from between his thighs still felt slightly damp against my nose and it smelled quite different – again, there was sweat (I guess Alec got kind of hot down there!) but it was mixed with a new smell – faintly anal but not in a shitty way. It’s kind of hard to describe if you haven’t smelt the area between a guy’s balls and arse, I guess.

In the middle, I could smell Alec’s cock. That was the part that started me masturbating. I could tell that he pushed his cock to the right after he pissed and could smell the sharp, male smell of where the end of his cock had lain. It wasn’t like the smell of a urinal – it was much more subtle and individual. The drops of piss from the end of his cock had dried and there was a patch of his briefs which smelled so strongly that I could just imagine his foreskin, sometimes slightly wet, nuzzling there during the day.

There was another interesting part in the far right of his underpants, right near the waistband. Again it smelled slightly of piss, but it was a more sexual smell. The material was slightly hard, as if he’d dabbed glue on his underpants and it had dried. I realised that this was where the end of his hard cock had been during moments when Alec had had a hard-on. I thought of the time we’d looked at some girls in the Metro and from the telescope on the Eiffel Tower and imagined Alec’s secretly cock growing and oozing precum near the waistband of his briefs.

I also sniffed the back of his underpants, right where his ring would be, and was surprised that I also enjoyed the smell around there.

I tugged at my cock for a while sniffing them, but I didn’t cum. I really wanted another pair of briefs with some dried cum in them.

I planned to go through his rucksack the next day while he was out of the room to get another pair. As it turned out, we were out all day and didn’t get back until 1 or 2 in the morning, pretty pissed. Alec was more pissed than I was and only managed to take his trousers off before collapsing onto the bed. He had his shirt on over a t-shirt and some green briefs. I considered undressing him to take his fresh briefs for a sniff/wank session, but how would I explain it next day when he woke up with no underpants on? Also he wasn’t completely out of it – pissed and asleep but still moving around. I tried to get off to sleep but I couldn’t. I was really curious about the briefs in his rucksack which he’d worn. After an hour or so, I got my torch out so I could raid his rucksack. I shined the light over to him and noticed that he’d moved from being on his side to lying on his back. He was still on top of the bed sheets – he hadn’t managed to pull them over him – with his legs open and his arms at his sides. From his slow breathing he looked as if he was in a very deep sleep. His shirt and t-shirt had ridden up a bit exposing the lower part of his abdomen and I could see the large bulge filling the front of his briefs. It eventually dawned on me – I don’t know why it took so long – that this was a perfect opportunity to sniff his briefs while they were on his body.

I went over to his bed and said his name quietly If he’d have woke up I’d have asked him if he was okay, pretending that I thought he was so drunk I should be concerned. My torch was still on but I’d put a sheet over it so as not to disturb his sleep. In the half-light I could see that he didn’t stir so to I put my head down towards his stomach. I was so afraid that this had all been a pretence, a set-up, and that he’d grab my head and call me queer. But my rational side told me that he had no reason to suspect me – he knew that girls were very important to me – so I went ahead. I could see the thin line of soft brown hairs leading down into underpants and I put my face close to them. I inhaled the subtle but distinctly masculine scent of his skin. My cock instantly responded. I realised why this was so exciting – apart from the fact that it was totally unlike anything I’d even contemplated doing before, I could really smell Alec’s own smell rather than some artificial perfume or deodorant that girls always seem to smear all over themselves. I suppose I could have just used that thought to help me deal with the mounting confusion I was feeling about why I was doing this with another guy, I don’t know.

I moved my head down so that my nose was right over the bulge in Alec’s briefs. I noticed that he’d pushed his cock down and to the right, in the same way that he had in the earlier pair I’d sniffed. To smell them, my nose had to actually touch the material of them. I was quite worried about disturbing his sleep as I did that and so my movements were excruciatingly slow. I was so tense – scared shitless that he’d wake up but also desperately wanting to get my face right up against his cock and balls. My upper lip touched the fabric of his underpants first. With it I could feel the curve of the stalk of his cock and the warmth from it. My nose kind of nuzzled into his briefs and I inhaled deeply. It was so good – the same combination of sweat, piss and cock smells that I’d found so exciting on his dirty undies, but they were so much sharper now.

I moved around, sniffing each area of his crotch as I had the previous evening. The smell of piss was much sharper around the area where his dick head was usually pushed. The sweat was more obvious around his balls and I enjoyed rubbing my nose around these, feeling them roll around in their sac as I moved around. They felt very big – like eggs, almost – but I guess that was because I was feeling them with my nose. My chin kept rubbing against his cock as I was smelling around his balls, and it was so hot to feel it twitching in response, the tip starting to push outwards a little as it started to thicken up.

By now of course, the waistband of my own underpants was tucked under my balls and I was jerking gently at my own cock. I must say that I desperately wanted to masturbate furiously, but I didn’t dare in case I woke Alec.

I was really fascinated by the thick, sweaty anal smell between his legs. As I began to push my nose in between his thighs so I could smell more of it, he let out a groan and started moving. I jumped up quickly and ducked down into the space between our beds. My mind searched for some reason for me to be crouched on the floor like this. I wondered how much he would have been aware of what was happening in his sleep. I promised myself that if he didn’t wake up, I’d just have a quiet wank in the safety of my own bed.

He didn’t wake up, however. He just sighed a bit in his sleep and turned over onto his side. When I looked over at him, I could see his back, the shirt riding up exposing his arse, each cheek pushing outwards against his evidently tight underpants. I stared at it for a few seconds, reconsidering my promise to get back into my own bed. I had to smell it. I had to know what my best friend’s arse smelled like – don’t ask me to justify why, I just really needed to at that moment.

Bending over his bed, I pushed my face up towards Alec’s arse, getting as near to where his hole would be as I could. I couldn’t smell much so I got nearer, the end of my nose touching his green briefs in the groove between his buttcheeks. I got a smell of his arse – a really sexy, shitty smell – but it was still only faint. Checking again he wasn’t awake – his breathing was still slow and heavy – I went in. I pushed my nose right between his cheeks and breathed in the smell of his arse. Again, I slowly rubbed my hard cock. I moved the material of his briefs to one side so I could sniff his hole directly. The cheeks of his butt weren’t particularly hairy, but his crack had a line of wiry hairs running up through it. You would not believe how much this was turning me on! I got my nose right in between his bum cheeks and sniffed near his hole. His crack was hot and had the same smell as his briefs, but this time much stronger and sharper. I was vaguely worried he’d fart – that would have really turned me off – but he didn’t. I moved my nose upwards, towards his back, but the smell was fainter there so I returned to his hole. After inhaling from it again, I applied my lips to his cheeks, above and below his arsehole. Through my mouth I breathed in the same smell, but now I could taste it – hot against my tongue with the soft fuzz on his cheeks tickling my lips. My tongue moved in, licking gently into Alec’s crack, pushing its way between his cheeks until I could feel the tight ring of his hole against its tip. I licked from side to side, moving my tongue in the cleft of his bum, tasting the sourness of his most secret area.

As my tongue slowly swept up and down in Alec’s cleft, I had to stop masturbating because I knew I was close to cumming. My heart was beating so fast and I was breathing so heavily that I was afraid he’d wake up. I stopped licking but stayed in that position for a few seconds, getting my breath back and recovering a little. My tongue was still pressed against his tight, hot hole and I could feel his pulse beating with it. I had some of his butt hairs in my mouth. I just sat there, enjoying it all, but especially savouring the sharp, bitter taste on my tongue.

Then, parting his cheeks with my hand, I pushed my tongue into his arsehole. His little ring gave up easily, allowing me in. I immediately felt the hot moist inside of Alec’s anus with the end of my tongue, and as I pushed in further, squeezing his hole open, the tastes became stronger, making my mouth water. The strange thing about it was how natural it felt to be doing this: I was so aroused by what I was doing that I guess there was no room for any disgust. My feelings of pleasure from having Alec’s arse in my face and licking into his hole were so intense that I started masturbating myself really quickly, shaking the matress with my elbow. At the same time Alec groaned again, and so I pulled out from his hole, still enjoying the taste of my his arse on the end of my tongue.

I really wanted to cum with his cock in my face. I just had to do that. My earlier worries had all but gone: I don’t think I was too bothered about him waking up by this stage. As I bent over Alec, to sniff at the front of his underpants, I became aware that the contours of his crotch were different to the way they’d been earlier. It hit me that he had an erection and, as I’d surmised when I’d sniffed at his discarded briefs, it poked upwards to the right, its tip pushing against the waistband of his briefs. In the dim half-light from the torch it looked very big – about eight inches, I guess. I could a dark patch at its tip.

I didn’t smell Alec’s cock. I pulled it out from his underpants, through the hole for his right leg, and licked at the end of it. By now smelling wasn’t enough. I had to taste it. His foreskin was slightly too short to fully cover his erection: about a quarter of an inch of his bell end poked out from it. I could feel his piss slit with the tip of my tongue. Around it, I could feel the raised ring of his foreskin, pulled tight around the tip of his thick bell end. The end of his cock seemed to have little taste after the blast I’d had from his butt, but I was fascinated to feel the thick strings of his precum sticking to my tongue as I swirled it around the tip of his cock.

Pulling more of his cock out from his underpants, I put my mouth around the top of his large bell end, and sucked on it. It seemed to burst out from the foreskin, pushing its way into my mouth. It felt hot against my tongue and I could feel drops of his precum leaking out from its tip. I felt so hot having Alec’s cock in my mouth and – maybe it sounds weird – I think that was the first time I really considered that I might have homosexual leanings. I kept sucking on his cock, swirling my tongue around his bell end, and starting to taste the saltiness of his precum. It seemed to constantly ooze out of the tip, like a slow drizzle. No wonder I’d found a hard part on his briefs the previous evening.

As I licked at Alec’s cock, I played with my own, of course. With my free hand, I found his wet arse and pushed my finger against his hole. I had an overwhelming desire to fuck his butt – I was tired with smelling and tasting him, I was longing to penetrate a part of him with my own cock. It was in this position, my friend’s cock in my mouth, my finger pushing at his arsehole, thinking that I desperately wanted to buttfuck him, that I came. My cock spurted jets of cum against the side of his mattress. It really soaked the sheets and left a wide damp patch.

And that was how it ended. Except that as soon as I’d cum, I immediately felt (a) guilty; and (b) afraid he’d catch me dribbling over his cock and tell my mates or my girlfriend. I cleaned up the mess as best as I could without waking him, tucked his cock back into his briefs, covered his arse up and went to bed. I lay there feeling guilty as fuck and didn’t sleep that night. I couldn’t understand why I’d done it – I mean, I could kind of justify sniffing his discarded undies, but what I’d done to Alec felt like rape. He was (and is) a good friend and yet I’d wanted to fuck his arse. I worried I might be gay or – since I’d never heard of guys licking other guys butts, even gay ones – perverted and contemptible.

To my relief, Alec didn’t say a word about what had happened. He honestly didn’t seem to be aware of what I’d done. Not even a “I had a funny dream last night” quip. So I guess my secret is safe…


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