Tantrums and Hormones
by David Heulfryn
I had a fantastic evening. Spending time with Max, James and his brother, Marc, was a new experience for me. It was a shame we had to end it early, as Max and I had to get home. My curfew was earlier than Max’s, and he was sweet enough to come back with me. It meant we were in bed early.
“I had a fun evening,” I told Max as we lay in our beds. “James and Marc are fun.”
“I’m glad. But how did it go when you spoke to your gymnastics coach.”
After school, I decided to be honest with Coach and just not turn up. I went to the gym and asked to speak to him. I told him I was struggling with a few personal problems and needed a break. I said I wouldn’t be coming for the next month to give me time to sort myself out. He was concerned and asked if there was anything he could do to help, but I said no. I just needed a little time. I expected him to try and persuade me to keep coming, but he seemed to understand. He told me I was one of the best kids in the club, which made me feel better. He told me I could come back early if I wanted and asked if I would come and see him again in a month to let him know what was going on.
It was a very grown-up conversation. He treated me like an adult, like I could make my own decisions. It helped that I didn’t act like a stereotypical teenager. The conversation with Mum was the complete opposite.
Mum didn’t understand why I wanted a break and kept badgering me to give her reasons. I couldn’t explain it to myself, never mind to her. It ended with me shouting that I just needed a break, and she shouted back that I was acting like a child.
I smiled when I recalled what I had shouted back. “I am a child!” I shouted and told her I was going to see Max and James. I slammed the front door as I left.
Dad wasn’t home when we got back, and Mum just let us go to bed without wanting to talk to me about my outburst.
“I think I should apologise to Mum in the morning,” I said to Max.
“It sounds like you should.”
“Why can I have a rational and adult conversation with Coach, but I turn into a selfish little boy when it comes to Mum?” I asked Max, perhaps rhetorically.
Max sighed. “I find it difficult as well. I know we are growing up, but even my brain reverts to when I was a toddler sometimes, and I feel like having a tantrum.”
I laughed, “Are you accusing me of having a tantrum?”
Max also started to laugh, “Well, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it’s a good chance it is a duck.”
“You’re so funny, Max.” I laughed. “You always bring me back down to earth with a crash.”
“Well, what other use am I?”
“I’m sure James can think of some. Especially after the other night.” I needed to be honest with Max about what I’d seen. I owed him that after deliberately watching him masturbate while alone in our room many months ago. I wanted him to know that this time it wasn’t deliberate.
“Why? What do you mean?” Max asked.
“You woke me up, and I saw you and James. You were kissing and wanking him. I didn’t mean to.”
“Sorry, Min.” Max said, “We didn’t mean to wake you. You should have said, and we would have stopped.”
“And how would you expect that conversation to go?” I giggled, “Max, would you mind not wanking your boyfriend so I can go back to sleep.”
“I take your point.” Max chuckled.
“He really is quite big, isn’t he?”
“He is. You now know why I’m so scared to go further with him. I struggle to take it in my mouth, and I can’t even imagine it going in the other place.”
“Your arse, Max.” I giggled again, “Just call a duck a duck.”
“Okay, Min. I also think I’m too young. I’m nearly fifteen, he’s nearly sixteen. I’m happy just touching him and sometimes sucking him. But James is keen. He understands I don’t want to. But says he’s ready and wants me to fuck him.”
“Oh. What are you going to do?” I asked.
“We’re leaving it alone for the time being. Neither of us wants to force the other into doing anything we don’t want. But the other night, he did something different….” Max trailed off.
“What? All I saw was you wanking him off.”
“Well, before that… Well, I woke up James with my hard cock poking his arse. He fidgeted, which woke me. James then snuck under the duvet and started to blow me. I told him to stop. I didn’t want to wake you, but he didn’t. I felt him playing with my balls while he sucked me off, and then he released them, and I felt his hand under my arse. I felt his finger touch my arsehole, and just before I came, he shoved his finger inside.”
“Fucking hell,” I whistled.
“Min? It felt amazing. I came so hard. It’s probably what woke you. I did it to myself again when I was in the bathroom later. I sucked on my finger and pushed it inside. It feels so good, Min. I told James that I didn’t mind. He knows I’m not ready for his thick cock, but his slim finger felt amazing.”
“Did you do it to him?”
“No, not yet. I wanted to suck him off afterwards, but it felt weird doing it with you in the room, even if you were asleep, or not, as was the case. So, I just wanked him off. James told me that he’d been fingering his arse while he wanked for months now, especially when thinking about me.” I suspected Max blushed when he told me that.
“Are you going to try it? When you wank and think about him?”
“I will. When I get the chance.”
“You mean when I’m not around.” I chuckled.
“Doesn’t it make your finger stinky?” I wondered.
“Not if you’re clean. Just don’t try it before you take a dump, or you’ll get something on it you don’t want.”
I laughed, imagining Max with a shitty finger.
“I told Rick I was taking a break from gymnastics. He was excited that we could spend more time together.”
“I’m not surprised. He’s your best mate.” Max said.
“I know. He wanted me to come round today, but I told him I was meeting you and James.”
“You could have gone. We wouldn’t have minded.”
“I promised you and wanted to be with you and James today. I’ve arranged to go back to Rick’s after school tomorrow. He’s found a way to get round the parental controls on the internet and has promised to show me some porn.”
“You don’t want to watch too much of that. It’s not real. What me and James have is real. Porn is fantasy, and some of the cocks are massive. I can’t believe there are people out there with cocks that big.”
I laughed. “He’s always going on about it. But he watches straight porn. I’m not sure I want to watch that.”
“Then don’t,” Max said firmly. “Let him watch it if he wants, but if you don’t want to, then don’t.”
“I’ve seen bits before.” I sighed, “it felt dirty. Not like with you and James. When I watched you two, there were feelings between you.”
“There is.” Max sighed. “He’s the only other person I feel safe with.”
“Max?” I said, “Promise me that when you’re ready, you won’t let James fuck you while I’m in the room. I’m not sure I want to see that.” I giggled.
“Who are you kidding.” Max laughed, “You’d love to watch you little perv.”
I giggled. Max was right.
“What’s going on with Dad?” I changed the subject. “He’s never around anymore.”
“Well, they told us his new job would be difficult at first.”
“I know. But we never see him except at weekends.” I complained.
“It’s not like we did things with him in the evening or he helped with homework.”
“I know. But it just feels strange without him here. Mum seems more stressed because of it as well.”
“I’m not surprised,” Max laughed, “She has to deal with your tantrums on her own. She can’t get Dad to deal with you.”
“I know. That’s why I think I should apologise.”
“You really are a good kid. Mum should be proud of you like I am.”
“Stop it, Max.” I squirmed at his compliment.
“I was wondering how it’s going with your ginger crush. You’ve not mentioned him for some time.”
“I’ve gone off him.” I pouted. The boy totally blanked me when I tried to talk to him. He made friends with the older boys and wasn’t interested in getting to know us ‘younger kids’. Every time I tried to become friends, he would brush me off. He may be cute, but he wanted to train with the big boys. I was just a little boy to him. I don’t think he realised I was only a year younger as I am short for my age. I looked like I belonged with the ten and eleven-year-olds. And he treated me like them.
“That’s a shame,” Max said as I explained. “Is that why you have gone off gymnastics?”
“No!” I sounded defensive but didn’t mean to. “I’ve given up on him. You can’t just dismiss the young kids. Sometimes you can learn from them. I have. And you have. It was me who taught you to do a backflip. If we didn’t want to learn or be friends with people younger than us, then it’s a shame.”
“It’s his loss, Min,” Max said, but the platitude was true. It was his loss. “He will never know what a fantastic young man you are.”
“Even though I have temper tantrums like a toddler?”
“Yes, even though you have temper tantrums. Did you know you look even cuter when you have them?”
“Stop it, Max. I sometimes can’t control myself. I can get so angry one minute and then upset and cry like a baby the next. My feelings are all over the place at the minute. I feel that I’m just being pulled in all directions. School wants me to do things, I have homework, and they expect me to do well, so I can’t just coast like some of my mates. Swimming made demands, Gymnastics make demands, Mum and Dad make demands with chores and expecting me to behave like the perfect son.” I sighed, “Max, you’re the only one that doesn’t expect me to do anything or be a certain way. Being here with you like this, I can leave it all outside and be myself or let you help me discover myself.”
“Min, you’re afraid of letting people down. Don’t be. There is only one person you shouldn’t let down, and that is yourself. Stop being what others expect you to be. You’re thirteen and starting to learn who you are. I learnt this from you.” Max said sincerely. “I think you’re having a mid-teen crisis early.” Max laughed.
“Can I sleep with you again?” I asked.
“You never need to ask, Min. I’m here whenever you need me. And I would even kick James out of bed if you needed me.”
I slipped out of my bed and snuck over to Max’s side of the room. He pulled back his duvet, and I climbed in. He draped the duvet over our naked bodies and spooned me like he always did. His body felt warm, and his breath against my neck reassuring. Max’s soft cock nestled between my arse cheeks.
“I love you, Max.”
“I love you, Min.”
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