by David Heulfryn
It was the last night that Max and I shared a bed. Tomorrow our new beds will be delivered, and mine will be dismantled and stored in the garage. Mum wanted us to have the same beds. She said the room wouldn’t look right with Max having a new divan bed and me keeping my old wooden bed. It took a week for the shop to deliver the bed, so Max and I slept together all that time. The night Max’s bed broke, Mum found out that he also slept naked, and shortly afterwards, she realised he wasn’t sleeping on the mattress on the floor. Mum wasn’t happy that we were both sleeping nude in the same bed. One evening, she spoke to Max about it and expressed that she thought it inappropriate for him to sleep naked with his brother. I don’t understand what she was worried about. All we ever did in bed was talk and sleep; neither of us thought it right to masturbate while the other was in bed, so all our normal teen activities were confined to the bathroom for the time being. But I think she was concerned that he might influence me and turn me gay, but that was something I would discover in my own time.
If I was honest with myself, my relationship with Max was having an effect on me. It was making me think about my sexuality. If Max hadn’t come out, I might not be examining my feelings so young. But seeing what he had with James made me want the same. I saw in Max that his love for James was different from his love for me. I shared that brotherly love with Max, but I wondered how I would find that sexual love with that Max shared with James.
I made a confession to Max. “I’ve been trying to think of girls when I masturbate.” Max was curled over my slight body as we lay in bed. “My mate showed me some straight porn on his phone, and I’ve been trying to wank to it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Max whispered into my ear.
“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel anything. I see the man pushing his cock into the woman, but it does nothing to me. I also couldn’t believe how big the man’s willy was. It was huge, about three times the size of yours.”
I felt Max shake as he held me, I couldn’t hear anything, but he was trying desperately not to laugh. “Some of those cocks in porn are so massive, they’re unrealistic. The average size of a hard cock is just under six inches, so as long as you are around that size, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about that. I know they aren’t usually that big. It’s just that I don’t feel anything when I see it. He showed me two women having sex as well. I didn’t like that at all. I wanted to ask him to show two men, but I chickened out. I didn’t want him to think I was gay. Not yet, anyway. But I have thought long and hard about it, and I’ve decided I’m definitely gay.”
“It’s okay just to be you for the time being. I think you should wait before you tell anybody. Just see how things turn out. Don’t put a label on yourself so early.”
“I’m only a year younger than you, Max.” I pouted.
“I know, Min. I don’t want you to face what happened to me with Pete. I still feel awful when I see him. I know you haven’t asked my advice, but my advice would be to wait before you tell anybody. I know it’s his fault, and he’s the one with the issue, but he was a good friend.”
“Have you spoken to him since…” I wanted to know how things were after James had beaten him up.
“I have. He came to school with a black eye and a cut lip the day after. I asked him if he was okay. He simply said fine and walked off. I’ve not spoken to him since. I didn’t know what to say. I was going to apologise for James hitting him, but I thought I shouldn’t, as he was the one who started it all. He looked sad and lonely. He’s involved with another crowd, but I think he misses us. I just told him I’m still the same Max he made friends with on the first day of school ten years ago. I think he smiled, but I can’t be sure. He hung his head, so I told him he could call me if he wanted to talk.”
“It looks like he regrets what happened,” I said.
“I think so. But he’s too proud at the moment to admit it. I think he’ll come round eventually, but it might take a few more weeks.”
“It sounds like you’ll take him back as a friend. Are you sure you should, especially after what he did?” I asked.
“I’m not going to throw away ten years of friendship because he reacted badly before he had time to think. I’ll give him some time, but I’ll forget it if he doesn’t come round soon. I’ve noticed my other mates talking to him, trying to make him see sense. I’ve told them he needs to do it in his own time, and we should leave him be.”
“Yeah, but what about James.” I wondered, “He beat the crap out of him. How will he feel if you are suddenly mates with someone who did what he did to you? I’m not sure I could forgive.”
“I’ve talked to James. He was mortified at how he reacted. He said he’d never done that to someone before, not off the rugby pitch,” Max chuckled, “But seriously, he said he just felt a rage when he saw Pete hit me. He felt an urge to protect me but went too far. I’ve made him promise never to intervene again. Not unless I ask him.”
“Now, thinking about that turns me on,” I said, not realising.
“You weird freak. James beating another kid up turns you on.” Max laughed.
“I don’t mean that! The love he shows to you. That turns me on. I want someone to love me that much. And I don’t mean you or Mum and Dad.”
“Then I don’t think you’re gay. I think you are a lovesexual.” Max laughed at his made-up word, “Someone he gets aroused by being in love. That’s why I think you should wait. That person may still be a girl. Then what will you do?”
“I’ll just say that now I’m not gay. I was before, I may be again, but now, I’m not.”
“Finnsexual”, Max pondered about his other new word he made up to describe my sexuality, “No, that sounds like you love yourself.” Max chuckled. He tightened his arms around me and placed a gentle kiss on my shoulder. “You’re only just thirteen, Min. Your sexuality is still growing and developing. I love how honest you are and how open you want to be, but be careful. Being different can cause you pain, and I want to protect you from that pain.”
I twisted my neck to try and look at Max. I lowered my head and kissed his hand. “I’ll wait until I get my first boyfriend. But I won’t hide him away from everybody.”
“Your boyfriend might not want everyone to know. What then?” Max asked.
“I suppose I’ll just do whatever my boyfriend wants. I wouldn’t want to push him away.”
Max kissed my shoulder again, “Thank you, Min. I am that boyfriend who wants to move slowly, and James has been good enough not to force me.” He kissed my shoulder again.
“You’re thinking about James again, aren’t you?”
“How can you tell? Are you psychic?” Max asked.
“Nope,” I giggled, “I can feel your willie pushing against my bottom.” I wiggled my bottom and felt his cock get harder.
“Stop it, Min.” Max giggled, “I don’t want to have an accident.”
I didn’t stop. I kept wiggling my bottom against Max’s hardening cock.
“Fuck, Min. Stop.” Max groaned, but I ignored him again.
I felt Max pull his arms away from me, and he turned over. “There!” He spoke harshly.
I was disappointed. Our bottoms were now touching and nothing else. I missed his body against mine. “Max!” I whined. “Don’t be a spoilsport. Turn over again. I promise to stop. I was only teasing.”
“I don’t feel like it.” Max was being petulant.
I turned over. We had now changed places, and I was spooning him. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder. “Oh, come on.” I kissed his shoulder like he had done to me, “We all get erections.”
“It’s not that, Min. You were going to make me cum. It wasn’t right. You’re my brother!”
“Sorry, Max. I was only having fun. I didn’t realise.” Max was quiet. “Max, I don’t want our final night to be like this.”
“It’s alright, Min. I’ve gone soft now. But don’t do it again!” Max told me off.
“Okay, Max. Are you going to turn over now?” I said timidly.
“Nope,” Max said, “You turn first.”
I smiled as Max was no longer annoyed with me. I kissed his shoulder and turned over, so our bottoms touched again. Soon after, Max turned and spooned me. His soft cock nestled neatly between my cheeks.
“You know, Min,” Max wrapped his arms around me again, “this is why I think you should just take it slow and not shout out that you’re gay. You still act like a little kid sometimes and are not sexually aware.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” I placated him, knowing I was truly gay and didn’t think another year of growing up would change that. “You know there is a boy in my class at school who has already come out. He’s still twelve.”
“Bloody hell. How did it go?”
“Well, we aren’t good friends. He hangs out with others. But we do talk sometimes. He’s a little chunky like you used to me. He’s quite cute.”
“I was never chunky.” Max protested.
“You know what I mean, Max. I like chunky. He looks cuddly.” I felt Max hold me tighter. “But I still prefer cuddles from you.”
“Aah, thanks, Min. I love cuddling you. But prefer cuddles from James.” Max chuckled.
“I’m hurt!” I pouted, “I can’t believe you think I’m second best.”
Max laughed, “It’s a different kind of cuddle. When I cuddle you, I feel like I’m protecting you, keeping you safe. When I cuddle James….”
“Yes,” I interrupted him, eager for him to finish what he was going to say.
“Well, I feel….”
“Definitely. Especially when his hand falls to my crotch. Sometimes I cum from him just cupping my crotch through my jeans.” Max sighed, “I wish I wasn’t so quick to cum.”
“Sometimes it takes me ages.” I told him, “I’ve given up a few times as my arm ached.”
“It only happens with James. It’s like my cock just wants to explode whenever I see him, at least when he touches me.”
“It must make playing rugby with him awkward.” I laughed.
Max playfully slapped my shoulder, “You little sod, you don’t see me on the rugby pitch with a massive hard-on all the time.”
“I never see what’s going on under that dirty jockstrap of yours.” I teased.
“Do you have the same effect on James?” I asked.
“He tends to last longer but still cums quite quickly. I love it when he cums,” Max seemed to be verbalising his thoughts, not thinking my ears were millimetres from his lips. “Our lips touching, our tongues touching and my hand around his cock as it thickens and throbs while he cums into his pants. I tend to carry tissues with me now so I can clean the cum from his hand. One time he held my wrist before I could clean up. He brought my hand to his mouth and licked his cum from my fingers as we looked into each other’s eyes. I came without anyone touching me.”
Max had grown hard as he reminisced, and I could feel it poking in the crack of my arse. He must have realised but didn’t care. I didn’t care.
I felt Max shudder, and a warmness spread between my arse cheeks. Max had cum from merely imagining touching James.
I wasn’t grossed out. It felt good.
“Sorry,” Max whispered, “we should clean up.”
Max was about to get up when I stopped him, “Please just lay with me. It doesn’t matter.”
We lay silent as the memory remained in our thoughts.
“I love you, Max,” I whispered.
I felt Max tighten his grip on me. His cock remained hard and pushed deeper between my cheeks.
“I love you too, Min.”
My body relaxed, and I felt myself sink deeper into my mattress. I drifted to sleep in Max’s arms, his cock enveloped in my moist, fleshy arse cheeks.
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