Staff Sergeant Theodore Harold King, Military Medal (MM), British army recruitment NCO, sat behind his desk waiting for the next applicant to come in, meanwhile he finished off the form from the last bloke who had been dismissed and then slapped the reject stamp hard on the bottom, then signed it. As he was finishing off he heard heavy boots marching towards him. Whoever it was he made one hell of a noise as he got to the desk and halted on the wooden floor.
“PRIVATE HUNTER HUNTINGDON-SMITH REPORTING STAFF SERGEANT!”
Theodore King (from now on called Theo) looked up and then looked up even more until he finally arrived at the privates face.
“Yeah Gods, how tall are you?”
“During my medical yesterday Staff Sergeant I was recorded at six foot four inches.” Theo stood up to his full height of five foot eleven inches and was still looking up!
“My brother calls me “titch” sooo hilarious Staff Sergeant!”
“How tall is he then for goodness sake!?”
“Five foot six Staff Sergeant” Theo sat back down and told this bean pole to do the same.
“Right, lets get on with this…. Full name.”
“Hunter Cornwallis Egbert Stewart Marshall Huntingdon-Smith Staff Sergeant.” Theo checked the form, correct, no fucker would make that lot up.
“Date of birth?”
“Fifteenth of March nineteen twenty Staff Sergeant.” And as a favour to Theo saved him from having to work out he was twenty two years old.
“Father and mothers names?”
“Sir Stanley Hunter Egbert Stewart Marshall Huntingdon-Smith, that’s father.” Theo could not help smile.
“Lady Emma Huntingdon-Smith, that’s….. “Don’t tell me, I’m guessing it’s mother?”
“Indeed Staff Sergeant.” Hunter replied seriously.
“Huntingdon, very upper class sounding, where did the Smith bit come from and what does he do?”
“Father is a land owner and farmer and has a large estate in the west country and an even bigger one in Scotland. Mother was the daughter of one of his farmers and insisted in retaining her maiden name when they got married after she became pregnant with me.”
The fact that Daddy was fucking about with one of his farmers daughters seemed to be quite normal by the matter of fact way he just rolled it off his tongue.
“Bet Daddy was a tad pissed off.”
“Oh no Staff Sergeant, they celebrated by having my brother a year after me and then carried on with a new one for the next eight years! We are a very happy family, even though we do tend to forget all birthdays and also names at times! My father taught mother how to read and write and she has had two children’s books published so far. Her pen name is Emma Smyth should you have children and which to buy them.” Theo promised himself he wouldn’t, not that he had any kids to buy for anyway.
“Smyth looks better in print I suppose rather than Smith.”
“Well, mother can be a bit snobbish at times I must say. She is writing a book for each child she has but her maths are not too good as she said she needs to write another nine.” Theo kept quiet.
“So, a bit upper class it seems. Why are you not an officer?”
“Mother insists we start at the bottom rung and work up the ladder in life, I will become an officer when the time is right.”
“Don’t you think it will be up to others rather than expect what you think will automatically happen?”
“It will happen Staff Sergeant, just a matter of time.” Theo looked at his “except” stamp which he had not used for two days, he still did not have the man he was looking for. But now?
“So you joined up in 1940 and you are currently with the Royal Dorchester’s and from what I read a very good shot, very handy I must say as you are an infantryman.” Hunter laughed just in case that was a joke.
“Yes, father taught me from the age of five to shoot an air rifle and then progressed to the twelve bore, both game and clay pigeon and since the age of fifteen I have never missed a thing.” Hunter was not being boastful or arrogant, just stating a fact.
Theo made notes and then tried to put the young man off.
“Shooting a shot gun is one thing, an army .303 rifle is quite another.” Theo looked at the smile coming over the young mans face.
“Oh hell, don’t tell me, father’s got one!”
“Yes Staff Sergeant, I have no idea how, it must have been a spare one after the Great war.
When I was thirteen he took me into the back garden and began teaching me.”
“BACK garden!? How fucking big is it!?”
“If mother was here you would get a real telling off Staff Sergeant, she hates that sort of language. It’s three hundred yards to it’s furthest point and from there into a huge forest.” Again, not boasting, just stating another fact. Theo stared at Hunter and said the first thing that came into his head.
“Plenty of wood for the fire then.”
“Oh yes Staff Sergeant, all ten of them! Keeps the house boy busy I can tell you. Lovely chap, been with us for 40 years or so!” Theo didn’t ask how old this house boy was, there would be no point.
“I need a piss… Opps, I need to empty my bladder, wait there.” Hunter stood to attention then sat back down and read the upside down notes and smiled. “He likes me!”
Ten minutes later Theo came back in with two mugs of tea. He gave one to Hunter and told him to sit down.
“Thank you Staff.” He felt safe in dropping the Sergeant part.
“Lets get on, you look fit, are you?” Hunter smiled at Theo who stared back and just bloody well knew “father” would be mentioned again.
“To quote the doctor who carried out my medical yesterday I am one of the fittest chaps he has ever examined. He gave me a very thorough check over which confirmed all I knew about myself and was a joy. When I was thirteen my father (Theo congratulated himself) told me I had to take up boxing but there were no clubs in our area but there was an army camp and father got me into the gym there. A Sergeant Fellows became my trainer. All the lads were very good to me and I learnt quickly and by the time I had reached sixteen I was a very competent boxer and even won a few bouts.”
“Only a few? That’s not like you, bet you had a lot of work to do to catch up'”
“Well the lads were three to four years older and fully developed physically. I was indeed always catching up, but it was good for me as I was always up against better boxers and so the only way to go was up, but very often down of course!”
“Do you box for your Regiment?”
“I do indeed Staff, and the Army as well as the combined forces teams.” Theo fondled the black “accept” stamp.
“Education, what university? Oxford, Cambridge or one of the others?”
“I completed my education at Bournemouth Grammer School Staff. Mother hated all those places of so called learning even though my father could have got me into Eton because he was educated there. She is of the opinion that you were not taught anything useful and would have to go into the church, politics or army or navy and would be pretty useless in the real world, that is except for Mr Churchill who she thinks is a good man and is right for the job.” Winston would be pleased to know that Theo thought. Hunter continued. “I have the usual certificates in general education and attained the highest possible marks in all subjects which included French and German. Since leaving school I continued to study both languages and I now read, write and speak both of them fluently and again, with the highest possible score.”
“I’m so pleased you didn’t only manage 99% Private, I would imagine that would mean failure to you.” Theo cussed himself for the sarcasm and once again looked at the “accept” stamp.
“Right, a couple of more questions for this session then we meet tomorrow at 0900.” But he did not finish as the door opened and both stood to attention as a Major came in and took one look at Hunter.
“Bloody hell! Is it cold up there? Theo, did we ask for lamp posts”
“This is Private Huntingdon-Smith sir and is six foot four.”
“Then what the hell is he doing here, he wont exactly blend into the French countryside that well will he!” Major Paul Dowling turned to Hunter. “Why on earth did you apply?”
“I didn’t sir I was told to report here by my CO and was not told anything about this interview or what it’s about, but now you said what you have this must be something quite different and you are looking for people with certain attributes….., like languages and other skills?” Dowling almost smiled, Theo already was.
“Seems we have a cleaver sod Theo, or at least he thinks he is. Well lets just see Private. You will now impress both myself and the Staff Sergeant and you have just fifteen minutes to do so.” Hunter’s mind went into overdrive and knew he had to come up with something quite different that neither of them would expect….. “Got it!” He told himself.
“If you agree sir I will ask you two gentlemen to leave the room for ten of those fifteen minutes and when you come back in you will not be able to see me and I will kill both of you, not for real of course.” Theo and his CO looked at the desk, book shelves and a cupboard. There was no other door and the window was barred.
“Thank you for not killing us Private, my wife will thank you as well, I hope. Your time starts as soon as we leave, come on Theo.” He turned back to Hunter. “This had better be good young man. I’m not the most patient of men but more important the Staff Sergeant and I are dying for a pint. Now get on with it.”
“Well Theo, is this bloke for real or are we being fucked about and he is just having is a week off from his regiment? Still, I give him credit for thinking and seems to have worked out some of what this about.”
“To be honest sir I am thinking he will be just the man I’m looking for. I will know for sure in two days.”
“Oh come on Theo, how the hell is he going to be invisible in THAT room for Christ sake.”
“We are about to find out sir, times up.”
Paul Dowling opened the door and both long serving regular servicemen stepped into the room and just stared at the floor.
They stood there looking down at Hunter’s full uniform laid out on the floor as though for inspection and took in the highly polished boots with gaiters either side, trousers folded in half along the creases, next came the neat shirt which was placed on top of the jacket and then to the underpants, vest and socks. Only the beret was missing.
It only took a second to realise that wherever he was, he would be stark naked!
The door quietly closed and both men felt a sharp finger nail dig into their necks.
“Bang, bang! I think gentlemen you are both dead and I must remember to cut my nails when I get back my room.”
Theo and Dowling turned round and saw the sight of the most handsome of men, it only took seconds but in that time they found themselves staring at a picture of absolute beauty from the beret on his head all the way down to his feet and everything in between!
His whole body was in perfect shape, not overly muscled but tight and very trim.
And then, oh my word, they got to the private area and both men could not help but gawp at the monster as it hung eight loose inches between his legs and then to make this sight even more impressive was the huge bollocks hanging half way down the owners shaft with a forest of black pubic hair that crowned this amazing sight.
Theo managed to get his brain in gear at last. “Get dressed.” But even that was to be another moment as Hunter went to retrieve his pants, bent over and by doing so both of them took in those massive balls as they swung about as he leaned over to retrieve them, even his bum was perfect! Theo and Paul looked at one another and the looks said it all, “FUCKING HELL!”
“Why are you wearing your beret?”
“I did not think it appropriate to be completely naked sir.” Paul decided not to ask any more questions.
They sat in the pub with their drinks still thinking about the naked Private showing his privates.
“Bloody hell Theo I just don’t believe anyone could be that big! Christ the buggers got my share.”
“Nearly as big as mine!” Paul Dowling took a gulp of beer and wondered if Theo was joking.
“Well Theo are you still carrying on with the interview tomorrow? If you are it will have to include the sex questions and find out if he has used that thing other than for pissing and yanking off.” Theo was thinking hard and most of it about the “accept” stamp, oh and going back to when he was forteen. It had been a wonderful time, but then it all went terribly wrong and life only improved when he had joined the army at the age of fifteen, he had been in the army ten years. His first fighting action had been in Norway but had served in India and South Africa. He was a brilliant soldier and totally dedicated to his profession.
“Yes sir, I will be continuing to interview him and at this time I will be taking him on once he is told what this is all about but we both know even if I accept him he will have to volunteer before I get him on board. But sir, if I don’t get him, I want to go by myself, I cant keep hoping I will get what I want.”
“I wont allow you to go by yourself, you know bloody well you need a partner for this work. No Theo, you get him on board and then you could both be on your way to France.”
“Why don’t you come with me instead?”
“Fuck off, I’m buggered if I’m going into the woods with you or any other man to get buggered!”
Theo had told Paul all about his history and at the same time he had found a friend.
Theo got into bed still wide awake and thought about what happened eleven years previously. He had tried to block it out but it would never leave him. The beatings were no longer an issue but he had to get out and run away from his violent father. What with that and being vilified by family and most of the school was difficult to coup with. Two weeks after running away he was being issued with his army uniform and at least had the chance to become his own man and forget he was in fact homosexual. He was very vocal against “queers” because all he wanted was not to make other blokes think he could be and even made dates with girls to avoid difficult questions, they didn’t last mainly because he dumped them!
Theo was born in 1917 and his first experiences of life was violence at the hands of his father and would continue until he left home, if it could be called that.
He learnt to survive by his wits and tried to lesson his fathers physical abuse of him by going out to hunt rabbits, poach fish, steal eggs and at times the chicken as well as vegetables and bring it back hoping for approval by the “man” of the house, it didn’t often work. “FOUR fucking eggs, what fucking good is that with eight of us…fucking idiot.”
In 1931 he was sent to a farm for the school holiday to stay and work with his uncle and family. Good on paper, but it was his fathers brother and Theo already knew he was the same as his dad.
Theo had not met his four cousins before, three totally ignored him but was pleasantly surprised when put to work with the oldest, nineteen year old Edward. It soon became apparent that he was left alone by the whole family and for one reason, he was the toughest of the lot and would take everyone on if there was reason too. His father left him alone!
Almost as soon as Theo walked into the cottage he and Edward struck up a friendship which became stronger as each day passed….., he would also find out he was homosexual, Edward would show him.
They would go out early morning taking bread and butter with them and spend the day in the fields, just those two. After work they would go off to poach and take it all back and give it to the mother. They eat very well.
Looking back on that time Theo thought of it as his happiest and could not wait for Edward to yet again put an arm around his shoulders and very often wrap his strong arms around him and would not let go for quite some time. The fourteen year old loved it. By the end of the second week they had sex for the first time and at least four times every day for the remainder of Theo’s time there. It was to be his only experience of being loved, just six weeks in the whole of his twenty five years. But Edward’s father knew what would be going on, the whole family knew of his sexual preference, but dared not mention it, the lad would have taken them or anyone else apart. But that did not stop Theo’s uncle from telling his own father about what was going on and would not admit he was turned on by what was happening as he hid in one of the barns watching. This was a way to get even with Edward.
“Give this letter to your dad when you get home.” It was like handing over his own death sentence. The beatings started as soon as his father put the letter down and would carry on until he ran off and joined the army the day after his fifteenth birthday.
From fifteen to twenty five he managed to clear his mind and was sure he was no longer homosexual, but then he had met Hunter who he was sure was perfect for what he was looking for…..,but had also seen him naked and just could not forget the image of that most handsome of men he had ever seen!
“Fuck it, it’s just the cock isn’t it and those massive bollocks…..” But he knew bloody well it wasn’t and this was a repeat of all those years ago when he had met Edward.
Theo was now laying naked in his bed and giving himself advice. “Get rid of him Theo, for Christ sake get rid of him, even though he is perfect for the job in France.”
Theo got to his office and saw Hunter waiting for him, it was 0855. “Come in in five minutes Private.” Theo needed to sit at his deck with his mug of tea and look through his notes that Hunter had already read!
Theo was still reading when the door opened and Hunter marched in and slammed his heavy right boot down as he came to a halt.
“IF you ever come into this office again don’t make that fucking noise and tell mummy I’m sorry for swearing. I wouldn’t want to upset her even though there are lots of army chaps who do tend to swear from time to time.”
“Actually mother swears like a trooper, but she doesn’t know I know.”
“I could not give a toss what mother is or how she behaves, right lets get on.” But before he cold ask the first question the air raid warning was sounded followed two minutes later by three German bombers screaming over and by the time they had flown off a great deal of damage had been done but worse many dead or badly injured.
Theo’s small office block had been spared but not so for other buildings and most completely destroyed or burning. Without even knowing he was doing it he grabbed hold of Hunter’s jacket to stop him running off like a headless chicken because he knew he had to make a choice as to who he hoped he could save. He made his mind up and pulled Hunter towards a building that even though on fire he felt they could get in and pull people out.
Hunter stuck close to Theo waiting for him to lead any rescue attempt.
An hour later they had pulled five people out alive, but many more beyond all help.
They stood together and watched as the building burnt itself out and then went back in with others to retrieve more bodies but in fact all they could find were body parts.
Their work was done and Theo led the way to the tea van for a mug and sandwich.
“How do you feel?”
“Sad that so many have been killed Staff, but it will get worse before this madness is over and we don’t even know if we will come through and so my thought is to kill more Germans than they kill us and by the end they will have to give up.” Hunter looked at Theo. “I don’t know what all this is about, but I do know I want to be a part of it.”
“Would you kill someone if you had no choice?”
“I would kill a German even if I had a choice. For the second time they have taken the world to war and this is where the choice comes in, either let them win and have Nazi’s jack booting all over Britain or just fight and fight and kill until they chuck the towel in, even though many will die stopping the bastards.” Hunter laughed at some thought he had. “Do you know Staff I much prefer to play my guitar than fire a rifle but the fact is I am a better shooter than guitar player. So, I could either bore them to death with my playing or just shoot the sods.” Theo smiled at Hunter and wished he was not so good looking.
“Right you can go and get cleaned up and come to the office same time tomorrow. I’m saying here in case I can be of use.”
“I would like to be of use as well if you don’t mind Staff.” Three hours later they returned to their barracks and then spent another two hours cleaning uniforms and themselves.
Theo laid on his back thinking about the events of the day but managed to smile at the same time. He was certain he would be taking Hunter on tomorrow after the interview was finally over. But, it would not be that simple.
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