Turning the Sad Into the Happy
by David Heulfryn

 

Max was scared as he walked to school. Although Finn was beside him, encouraging him, he still felt scared. He was worried about meeting Neil again. As they approached the school gates, Finn saw Adam but didn’t leave Max to join his friend this time. Instead, Adam and Scott came over to Finn and Max.

“Hiya, Finn. It’s good to see you. We missed you Friday.” Adam looked at Max. “Hiya.”

“Why weren’t you at school?” Scott asked.

Finn noticed Max looked nervous. “Sickness bug, we both got it. Trust me, you didn’t want us at school projectile vomiting.”

“Eugh! Finn. That’s disgusting.” Scott winced.

Max knew that Lily would be on the phone talking to the school about what happened and how what they did to Max had affected him.

Neil came up to Max, laughing. “Hiding behind your very little brother, I see.”

It sounded like Finn growled. “I may be little, but I can fuck you up.” He looked as mean and angry as he could.

Neil laughed at Finn. “Well, I bet you can take a caning, unlike your dork brother.”

“Don’t worry about my brother. Max took it. He took it for you. He could have landed you in a huge pile of shit. Instead, he takes a caning. You should thank him, it would have been much worse if he told the truth. And you fucking know it.” Finn spat at Neil.

“Well, at least someone in the family has balls.”

“Bigger fucking balls than you.” Finn glared.

The bell rang, forcing the two to stand down.

“Come on, Max. It’s your last day with me. Then you’re on your own.” Neil said and walked away. Max followed a few steps behind.

Neil reluctantly sat with Max as their form tutor took the register. Behind them, they heard the door open.

“Could I borrow Max and Neil, please?” The class looked around to see a well-built young-ish man. Neil groaned.

“Who is he?” Max whispered to Neil.

“School Counsellor. Fuck.” Neil sneered. “Thanks, Max. Thanks a fucking million.”

“What?” Max was confused, but the boys stood and walked over to the man.

“Follow me, please.” He turned and walked back to his office.

The boys were silent as they followed him. Max was surprised when they entered his office. There was no big desk, no screens, just a couple of armchairs and a sofa.

“Sit down, please.” He indicated that Max and Neil should sit beside each other on the sofa. He sat opposite in a chair. “Max, I’m Mitch Masters,” he started, and Max heard an American drawl, “I’m the school counsellor, and Mr Price has asked that I talk to you, talk to you both.” He glanced over at Neil. “Everything we talk about in this room is entirely confidential. Unless you tell me that you intend to hurt yourself, or others, I will not divulge what we talk about to anyone. That includes teachers and parents. If either of you divulge what we talked about, you will be severely punished.” Mitch looked sternly at Neil.

“Yes, Sir,” Max said meekly.

“And you can call me Mitch while we are in this room. Outside this room, please address me as Mr Masters.”

“Okay, Sir,” Max said.

Mitch looked at Neil and asked him why he behaved as he did. Why did he leave Max alone to find his way to class when he knew he was tasked with looking after him.

“I didn’t want to do this,” Neil said petulantly, “no one wanted to do it, so the teacher just picked me at random. I’ve got better things to do than babysit him.”

“We all have responsibilities, Neil. I have to do things I don’t want to do. That’s life, Neil. If you stay in Cockaigne, Neil, and don’t fulfil your responsibilities, then you will find yourself continually punished, and once you reach eighteen, those punishments become very serious.”

“Perhaps I’ll be out of this place by then.” Neil huffed.

“Other than his presence, has Max done anything to annoy you, irritate you, antagonise you?”

“Nope.” Neil sighed.

“Do you understand what Max did for you?”

“What?”

“He tried to make excuses for you. He tried to take the blame and, as a result, got himself punished. Both of you boys took a lesser punishment than you would have received, Neil, if Max had told the truth. Max wouldn’t have been punished, and you, Neil, would have received more strokes and would probably be naked for the rest of the month so the school could see the deep red marks the cane would leave on your backside.”

There was silence.

“Don’t you have anything to say to Max?”

“Thanks, Max.” Neil huffed.

Mitch took a pad from his pocket and wrote. He ripped the top sheet from the pad and passed it to Neil. “I want to see you once a week on Friday after the last lesson.”

“But, Sir! Friday! It’s the weekend. Can’t we do this another time?” Neil pleaded, not wanting his counselling sessions to interrupt his free time. “Excuse me from Maths. We can do it then.”

“No chance, Neil. Now please get to class, Neil. I’ll see you again on Friday.”

“Yes, Sir.” Neil snatched the paper from Mitch and stormed out.

Mitch ignored Neil’s attitude but would remember it and punish him later. Alone with Max, Mitch’s posture softened, and his features relaxed.

“How are you feeling today, Max?” Mitch said softly.

Max spent the whole morning talking to Mitch. He may have looked like a tough gym bunny, someone Max had little in common with, but he engendered an open atmosphere which enabled Max to open up.

It wasn’t the nudity that affected Max. He was accustomed to that. He didn’t like being naked in front of the entire school; he felt embarrassed but would not have chosen to be naked in school, unlike his brother. But being punished in front of the school deeply affected him. Mitch had Max’s file from his previous school. He would be occasionally told off in class for not concentrating or talking, but he’d never received any detentions; he’d never been punished. Some would call him a goody-two-shoes, a teacher’s pet, or a nerd, or dork, as Neil called him. Mitch realised that Max was essentially a sensible and serious young man. Someone who would accept punishment if he felt he deserved it, but any unjust punishment would profoundly affect him.

“How does it feel now. Can you sit comfortably?” Mitch asked.

“It’s fine now. I still have the marks, but I don’t feel any pain.”

“That’s good. But we need to discuss what happened on Friday. You had a nasty panic attack, and I want to help you. Show you some coping mechanisms.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“How did you feel this morning?”

“Sick, Sir. The whole school saw me bent over and beaten. It was humiliating.” Max began to cry.

“I know, Max. But I hope you have learnt a valuable lesson.”

Max looked confused.

Mitch smiled; it appeared not. “The lesson, Max. Is that you should always tell the truth. The truth cannot harm you, and you shouldn’t cover up for others. In Cockaigne, if anyone covers for someone who has committed a crime, shields them, and gives them a false alibi, they are punished as if they committed the crime themselves. The headmaster takes the same philosophy. You are new here, Max. You and your family are still learning the rules and laws. That is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s difficult,” Max admitted. “I know the rules are stricter here, but we just don’t know how far we can go. Every time I’m out of the house, I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong, crossing the road in the wrong place, crossing when the light is still red, something I would always do before if it was safe.”

“How is your brother coping?” Mitch asked.

“He’s loving it. He’s fearless. He was naked the second day; Coach was punishing him for something. He hasn’t been beaten. But I think he wouldn’t react like I did.”

“But you are different from your brother. Tell me, Max. Have you explained how stressed you are to your parents? How on edge you are and how worried you are about what you can and can’t do?”

“No. I don’t feel it all the time. Only sometimes. But it’s worse now since what happened.”

“I can understand why.” Mitch agreed. “There’s no magic bullet to help you; no amount of reading the rules and laws will help you. You can read up all you want, but there will always be something that you miss. There is no alternative to experience. It will take time, and you will make mistakes, and you may be punished again. Only time will help you.”

Max looked worried when Mitch mentioned he might be punished again.

“You are essentially a good, law-abiding young man. I have no doubt that you will always try to stick within the rules. I want you to know that I am always here to help you. You can make an appointment to see me anytime, even during lessons. But we will work on your panic attacks for the next few sessions.”

Mitch spoke softly. He asked Max to close his eyes, and they concentrated on his breathing. “Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. In and out. Concentrate on your breathing, nothing else. In and out. Feel your body relax. Feel your tension leave your body as you breathe out. In and out. Breathe in the life-affirming oxygen. Breathe out the tension. Breathe out your fears. Breathe out your anxiety.

“When you feel the tension building, and you’re struggling to breathe, close your eyes, remain still and concentrate on breathing in and out. Breathe in the oxygen. Breathe out the tension.”

Max felt relaxed. He’d spent over ten minutes with his eyes closed, concentrating on breathing.

“Take one final breath in and let it out slowly. As you let out that final deep breath, slowly allow your eyes to open.”

Max opened his eyes and saw Mitch smiling, his face soft. Max felt like he could tell him anything.

“Next, Max. I want you to focus on a moment in your life when you were most content and relaxed. When did you feel truly relaxed and happy?”

Max blushed. He thought of the moment James and he lay together after they had both cum, after James and made love to him.

Mitch noticed Max go red. “You don’t have to tell me. It will remain between us if you do but don’t feel obliged to tell me. Just take that moment and hold it in your mind.”

Max closed his eyes, took deep breaths, in and out, and thought of the moment he lay in James’ arms, his cum inside his arse. They both became one.

Mitch noticed Max become tense.

“What’s wrong, Max. What happened to that truly magical moment, your new happy place?”

“I miss him,” Max whispered.

“Who?” Mitch asked.

“My boyfriend,” Max whispered.

“Will you see him again?”

“Yes.”

“Then there is nothing to be sad about. When you see him again, think of that feeling deep in your guts, the endorphins that will flood your body, the feeling of elation as you hold each other again.”

Max smiled, his eyes still closed.

“See, Max. Even a sad moment, something you think is a sad moment, can be turned into a happy one. Learn to turn the sad into the happy. Concentrate on the happy. Don’t think about missing your boyfriend. Think of what will happen when you see him. Feel his arms around you, his lips against yours. That is a truly magic moment, and the time you are separated is only there to make the moment you see each other magic.”

Max relaxed.

“So, when you feel yourself getting worked up, stop what you’re doing. Sit down if you can, and concentrate on your breathing and think of that moment in your life.”

Mitch looked at Max and noticed his crotch. The bulge in his trousers was growing. Mitch knew he was thinking about his boyfriend.

Mitch decided to draw the session to a close. Max needed to lose his erection before he left. Mitch slowly got Max to return to the now and open his eyes.

“Do you think any of this will help you?” Mitch asked.

“I think so,” Max said.

“But this is just the start, and next session, I want to learn more about you. It will be a talking therapy session. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I want to ask you about you. Your life, growing up, your life experiences so far. Will that be alright with you?”

“That would be okay. When will that be?” Max asked.

“If you agree, I would like to see you Wednesday. We can do it after school if you wish.”

“Okay.” Max agreed.

“But, Max.” Mitch looked Max in the eyes. “If you feel you need to talk before then, just come and see me. If I’m with another student, I’ll see you as soon as possible. Do you promise to come and see me, Max?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“In the meantime. Remember the breathing technique and think of pleasant thoughts. I’ll give you a permission slip to give to any teacher who wants to punish you. It will refer any punishment to me, and we can talk about it together before anything happens. If I feel it is unjust, I have the power to prevent it.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Max said.

“But this is not a ‘get out of jail free’ card. If you deserve a punishment, it will happen. But you are a good boy, Max. I don’t think you will need this slip.” Mitch handed over the piece of paper.

Max smiled, “Thank you, Sir.”

Mitch noticed Max’s erection had subsided. “Do you know where your next lesson is?”

“Yes, It was just Thursday. It was a lesson I hadn’t had before. I think I should be okay from now on.”

“I’m pleased to hear it.” Mitch stood up. Max also rose to his feet. The session was over. Mitch held out his hand to shake Max’s. “You are a good lad, Max. Remember that, and I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Max smiled and left. Outside, Max took a deep breath. He felt better. Max checked his watch, and as he did, the bell rang. It was lunchtime. He’d spent the entire morning with Mitch, but he did feel better.

Max took a deep breath as he made his way to the lunchroom. He didn’t know who he would sit with. He had no friends yet. But he took some deep breaths and didn’t let it bother him.

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