Eternal Enquiry
by David Heulfryn
A sense of nothing surreptitiously takes control
To drag me away from my eternal enquiry.
Nothing now rules my thoughts constricting my mind.
Unable to focus, an empty space where I used to be.
Uncaring, Irritability and irrational is now me
My other personality dominates
Light-headed and distant
Retreating from my world
Unemotional, unsympathetic and intolerant has now become me
An inexplicable need to cry
Nothing feeds my hatred
Imploding on my faults
It is easier to succumb, to revert to type
To hate myself and to abuse myself
Drinking and eating to punish me
Pain and discomfort are my feelings
I need to feel, holding on as a reminder
I used to feel a lot more
Used to care and to love
I want someone to hold me
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