The last difficult post of the day was also written from my days when I was in the grip of depression. This poem/vignette is about self-harm, something which I do not encourage anyone to do and if you are thinking about it then please reach out for help, from anyone you trust or from trained professionals.
It was in one of my darkest days that I wrote this. A day that my head and body felt nothing. It was in this space that I understood why people self-harm. I would like to add that I never did, but when that moment dawned, I thought how nice it would be to feel something, anything, even pain.
The LGBT+ community suffers much more than other sectors of society. The Christmas period is often a difficult time for some people, I understand why, It can be for me too.
If you are suffering, then please talk to someone you trust. All life is precious. You are precious. We all have something to offer. You are not insignificant. People love you.
There’s a story coming up later, a refreshed version of one of my older ones. It is through my writing that you understand me.
I have a couple of difficult posts this morning. The first is my poem/vignette, “A Worthless Existence”.
It was written to try and explain how I feel when I descend into a deep depression. I find it difficult to read such things while I am feeling well as it reminds me of how bad it makes me feel.
Depression is a serious condition, it is not just a person feeling a bit down, for me it robs me of every joy in life and simply functioning is an immense effort.
For those that haven’t suffered, I hope it gives you a glimpse into the mind of those who suffer. For those that suffer, I hope it tells you that you are not alone and someone understands how you feel.
I know I say it often, but for those who are suffering, please reach out for help. I know it’s difficult.
This poem/vignette was written in mid 2006 after I had a minor operation. I was very anxious beforehand and writing this was a way for me to put my fears into perspective.
Adam visits the Cockaigne Christmas market with his mum and stepdad. It appears that Santa’s Grotto has competition as The Cockaigne Claus has come to town. Adam lines up to see what it is all about and pays him a visit. It is a visit he will remember!
It’s getting closer to the big day – just two more sleeps until Santa comes and empties his sack for us.
This Christmas is going to be different with many of us not able to visit our loved ones, friends and family. The rules for us are different depending on where we are and I encourage you all you comply with your local rules.
As a special present from me, I tossed off… (excuse me) wrote… a little episode in the life of the Walker family. Adam makes a return to the page as he encounters a new tradition in the town, The Cockaigne Claus.
Keep your eyes peeled to Screeve tomorrow as it will appear soon. Better still, subscribe to the mailing list and get an email when it appears, don’t worry your email will be kept safe and secure.
Wishing you all a very Merry Cockaigne Christmas and I invite you to get naked and raise a glass of your favourite tipple to this amazing town.
The Dartos and Noble family get closer as they go for a day out at the local leisure centre. Everyone, except Doug, goes naked and they quickly pair off. Leo finds the courage to take Freddie’s cock into his mouth, in front of everyone in the locker room.
I have been a little quiet of late and not given you updates or new stories for several weeks.
About a month ago my depression returned. I thought it was just writer’s block but it was something else. My lust for life dissipated and my enthusiasm for writing stories waned, I was consumed with self-doubt.
The afternoons are getting dark and the Covid-19 precautions are exacerbating my problem with greater feelings of isolation. This pandemic is extremely serious and we have to take it seriously. The UK now has a vaccine but even though I have pre-existing conditions which make me vulnerable, I have learnt that I am only in the 6th category on the priority list. So I may not be vaccinated until May/June next year. I fear that not much is going to change in the first half of next year.
But we have to get there first and it will be a tough Christmas for many.
I’m clambering out of my depression and I have started writing again this week. So I hope to have some updates soon.
In the meantime, please look after yourselves and look after those around you. If someone has gone quiet and is not responding, then send some friendly words without any expectations. Just say “Hi” and say you’ll be there if they need you.
Covid-19 has meant an increase in mental health issues, so let’s all support each other.
I may not always show it, but I really do appreciate all of you.
Owen is a 20-year-old marine biology student who identifies as non-binary and prefers the pronouns them/they. They have a lovely body and lovely penis and she likes the dangle of the balls, they’ve got a “lovely ballsac” and a “good set of plums”. She also says they have lovely brown eyes. She chose Owen for the date because of their corking plums. As you can tell by the number of pics, I really liked their cock.
Horatio is a 23-year-old jeweller from Yorkshire. He has lovely hair and a nice cock, she doesn’t mind a bit of hair every now and again. And the hair wouldn’t stop her going down on him. Eliminated because of his hair, feeling it would be just a little too much for her. Judging from my little GIF at the end, he certainly found the experience exciting.
Ed is a 22-year-old bartender from Sheffield. She liked his cock but he had rather a lot of foreskin for her liking. Eliminated because she’s used to a cut cock and wouldn’t know what to do with his foreskin. That’s why he pulled it back to show us all his shiny knob. He says he’s a grower and not a shower, but I liked what he showed us.