A Worthless Existence by David Heulfryn

I have a couple of difficult posts this morning. The first is my poem/vignette, “A Worthless Existence”.

It was written to try and explain how I feel when I descend into a deep depression. I find it difficult to read such things while I am feeling well as it reminds me of how bad it makes me feel.

Depression is a serious condition, it is not just a person feeling a bit down, for me it robs me of every joy in life and simply functioning is an immense effort.

For those that haven’t suffered, I hope it gives you a glimpse into the mind of those who suffer. For those that suffer, I hope it tells you that you are not alone and someone understands how you feel.

I know I say it often, but for those who are suffering, please reach out for help. I know it’s difficult.

My New Cockaigne Christmas Story

It’s getting closer to the big day – just two more sleeps until Santa comes and empties his sack for us.

This Christmas is going to be different with many of us not able to visit our loved ones, friends and family. The rules for us are different depending on where we are and I encourage you all you comply with your local rules.

As a special present from me, I tossed off… (excuse me) wrote… a little episode in the life of the Walker family. Adam makes a return to the page as he encounters a new tradition in the town, The Cockaigne Claus.

Keep your eyes peeled to Screeve tomorrow as it will appear soon. Better still, subscribe to the mailing list and get an email when it appears, don’t worry your email will be kept safe and secure.

Wishing you all a very Merry Cockaigne Christmas and I invite you to get naked and raise a glass of your favourite tipple to this amazing town.

Stay Safe and Look After Each Other

I have been a little quiet of late and not given you updates or new stories for several weeks.

About a month ago my depression returned. I thought it was just writer’s block but it was something else. My lust for life dissipated and my enthusiasm for writing stories waned, I was consumed with self-doubt.

The afternoons are getting dark and the Covid-19 precautions are exacerbating my problem with greater feelings of isolation. This pandemic is extremely serious and we have to take it seriously. The UK now has a vaccine but even though I have pre-existing conditions which make me vulnerable, I have learnt that I am only in the 6th category on the priority list. So I may not be vaccinated until May/June next year. I fear that not much is going to change in the first half of next year.

But we have to get there first and it will be a tough Christmas for many.

I’m clambering out of my depression and I have started writing again this week.  So I hope to have some updates soon.

In the meantime, please look after yourselves and look after those around you. If someone has gone quiet and is not responding, then send some friendly words without any expectations. Just say “Hi” and say you’ll be there if they need you.

Covid-19 has meant an increase in mental health issues, so let’s all support each other.

I may not always show it, but I really do appreciate all of you.