This story harks back to my university days in the mid-nineties and in my first year, during Rag Week, our halls of residence held a slave auction (I suspect that term is not appropriate these days and I do feel a little awkward using the term). The story also highlights my welsh heritage with the protagonist being called Iestyn ap Rhys. Iestyn is pronounced “Yes-Tin” and original welsh surnames were patronymic.
I remember when we had our “slave auction” and young freshers would go up on stage and would start to strip whenever someone donated money. I remember this one young guy went all the way down to his boxers and then tried to tease us, but he accidentally pulled his boxers to far down and I got a full view of the speedos he was wearing underneath. I was so disappointed. None of the guys went all the way and showed us their cocks. Such a shame.
I wrote this story back in 2006 and it was originally published on TommyHawksFantasyWorld, my fourth story for that website and the artwork is by Voyeur.
The artwork was a misunderstanding by the artist, the story is about a motorcycle racer, not a pushbike racer. But the artwork is good and was published with the story with an explainer.
Around the year 1999, I got into motorbikes and learnt to ride. I was never much into watching them race, but I loved riding them. Sitting astride a throbbing machine! I always had a thing for young slim guys in the onesie leathers, my brother used to wear them, often with nothing on underneath.
This story was my little fantasy of a biker in his leathers.
The last difficult post of the day was also written from my days when I was in the grip of depression. This poem/vignette is about self-harm, something which I do not encourage anyone to do and if you are thinking about it then please reach out for help, from anyone you trust or from trained professionals.
It was in one of my darkest days that I wrote this. A day that my head and body felt nothing. It was in this space that I understood why people self-harm. I would like to add that I never did, but when that moment dawned, I thought how nice it would be to feel something, anything, even pain.
The LGBT+ community suffers much more than other sectors of society. The Christmas period is often a difficult time for some people, I understand why, It can be for me too.
If you are suffering, then please talk to someone you trust. All life is precious. You are precious. We all have something to offer. You are not insignificant. People love you.
There’s a story coming up later, a refreshed version of one of my older ones. It is through my writing that you understand me.
I have a couple of difficult posts this morning. The first is my poem/vignette, “A Worthless Existence”.
It was written to try and explain how I feel when I descend into a deep depression. I find it difficult to read such things while I am feeling well as it reminds me of how bad it makes me feel.
Depression is a serious condition, it is not just a person feeling a bit down, for me it robs me of every joy in life and simply functioning is an immense effort.
For those that haven’t suffered, I hope it gives you a glimpse into the mind of those who suffer. For those that suffer, I hope it tells you that you are not alone and someone understands how you feel.
I know I say it often, but for those who are suffering, please reach out for help. I know it’s difficult.
This poem/vignette was written in mid 2006 after I had a minor operation. I was very anxious beforehand and writing this was a way for me to put my fears into perspective.
Adam visits the Cockaigne Christmas market with his mum and stepdad. It appears that Santa’s Grotto has competition as The Cockaigne Claus has come to town. Adam lines up to see what it is all about and pays him a visit. It is a visit he will remember!
It’s getting closer to the big day – just two more sleeps until Santa comes and empties his sack for us.
This Christmas is going to be different with many of us not able to visit our loved ones, friends and family. The rules for us are different depending on where we are and I encourage you all you comply with your local rules.
As a special present from me, I tossed off… (excuse me) wrote… a little episode in the life of the Walker family. Adam makes a return to the page as he encounters a new tradition in the town, The Cockaigne Claus.
Keep your eyes peeled to Screeve tomorrow as it will appear soon. Better still, subscribe to the mailing list and get an email when it appears, don’t worry your email will be kept safe and secure.
Wishing you all a very Merry Cockaigne Christmas and I invite you to get naked and raise a glass of your favourite tipple to this amazing town.
The Dartos and Noble family get closer as they go for a day out at the local leisure centre. Everyone, except Doug, goes naked and they quickly pair off. Leo finds the courage to take Freddie’s cock into his mouth, in front of everyone in the locker room.
I have been a little quiet of late and not given you updates or new stories for several weeks.
About a month ago my depression returned. I thought it was just writer’s block but it was something else. My lust for life dissipated and my enthusiasm for writing stories waned, I was consumed with self-doubt.
The afternoons are getting dark and the Covid-19 precautions are exacerbating my problem with greater feelings of isolation. This pandemic is extremely serious and we have to take it seriously. The UK now has a vaccine but even though I have pre-existing conditions which make me vulnerable, I have learnt that I am only in the 6th category on the priority list. So I may not be vaccinated until May/June next year. I fear that not much is going to change in the first half of next year.
But we have to get there first and it will be a tough Christmas for many.
I’m clambering out of my depression and I have started writing again this week. So I hope to have some updates soon.
In the meantime, please look after yourselves and look after those around you. If someone has gone quiet and is not responding, then send some friendly words without any expectations. Just say “Hi” and say you’ll be there if they need you.
Covid-19 has meant an increase in mental health issues, so let’s all support each other.
I may not always show it, but I really do appreciate all of you.
Leo wants to go further with Freddie but he is nervous and inexperienced. He goes to his brother, Archie, for help who teaches him some basics.