Bog Off
by Tom


Chapter 2: Alas poor Kelvin, for he knew not Tracy well

After all the excitement earlier that evening it was gone half-past ten by the time Kelvin thought about going up to bed having found the evening news on the television to be way above his intellectual station, besides he had the more pressing matter of an erection that required urgent attention. Having decided to quit before he became too confused once the isobars of the weather chart appeared on the screen he was ready to shamble in an awkward crab gait out of the smoky room. With his cock in danger of strangulation having become twisted in his clothing during much manipulation whilst matters of state had been discussed on the news it really was time to make an exit.

Looking suitably embarrassed he edged through the cloud of tobacco smoke and past his father who winked at him on being yet again reminded of his own misspent youth. But, it wasn’t just the sight of Kelvin that aroused Wayne for to use the vernacular, he was on a promise and had agreed with Doreen that once the boys were in bed he would be delighting her with all throbbing eight inches.

Once upstairs in the bathroom Kelvin found it very hard to aim his unbending organ and consequently he pee’d mainly on the floor while idly picking a few choice items from his pubic region waiting for the flow to stop. Hoping that Jason had gone to sleep he tip-toed across the landing and slowly pushed open the bedroom door only to be disappointed to see the light still on and comics scattered around the floor. Having been very excited earlier by Kelvin’s fairly explosive performance, Jason might have been in bed, but had nevertheless been waiting with hot, clammy cock in hot, clammy hand for his brother to appear hoping that something sexual would develop. To have resisted the pleasures of the flesh whilst awake and in bed was something of a miracle for Jason who had been passing the time by stretching his brain reading, albeit with pictorial help some old copies of the Beano.

“Why ain’t yer gone to sleep?” grunted Kelvin who had been planning to masturbate whilst he explored his own inner sanctum without being under brotherly observation.

“‘cause I’s bin waiting for yer.”

“Balls, why?”

“Thought yer’d wanna have a gert wank like when us shared the room before.” Jason’s cock was now not only hot and clammy, but had developed a damp eye.

“I dunno.” Kelvin turned away from Jason and reached inside his jeans to straighten matters out yet again.

“Bet yer hard.” volunteered Jason encouragingly. “I is.”

“Yer always bloody is!” he sniffed. “Tell yer wot then dickhead…”

“Bog off!” interrupted Jason. “I ain’t no fucking dickhead!”

“Yer fucking is, ‘cause me dick’s gonna going in yer mouth and yer gonna suck it, so don’t d’yer see, then yer really be a fucking gert dickhead! Got it?”

“Nah, I ain’t doing that again ‘cause it smells and I bet yer ain’t washed it since the last time!”

“Yer a cheeky little git! Yer’s ain’t no better, I remembers yer picking bits off it like I does!”

“Yeah, but nothing like then gert big lumps of smelly stuff like wot’s stuck on yer’s!”

Kelvin couldn’t really argue with that for it was the truth and he only had to unzip his fly to confirm the aroma. It was then he had his brainwave and decided however disgusting it was, it was still worth suggesting to Jason for quite obviously he really wanted some form of brotherly type sexual act.

“Hey, tell yer wot then dickhead, alright well ‘spose I picks the lumps off first… and when yer sucks it I let’s yer look at me dirty book?”

“Wot the one yer was wanking over when yer’s bust yer bed?”

Jason’s cock twitched. Naughty picture books in his tender young world were in very, very short supply especially with details of what was actually between the female legs. Conversely Kelvin’s cock was always available and as yet the truly repulsive offer sans cheese had not yet been entirely refused out of hand. Could this his big chance to look and learn?

“Yeah, it’s got some gert pics of fanny’s and that.” Kelvin’s hand was already making it’s way inside his sticky Guptha’s International lime green underpants replete with contrasting yellow stains. “But, don’t yer get no cum stuff on it, ‘cause it ain’t mine!”

“Cor… I only seen pictures of tits, so.. so, fanny’s is that’s wot they girls got is it? So, so… wot’s they look like?” enthused Jason as yet another small tear appeared from the single eye beneath the sheet.

“Well they’s bits looks a bit slimy to me!” replied Kelvin trying to sound as though he knew everything, but obviously didn’t. “The hole don’t look very big neither!”

“Cor… oh, what hole?” unable to stop himself Jason squeezed his cock and looked up in wonder, just how did his brother know so much. “Wot’s, wot’s the hole like then?”

“Yer too young to know, see.. it’s where yer puts yer willy innit when yer fucks ’em!”

“Yer do?” Jason was hanging on every word, a tiny drip was now hanging from his cock.

“Ah, yeah, if it’s big enough… yer willy that is!” Kelvin continued in a superior frame of mind. “See kid, them girls gotta a sorta bum hole at the front as well as one at the back!”

“Have yer seen one then.. I mean.. like.. so yer seen one have yer.. like not in dirty book or nothing, but, but I means yer seen a real live girls bits?” gasped Jason in awe, his grip tightening below the sheets. “Is the front hole like yer, well I means, like uumm.. like yer… bumhole at the back?”

“Well.. not my bumhole, no yer silly sod!”

“So do they’s front bum look like they’s back bum hole then or is it a difference sorta bum hole?” even Jason looked confused after his utterance.

“Yer wot?”

Kelvin looked blank and had to think quickly for his knowledge was only based on what he had seen himself earlier that evening in the magazine and of course what he knew of his very own bumhole when crouching over the bathroom mirror.

“Does they smell or, or anything?” gabbled Jason, who innocently also used the very same bathroom mirror for the very same purpose. “Has they got hairy front bum holes then?”

“Well..” Kelvin’s brain had to catch up, he played for time whilst toying with his cock inside his Guptha’s International finest imitation lime green and semen impregnated Y-fronts, “yeah.. uumm…”

“Wot’s… I means is.. does they make sorta cummy slimy stuff then?”

Entirely based on pre-teenage rumour Jason’s questions were as relentless as his heavy masturbation schedule. It didn’t seem as though he were even waiting for an answer before moving onto the next question which was very lucky for Kelvin didn’t have any of the answers, well correct answers that were.

“Uumm… yeah, that’s when they sorta cums innit?” wisely Kelvin moved quickly on. “So then, well is yer gonna suck me willy or not?”

“Not if yer got them gert lumps of cheesy stuff like last time!”

“Yer might then?” through his pocket Kelvin had already retracted his foreskin and was rubbing disgusting gooey lumps off into the very absorbent folds of his Guptha’s International finest imitation lime green and semen impregnated Y-fronts.

“Might? So… well, yer could wash it?”

Jason was rightly proud he washed his during his weekly bath whether it needed it or not. That was after a cumulative minimum of three wanks a day equating to some twenty plus ejaculations a week and leaving the residual deposits to mature in his foreskin for the days in between.

“Nah, too fucking messy, dipping it in water and all that!”

“Well, then I ain’t too sure about sucking it.”

For Jason, memories of the last occasion replete with repulsive taste and unwanted nibbles were slowly coming back. Yet on the other hand what self-respecting nearly thirteen year old wouldn’t want to see close-up pictures of ladies disporting their moist naughty bits and front bum holes? It really was a brain stretching dilemma as was the question of just what did a front bum hole look like?

Whilst Jason pondered the big question, Kelvin had unusually also started to think and managed to cast his mind back to the previous year when he had almost put a clammy hand onto a female naughty bit. It was though a very sad tale to recall for poor Kelvin had not only to been thoroughly humiliated, but had since been turned off girls of the opposite sex unless they were on the printed page.

In any event, to meet with a girl sounded highly improbable for Kelvin at the best of times, but it was perfectly true. Back then one of the boys in his class was extolling the virtues of an exceptionally frisky thirteen year old girl called Tracy that he had heard about and with boys being boys with definite masturbatory tendencies they were naturally intrigued. Not that the boy in question had ever sampled her wares, but was merely furthering the rumours that she would allow enquiring boys to inspect and touch her girly bits in exchange for coin of the realm.

Kelvin, who at that time was marginally less repulsive by way of personal hygiene, even though his underpants confirmed life was one continual ejaculation, was very, very interested and finally ascertained where she plied her trade. Sadly, unbeknown to Kelvin it transpired that the girl’s family were well known trouble makers and had only been placed in temporary accommodation on the council estate until they could be suitably rehoused.

However, it took him a few days and many, many, many orgasms before he finally decided to be brave and make contact with her, so without telling anyone else one fine day after school he set off on his quest. Being Kelvin he was totally overcome with the situation and unsurprisingly ejaculated into his briefs with excitement on the way. Waiting around and playing with himself meant he was on the cusp of further ejaculation when she finally appeared, so it was with some difficulty that he managed to hold back as he bravely, if obviously very, very nervously engaged her in a monosyllabic conversation to ascertain the terms of business.

The sum total of which was he discovered that she wanted the vast sum of a pound for her services and for that would reveal all in an empty lock-up garage on the estate. A pound at that time was a lot of money for Kelvin to find, but driven by constant masturbation, involuntary orgasms and numerous wet dreams the thoughts of going where no boy in his class had so far gone before drove him onwards. Virtually blinded by excessive masturbation and convinced he would become a sexual guru with unrivalled knowledge of what a girl’s girly bit were all about there was, he convinced himself to be no going back.

Eventually, with the money scrimped and saved a date was set and the meeting arranged to take place in the same block of lock-up garages on the council estate one day immediately after school. On the appointed day, as was usual for Kelvin he masturbated his way through the morning lessons and dinner break aiming to then stop and save himself for the meeting at the end of afternoon. Unfortunately, with his genitalia on a pubic hair trigger his gonads thought otherwise and were not used to be kept waiting for pressure relief. So, at around three in the afternoon they relieved themselves whilst walking into his final lesson of the day culminating in a truly tremendous involuntary orgasm which flooded his underpants with spunk.

Thereafter he stood no chance for having to sit or walk about with his cock sliding around in the wet briefs only served to arouse him further, so with school finally over he excitedly rushed out of the gates to his meeting. Unfortunately or rather predictably in his case, he was now so aroused that with the free movement of his cock he managed to trigger another orgasm even as he ran to the meeting. Arriving breathless with vast quantities of semen now having soaked right though the trousers and shimmering in the sunlight he stood there waiting as the balance of the discharge slithered down between his thighs.

Alas poor Kelvin, for he knew Tracy not well. Perchance, as he was soon discover his dreams and indeed there had been very many with the majority being wet, that the meeting was not to be quite as expected. In fact it was to bear no relation to his wild fantasies verging on sexual euphoria nor to include a slippery hands-on course in pleasures of the moist pink female flesh.

Oh woe. Such pain. Tracy was not to be seen. Distraught, Kelvin had little else to do other than play with himself though the specially enlarged holes of his very soggy trouser pockets and pray that she would appear before he ejaculated yet again.

Finally, from a litter strewn alleyway between two pairs of garages a girls voice screeched a memorable greeting.

“Oi you!”

“Oh fuck me, she’s yer!” he gasped on swinging round to see it was indeed his beau ideal, framed by overgrown grass, weeds, a discarded pram and the twisted up-and-over garage door. Whilst his heart bumped, his cock excitedly twitched to deposit even more slime into his sperm laden Guptha’s International bargain underwear.

All of barely thirteen and truthfully looking as though she was going on a very razzled twenty-three after a debauched night out with an entire platoon of drunken soldiers Tracy stood there pouting before him, legs akimbo waiting for a favourable response.

Somehow, thought Kelvin in his simplistic way, surely her tits have got a lot bigger? For indeed they had! Tracy was wearing her elder sisters bra which had been stuffed with her junior school scarf and there could be no mistake that young Tracy was most certainly out to entice. What a vision thought Kelvin, eying the thin legs that presumably went all the way up to a bottom hidden by the very shortest of short miniskirts. Tottering precariously in her elder sisters red stiletto heels she looked disdainfully at Kelvin and pointedly took a long second look at his bulging and so obviously semen soaked trousers. Satisfied that she had him suitably aroused she stubbed out the cigarette end with her red pointed foot and seductively exhaled smoke through yellowing teeth framed by heavily rouged lips.

“Don’t just stand there wanking, get in this fucking garage and let’s get on with it!”

Embarrassed, frightened, anxious, utterly petrified yet barely able to hold another ejaculation at bay Kelvin grinned inanely and walked very awkwardly under the deranged up-and-over door to stand in the opening. Desperately hoping his frayed hand-me-down blazer would cover at least some of the embarrassment of stains that adorned his trousers he pushed a hand sticky with semen into the blazer pocket and grabbed at the handful of precious coins.

“D’yer… d’yer, wants the money?” he stuttered very nervously.

“Nah. Not yet.” replied Tracy scornfully as she clattered towards him in her oversize shoes. “After all that wanking that yer been doing I wants to see yer cock before we does anything else!”

“Yer fucking ain’t, so fuck off!” shocked at the very idea of exposing his much abused organ to an actual live girl of the opposite sex he pulled his blazer very defensively across his front and redistributed vast amounts of semen in the process.

“Well fuck yer an’ all too!” she snarled through the rouged lips.

Kelvin was stuck for a meaningful reply, bereft of brainpower he didn’t know what to do, all he could do was shove his hand deeper though his trouser pocket and comfort his leaking cock.

“I reckons me ten year old brother’s got a bigger bleeding cock than yer’s is!” with that she pushed a pair of nicotine stained fingers hand under the front of her minuscule miniskirt and blew him a kiss. “Yer wouldn’t know wot to fucking do with this anyway!”

After all the time he had spent fantasising and masturbating over what was to be, yet now seemed not quite to be, the comment and minimal flash of damp pink girls knickers were as good as a red rag to a bull or something along those lines.

“I’ll fucking show yer!” he exclaimed excitedly grabbing at the front of his trousers with such force that the clasp on the waistband  pinged off into the middle distance as the zip was forced down.

“Fucking hell!” breathed Tracy, her vocabulary being somewhat curtailed by the excitement of it all. She stared in awe at the drooping, oozing mess that were once another bargain pair of Guptha’s International finest boys underpants, replete with large cartoons of Spiderman cavorting on a heavily spunk stained spiders web.

“Fucking hell!” reiterated Kelvin having forgotten what he was wearing and how silly he looked. No matter, for matters were now moving at quite a rate and seemed quite unstoppable.

“Fucking hell!” gasped Tracy watching Kelvin pulling the squelchy Spiderman to one side and so allowing his far from insignificant boyhood to twang into full view.

“Fuck yer ten yer old brother!” cried Kelvin proudly pulling the wrinkled foreskin back and inadvertently depositing several large blobs of spunk over his uniform.

“Fuck!” Tracy’s moist fingers disappeared quickly up under her miniskirt once more.

“Oh no.. fuck… fuck… fuck!”

Kelvin’s eyes slowly closed and he began to shudder, impossible as it may have appeared his cock had once more begun to involuntarily distribute long strings of semen over everything within a five foot radius. The embarrassment of it!

“Fuck!” Tracy couldn’t take her eyes off it, her two fingers squelched in unison.

“Fuck!” agreed Kelvin looking quite exhausted, his legs wobbling he leant against the door frame as his cock continued to fire spunk over everything.

“Fuck! Yer a dirty fucker yer’s even got bleeding cum over me skirt!” she cried in disgust pointing to it, although as Kelvin noticed she did lick her fingers!

“Fuck!” agreed Kelvin, now quite unsure what was going to happen next.

Disgusted or not, a very moist and fixated Tracy watched the last bubble at the end of his cock burst. On realising that Kelvin was obviously so embarrassed with his unscheduled performance that he couldn’t even look her in the face she decided to bring matters to a head. The fact that in the process she had really enjoyed a truly bravo and very instructive, not to say very erotic show really was a true bonus.

“Now I’ll take yer fucking money.” she demanded holding out her hand before Kelvin had a chance to even put his cock back inside his drooping Spiderman briefs.


Looking quite ridiculous in his partially undressed state he groped around in the pockets of his blazer, his hands slimy with semen he eventually produce a collection of small change which she eagerly grabbed with her moist fingers. For him a pound at that time was a lot of money and he had really had to scrabble around to raise it, he stared hopefully at Tracy’s miniskirt as she counted the money into her handbag.

“It’s right innit?” said Kelvin, his cock already twitching in readiness despite only just having discharged. “I’ll pull me trousers up and then us can..”

“And then… us is gonna do wot?” a large shadow now blocked out the sunlight to the garage.

“Eeeeek!” squeaked Kelvin looking up to see the burly figure of Tracy’s twenty-two year old and decidedly neanderthal brother towering above him.

“I’ll smash yer fucking head in kid if yer’s bin fucking about with me baby sister!”

And, so the trap closed on the second such feckless oversexed youth of that week.

Baby sister Tracy laughed as poor Kelvin who having been totally humiliated and scared out of his few wit’s shot off into the distance clutching pulling up his trousers up as he went. Big brother Kyle grinned as he took half the money and then set off to buy some more cigarettes. Tracy, who it has to be said had become somewhat aroused after Kelvin’s performance turned to face the darkened garage and looked furtively around before again plunging a brace of fingers deep inside to confirm that girls could cum anywhere, anytime and just as quickly as boys!

“Kelv, wot’s yer bleeding doing, yer gone sleep?”

Jason’s question accompanied by a slap across the plump bottom brought Kelvin quickly back to the present and allowed him to leave the painful memories of Tracy and the only time he had ever got anywhere near touching a moist girly mound.


Kelvin looked down to see Jason had obviously been unable to wait any longer. Lying on the bed with in his Batman and Robin pyjamas, although as incorrectly labelled by the infamously inferior clothing suppliers to Guptha’s International emporium as Ratman and Bobin. Whatever, he was ready for action with the Ratman trousers rucked around his ankles exposing a very, very hard four and something inches worth of well rubbed cock, the head almost glowed as it peeped out of the foreskin.

“Well let’s bleeding well do something, ‘cause we ain’t done nothing together for ages.” said Jason excitedly grasping his organ.

“I ‘spose, so yer is gonna suck me then?”

“Nah, I might toss yer off, but I ain’t sucking it till yer’ve washed it.”

“You little sod, well yer ain’t seeing me dirty book then.”

“Oh.. fuck!” Jason thought for a moment and he really, really wanted to see the magazine. “Well show it us yer willy first then.”

Approaching the side of the bed Kelvin allowed his jeans to fall down and presented the bulging, spunk soaked Guptha’s International lime green briefs for inspection.

“Shit, they stinks!” Jason wrinkled up his nose. “Well get yer knob out so’s I can see it ‘cause I ain’t bleeding well touching none of that sticky muck!”

“Wot’s wrong with yer, ain’t nothing wrong with it.” Kelvin pulled the briefs down to his knees and pushed the exposed head of his erection towards Jason’s face.

“Fucking hell!” exclaimed Jason on being confronted with the oozing monster, he moved back and after a few moments of arm’s length visual examination gave his verdict. “Wot’s all them yellowy fucking white lumpy bits stuck to it?”

“Nothing to worry about, just a bit of cock dandruff innit! Oh just fucking suck it!”

“Cock dandruff! I ain’t never heard of that!”

“Oh, just bloody get on with it.”

“Well I ain’t fucking touching it, dandruff or no fucking cock dandruff,” said Jason firmly, “so if yer ain’t gonna wanna wash it I’ll just have a wank instead!”

“Cheeky little git!” Kelvin hauled up his sagging briefs. “Right… I’ll fucking wash it!”

“Well leave us the magazine while yer does it then.”

“Nah, yer can piss off and bleeding wait for it!”

Once in the bathroom and having examined the state of his cock even Kelvin had to admit it was verging on ripe! Balanced over the basin, a very awkward act in itself considering he still had a major erection, he took comfort in using Jason’s prized Superman flannel to scour a proportion of bacterium and lumpy bits from the more accessible crevices. Naturally leaving the flannel unrinsed he concluded his hard work by peeing in the basin to flush the more disgusting detritus down the plughole before returning to the bedroom.

“Yer done it then?” enquired Jason looking up, he had returned to his comics and the odd rub of his cock to keep it erect. “Let’s have a butchers then.”

“Course I fucking have.” said Kelvin once again unveiling his prized organ.

“Oh yeah?” Jason pulled a face, not a happy face.

“Yeah,” said Kelvin proudly waving his appendage in the air like a magic wand, “you could eat yer fucking dinner off it now!”

“And get bleeding poisoned! Fucking bog off, I ain’t eating nothing off the end of that thing!” Jason was obviously more than unimpressed. “Well pull yer end bit back ‘cause I still wanna see wot’s still underneath before I goes sucking it.”

“Oh.” Kelvin knew very well the washing had been a decidedly cursory event. “Well just fucking toss me off then!”

“I bloody knew it!” Jason started to laugh. “Where’s yer dirty book then?”

“Yer, but yer only allowed to look at it while yer wanking me.. so make it last!”

By cunning sleight of hand Kelvin magically produced the magazine so Jason couldn’t see where it was hidden, he passed it to the eagerly waiting hands.

“Hey Kelv listen, tell yer wot… I was told today of something that might do yer or that dirty minded mate of yer’s Bogbrush… sorry I means Dean!” Jason grinned as he took the magazine. “See if yer goes to that public bog, the one by the gert carpark near where that castle place is, there’s some fat kid who hangs about there and he’ll let yer play with him for a packet of fags!”

“His name’s Dean innit, ain’t fucking Bogbrush!” said Kelvin defensively coming to the aid of his best friend. Nevertheless he was all ears for it sounded very exciting especially as Dean could almost rival him for masturbatory prowess. “Who’s told yer that then?”

Despite the denial Kelvin knew very well that to most of Dean’s more intimate friends, by virtue of his thin body and strange haircut he was indeed known as Bogbrush. And, by intimate that meant very much hands on intimacy for he and Dean had been inside each others underwear and orifices since junior school. With his pronounced leanings to the boy side of things there was no doubt Dean would be more than interested in the news.

“It were me mate Billie at school wunnit, says his gert big brother went there and fucked this fat kid up his bum!”

“Where? Where?” gasped Kelvin excitedly. “Where’s this bloody bog then? Wot’s his name then? How old is he?”

“By that gert park place, don’t yer bloody know nothing? Dad took us there to play football or something, don’t yer remember?” replied Jason his gaze shifting between the oozing fanny in the magazine and the reddened head of his cock now grasped tightly in his hand.

“Oh yeah… now, I knows where yer means.” Kelvin replied slowly as he too was preoccupied and grasping his own cock. “Wot’s say his name is, how old is he?”

“I think he said it were Dipstick or something!” Jason’s interest was rapidly waning, something more important was about to happen. “I dunno do us, I think’s he said seventeen or something like that.”

“Dipstick?” repeated Kelvin dreamily already visualising a visit with Bogbrush.

Jason merely grunted for at that very moment three small squirts of semen had just been sent into the stratosphere.


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