The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of
The sun rose early on the small farm but its family was still asleep. Seems the home “cumming” was everything Toome dreamed of. And well, that rather makes everyone else pretty happy too. Even the spectators were pleased.
“Think we should wake them up for breakfast?” Aunt Gladys asked Becky.
“No, they played real late last night. They probably need their rest.”
“Bet they’re all neked up in there, ya rekon?”
“No, they’re . . . probably hungry. Let’s go wake them up!”
“Watch that third step, squeaks sumpin fierce. Sure to wake ‘em up.”
“But, isn’t that what we want to do anyways?”
“Not before we open the door, silly girl. If that’s all we wanted, we could have screamed from down stairs.”
Giggling, “Oh right, what was I thinking?” Becky whispered, quietly opening the door to find a sleeping pile of naked boys. Arms and legs flopped every which way. Becky and Gladys stood leaning against the door frame sipping their morning tea with both hands on the cup as they examined the tightly knotted pile of rigid boy flesh sprawled before them.
Andy was laying with his head on Michael’s tummy, while Michael had his on Toome’s with his hand on his package, and of course they were all sporting morning wood. Toome’s feet were woven together with Markie’s. Markie had his head on the soft of Andy’s stomach, his mouth almost touching the firm piece of Andy in his hand. The scene had an almost Escher appearance to it, not being able to tell who was above or below the next. They just stared as they drank their tea.
“Would ya look at that?” Gladys said. “When I was young, ya couldn’t see one without a wedding ring and a shotgun. Here it almost looks like their growing wild in the carpet, the way they’re all sticking up that way.” She giggled, “Almost makes me want to pick a bouquet!”
Michael slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on the images in the doorway. Realizing he was completely on display, he rolled over quickly, trying to hide his greatly enlarged morning wood.
“Oh, SHIT!” He whispered as loud as he could. Andy’s head flopped as the boy rolled underneath him and he heard the exclamation. They were all waking up. Gladys looked at Becky with a wide eyed grin as they said together, “Oh, damn!” and looked back at Toome who was now standing and stretching, his arms extended as high as he could and his absolute lack of modesty protruding out from his slim little washboard tummy. They were all smiling and waking up, Markie making the first run for the toilet. Becky and Gladys turned and headed back down the stairs, “Y’all hurry up now, and we’ll whip up some breakfast.”
Toomie looked around as he answered. “OK, we’ll be right down.” But then he looked around a bit, “Oh Damn,” he whispered, and then ran to the door. Looking down the steps he said, “Uh, we might be a few minutes. Got some (looking back into the room) things to take care of first. So don’t make the toast yet.” He withdrew and closed the door behind him and moments later a squealing ruckus broke out. The squealing got louder for a moment as Markie opened the door and returned to the fray, closing it again behind him.
Gladys and Becky stopped, looking back up the stairs again, “Damn, the way that boy likes to suck, he could work for Hoover when he grows up.”
Becky broke into a fit of laughter as they headed for the kitchen to feed what they were sure was going to be a gaggle of hungry boys in just a few minutes.
“So, what are your plans then today?” Becky asked Andy.
“Well it’s getting pretty cool out so I thought we might go and meet the new kid over at Tad’s . . . the Gay farm. I figure we’ll just hang there for a while and then maybe show Michael around the neighborhood. Maybe introduce him to Gary and Ben.”
“What about the glen?” Becky asked quietly over her tea.
Andy stopped for a moment and looked down at the table for a moment and the room went quiet. Through quiet eyes, with just a hint of wetness, he said, “It’s not very pretty there in the fall. Everything is, uh, it’s not green, momma. And I don’t think I’m near ready for that yet.” As a single tear rolled from his eyes, he said, “Excuse me, please.” He spun from the table without waiting for an answer. Michael started after him, then paused and looked at Becky as if asking permission. She nodded and he ran from the room.
Michael caught up to him on the porch. He stood there in his jeans and a t-shirt. His hands stuck in his pockets, looking over towards the Gay farm. He leaned his shoulder against the upright pole of the porch. Michael quietly slipped his arms over his shoulders and hugged him from behind tightly.
“Michael, I think I want to go back to the hospital. I think I left too soon. I think I need some of Jackie’s fast sadness medicine.”
Michael turned him to face him, gently kissed him on the lips and pulled his weeping body into his and held him as he cried it out. Becky came out and Michael spoke to her. “He thinks he may want to go back to the hospital. Will you hug him while I go get our medicines? He may change his mind after he has his sadness meds.”
Becky pulled them both in and gently kissed Michael on the forehead, then released him as she guided Andy back inside, “Come on honey, its cold out here. Let’s go in the sitting room.” Michael returned to the sitting room and gave Andy his pills.
“I took mine too,” he said. He stood there and looked at Andy in Becky’s arms and just wished.
Becky looked up and saw the longing in his sweet eyes and patted the couch next to her. He sat down and she wrapped her arm around him as he laid his head against her. He looked at Andy and was grateful not to be alone.
“Honey, let’s wait for your meds to kick in. If you still feel the same way in a bit then we’ll call Dr. Raburn. If you need to go back, then we will take you. But you knew this was going to be tough. I think it will be for the first few days. So take it slowly at first.”
Andy didn’t speak or cry loudly. Just a few lonely tears rolled every few minutes. Michael reached over and placed his palm beside his face and with his thumb, ever so gently, wiped away the tear. Michael looked at him as he sat up. He spoke as if Becky weren’t even there.
“Andy, I love you and I need you. We can’t run back to the hospital every time we’re sad. And I don’t think they will take both of us back unless we are both a real mess. If you want we can go upstairs and curl up on your bed for a bit. It would be almost like we were in the hospital together; just until the sadness goes away.”
“That’s a good idea honey,” Becky said, “Unless you just want to lay here, I’ll hold you as long as you need held.” Michael looked at him and read his choice in his eyes. Michael stood up and took his hand, “Come on, we’ll go hide in the dark from the sadness like we did in the hospital.”
Andy kissed his mom, “Your hugs are the best Mom hugs in the world. And I really can’t explain it, please don’t be upset, but I need Michael’s hugs in the dark right now.”
“It’s alright honey, I’ll be fine. You just do what ever you need to do to get through this. I’ll be here if you need me.”
The boys went upstairs and disappeared into the bedroom. Toome and Markie kissed Becky and said they were going over to Ben and Gary’s street to play.
Gladys found Becky sitting in the stillness of the sitting room. She had a faraway look to her. “You alright darlin’?” She said, putting her hand on her knee.
“Oh, yes,” she said, trying to compose herself. She was so deep in thought she didn’t see her come in.
“It’s just that, well, I seem to be unable to sooth my own son’s grief. A mother’s hugs should be able to do that.”
“Look Becky, he’ll come round. Give him some time. These are unusual circumstances. He’s on the fast track for mendin’. This usually takes years to get over sumpin’ like this, not months. The only reason it is going this well and this fast is because them two boys has a like need. Don’t short change yourself. He’ll be a needin’ you plenty soon. You wait and see. You think we should maybe call that Doctor and tell him wha’s goin’ on?”
“Well I don’t think we need to bother him over every tear. Let’s wait until we need him. Tears are expected. Meds need to be on time though and I was late getting it to them. I figured they needed the sleep more. I guess I was wrong.”
“Well, come on in the kitchen and I’ll make us some tea. Guaranteed to make ya feel better.”
“Thanks, but since when did tea make anyone feel better?”
“Since I started makin’ it with a bit of my recipe!”
“Are you feeling better now Andy?”
“Better Michael, I think the meds are finally kickin’ in.”
“How can you tell? Is the sadness gone away?”
“No, not yet, but that will come soon I’m sure.”
“Then how can you tell the meds are working?”
“Simple, every time we take them, your hand ends up on my package. Then right about the time I can start feeling them . . . your mouth ends up . . . oh fuck, you do that good. Oh ya mmm . . .mmm, oh ya, goodbye sadness oh . . Shit. Michael don’t swirl like that. Oh fuck, Michael you’re gonna get . . . a . . . mouth full, Oh, OOOOh, OOOh!”
“Mmmm, ya I guess you’re right. Those meds work fast. Come here, kiss me. Then I’m gonna check your levels.” Andy smiled in the darkness, pulling Michael up to his lips. Michael resisting all the way up as he kept pausing to kiss another part.
“Ah, dang, Markie. Why is it, every time we come through here now, you call that damn goat. It never wants to leave me alone! See, oh jeeze. Come on Markie. Let’s just go see if Ben and Gary are out playing yet. Hold him there while I climb the fence. Hey, what are ya doin’? Oh damn, I’m next. I think he likes you too! Want me to hold his tail up for ya?”
“Come on Michael, let’s get up. We can’t live in this bed the rest of our lives. Time to meet the neighbors.” The boys got up and got dressed in jeans and T-shirts.
“You know Andy, I know this sounds wrong but I gotta say it anyways. I’m not happy that this happened to either of us, but I’m not sorry it happened either. If the chain of things hadn’t happened as it did, I would never know you, would never have had a decent night’s rest where I felt safe, and would never have felt needed.” He fought back the tears desperately.
Andy grabbed him around his waist and pulled the pockets on his jeans forward into him so that his young relaxed boyhood rubbed against Michael’s. He leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. “I understand what you are saying Michael. I love you too. And I will be here for you.” He kissed him gently on the lips. A soft, gentle, loving kiss, “Come on, before we end up back in bed again.” And he pulled him towards the door.
Headed down the steps, he wandered into the kitchen to find Becky nursing a glass of tea.
“Hi Mom, you alright? We’re going to go out for a bit. I don’t expect we will be too long. Love you.” He kissed them both and Michael did too, beaming as he did. He almost skipped out of the room.
“Well, it looks like you are doing wonders for Michael anyways.” Gladys said, grinning. “I think that calls for another little taste, what do ya think. I’ll get it.”
Michael and Andy made their way over to the Gay farm. Andy stepped lively, trying his best not to acknowledge the permanent lump in his throat. As they walked up to the porch, Andy noticed that the letters stating that the family name was “Gay” had been removed. The wood behind the letters was darker than that which had been bleached for years by the sun. It seemed almost symbolic to Andy as he looked at it. They are just shadows now, he thought. Summoning all his courage, he stepped up on the porch. As he reached to knock he reminisced on how it always summoned the dogs. He looked right to see if Tad was standing just off the porch slightly around the corner. He sucked a gulp of air as the sadness started to move in. The door opened.
“Hello,” a very friendly female voice said through the screen.
“Hi,” Andrew said. “I’m Andrew and this is Michael. We live next door. We just stopped by to say hello. My Mom said your son is about our age. Is he around?”
“Ya, let me get him. Would you like to come in?”
“Ah, well, if it’s all the same to you ma’am, I think I’d like to stay out here for now. I . . . I (he choked up but recovered.) I think it would be better for me to wait here ma’am, but thank you very much.”
“Sure, no problem. I’ll be right back.”
It was just a few moments later when a young boy appeared at the door and stepped out on the porch. His look was a contrast to when he arrived there. His hair was back to its wispy coal black and most of the piercings were gone. He had one in his eyebrow and one in the corner of his lower lip.
“Wassup?” he said as he stepped out on the porch and stuck his hand out and brushed finger tips and smacked knuckles with Andy.
“You must be Andy, from next door.”
“Ya,” Andy said smiling, and putting his hands in the front pockets of his Jeans. “And this is my friend, Michael.”
“Hey, wassup.” he said putting his hand out.
Michael stared, grinning, but didn’t move. Andy gave him a nudge and he snapped back. “Oh, sorry,” he said. “I think my brain got stuck. Good meds,” he said, as he tried to brush fingers and to do the knuckle thing which was now even more awkward.
“Damn, if it’s that good, did you bring enough for all of us?” Randal said, smiling.
“I’m Randal, just in case you were in space when we said it a minute ago. You guys want to come in?”
“Sure!” Michael blurted out and they turned for the door. Andrew paused, took a breath and followed them inside.
“So, when you guys get out? The lady we rented the house from said you guys were in the hospital. Man, that’s fucked up. But you guys are over it now, huh?”
“Oh, ya sure, I mean of course.” Michael stammered, staring at the youth before him. “Right, Andy?”
“Oh, uh, ya. Michael is over it completely. I still have a few issues to work through though.” Andy said, not looking at Randal or Michael. He just looked around. He half felt that Tad may walk around a corner at any minute.
“Oh ya right. Sorry man, I forgot this was the place where your sig lived. Must be tough coming back here.”
“Uh ya, it is, a little.” Andy said with his brow furrowed slightly.
“You guys want to come up to my room and play some games; I got a PS3?”
“Ya sure, ah what games you got?” Michael asked, following Randal up the stairs.
“Uh, look uh, Michael, I’m just going to head on back. Randal, it was great meeting you, I’ll see ya around. I . . . I got a bit of a head ache.”
Randal said, “Sure, no problem,” but Andy didn’t hear it. He had bolted out of the house breathing heavy. He turned and started to go back to the house, but stopped. He didn’t want to go back there either. He looked towards the glen and started walking towards it.
“Hey, isn’t that Andy? I thought he had a headache. Don’t you guys live over in the farm just across the field?”
Michael jumped up and looked out the window. It was Andy, and he was headed for the glen. “I gotta go.” Michael said, as he ran out the door. Randal followed, grabbing his coat on the way out. They broke into a run across the field towards the glen.
They stopped to catch their breath and Randal asked “Hey, isn’t that where his lover died; in that glen?”
“I think so,” Michael said. “I don’t know for sure. We haven’t gone there yet.”
“Didn’t Andy . . . you know, try and kill himself there, too?”
“Ya,” Michael said, breaking into a run again. They got to the edge of the glen. The fall leaves lay on the ground. It was lifeless. The boys followed the path, then he saw him. He was up on the first ledge kneeling down.
“Hey,” Michael said. “You alright?”
Andy sat back against the rock looking at something in his hand. “Ya. I’m alright,” he said weakly.
“Uh, Andy? How do we get up there?” Michael asked, eager to get close to him.
Andy pointed, “Follow the path to your left and come up by the waters edge. There are roots to hang on to so you can pull yourself up, right over there.”
Michael and Randal climbed up and joined Andy. Michael looked around, “Wow, is this where it happened?”
“Where did all this stuff come from?” Michael asked.
Andy smiled, “It’s from the kids at school and the neighborhood. They brought flowers and candles and wrote letters. Listen to this one:
“Oh Tad, how sad that you had to leave us this way. I never got to tell you how you changed my life. I never told you that because you had the balls to be out. I found out it was OK to be me. I wish I had been able to tell you. Your strength and honesty will always live in my heart.
“Andy, I hope you are alright. The love you two had for each other was one of a kind. I heard he loved you for two years before he even heard your voice. I can only hope to find someone to love me that much. I don’t blame you for not wanting to go on. But you taught me how to fight, and more importantly, that it is important to fight for the right to love who ever you want. I hope you will be around. There are still battles to be won. We need you.
“Help me get these letters, would ya? I want them all.” Andy said, under the tears that now flowed freely. Michael pulled Andy up and into his arms and held him while he wept. Randal collected all the notes and pictures.
“He never knew so many people cared. He always thought it was just the two of us. But he was ready to stand up against the world.” His tears waned and he looked at Randal staring at a note from amongst those he gathered.
“What is it? What does it say?” Andy asked. Randal reluctantly handed him the letter.
“Dear Tad,” Andy read out loud. “I miss ya. I know we never spoke, but that’s because I was afraid if people saw me talking to you, well, they would figure me out pretty easily. Right now, nobody knows. But if you were here, I could ask you how you find out if someone else is gay. You see, there is this boy and he is soooo hot. I want so much to just hold him. He’s one of those guys that you know is meant for you because their smell is just soooo good to you. But God, I’m afraid if I am wrong that I will be so screwed and worse than being outed is the thought of being alone. I heard you say it once and it’s true. It’s eating at me now and it may eat at me until I die. The irony of this is that if you were here to ask, the boy wouldn’t be. He’s the one that moved into your house.
“I don’t know what to do, but some how, writing this to you makes me feel better. I’m sorry I never had the courage to talk to you while you were alive. I loved you too and wished so many times that I was Andy in your arms. You guys were the perfect match.
“Thanks for listening.
“Wow, it looks like you have an admirer out there.” Andy smiled.
“Ya sure,” he said as he bent down, quietly picking up the rest.
“What’s wrong?” Andy asked, pulling him up by his arm to look at him squarely. “You’re gay aren’t ya? I mean, your eyes said to me you were.”
Randal’s gaze was toward the floor until Andy said that, then he looked very uncomfortably at Andy and then at Michael as he stammered. “No, of course not. No way.” And he handed Michael the stack of papers he was holding and started for the edge to climb down.
“Wait,” Andy said. “Here, this is really meant for you.” He handed the letter to him, and he took it and folded it up and as he put it in his pocket. Andy placed his hands on Randal’s hips and leaned forward and kissed him gently on the cheek. It was a kiss that paused momentarily before he pulled away. Randal didn’t recoil exactly. He just sorta froze and looked Andy in the eyes. Andy could see his eyes welling up.
“If you need to talk, I’m right next door. I know how to help.”
Randal said nothing but looked down and made for the path down.
“One more thing,” Andy said, as he started his climb down. “You know, you’re pretty lucky. Cause you’re good looking enough that you know that either way you go, there are people who already love you. You just have to decide who you want to be. But either way it goes, I’d like to stay your friend, if that’s alright with you.”
Randal smiled a big toothy smile. “Thanks.”
Michael and Andy watched him walk up the path. He paused when he thought he was out of sight and took the letter from his pocket and they could see him try and smooth the wrinkles from the paper.
Andy looked around. “I think I was most afraid of coming here Michael. This is where it all began and where it all ended. There,” he said pointing. “There is where he fell.” Andy went over and knelt next to where he remembered Tad’s lifeless body had landed. “We were up there and it had just rained. The moss was slippery. But I don’t feel as sad here as I thought I would. I can’t explain it. It’s like . . . I can almost feel him here.” Andy went over to Michael and took both his hands into his and kissed him.
“Let’s have sex.” Andy said, smiling and pulling him to the center of the diving level.
“Are you nuts? It is way too cold . . .” He never got to finish as Andy planted his lips on Michael’s. As their tongues fought over oral real estate, Michael’s breathing increased. Andy pulled him into his embrace, backing him against the rocks and pressing his rock hard dick against Michael’s and slowly began moving his ass forward, rubbing him squarely. Their lips parted for a moment.
Michael swallowed, “Seems to have warmed up a bit. Must be Indian summer,” and he pressed his lips against Andy’s, placing his hand in the small of his back and pulling him to him. Andy undid Michael’s pants with one hand and his zipper with the other. He reached inside his zipper to find his cock inside his boxers and grabbed his rock hard dick and squeezed it as he peeled his jeans down.
“You’re gonna have to get you some of those hick bibs, these take too long to get off ya,” he said, smiling as Michael’s jeans fell to his ankles, followed by his boxers. Andy stroked him and they continued to kiss passionately as they began to squirm together. Then, as if on cue, pulling back their hips from each other to facilitate Michael and Andy’s hands, both in unison ripping at Andy’s jeans and working them to the ground. Stepping out of their clothes, they came together in an embrace that placed their heat together as Michael’s hands pulled Andy’s back into him and Andy grabbed two full hands of boy ass and pulled him into a stabbing rendition of ‘let’s bump uglies’. Michael kissed down his neck and as he dropped to his knees, lifted Andy’s shirt and kissed and tugged at his nipples.
Andy gasped as Michael kissed quickly down to his navel and kissed the trough of his legs, first right, then left, then rubbing his cheek against his rigid boyhood while moving his mouth to the top of his love staff. He took his pointed tongue and tried to dig into the head of Andy’s cock just below the “V”. Andy tensed and Michael’s mouth sucked his shaft from the head, spreading his mouth to sheath it all the way down. He bobbed just a few times feeling his girth growing as he approached his zenith. Michael stopped and dropped to suck on his balls and let his orgasm wane a little. He brought his hand up and carefully spit on two fingers and reached back to wet his opening. He stood and turned in one motion, reaching behind him, pulling Andy forward into him.
Andy reached down and grabbed his dick and rubbed it against his lava hot entry. Finding it, he quickly pushed in past the head. Michael gasped and his body went rigid on his toes, dancing, trying to climb off the rigid fire stick shoved up his ass. Andy reached around placing one hand above and one hand below on his balls and while pushing his hips forward, he pulled the young boy back on his now throbbing hard on.
“Ahh!” Michael screamed. “Fuck, that’s tight,” still dancing on his toes until Andy found his wet dick and stroked his precumed shaft up and down, causing him to rock slightly backwards off the balls of his feet to settle completely on Andy’s mound. Michael’s back was arched and his nearly hairless body felt warm to Andy’s touch as he pulled him back some more and started to work his hips into the still taut boy ass in front of him. Michael clamped down so hard Andy thought he would pinch his dick off.
“Hey, breathe Michael, loosen up.”
Michael huffed out two or three times as he leaned slightly forward. Andy felt him relax a little and Andy went to work on his ass and his dick, pumping and humping in synchronous movement. Michael gasped, “Oh fuck! You’re so fucking hot inside me Andy. I think I’m going to catch fire! Fuck me!”
Andy obliged and started to rabbit fuck him. “Oh fuck,” Michael screamed, reaching behind him to get some boy ass in his hands, not sure if he wanted to pull him in or push him back, but finding his answer as Andy grunted.
“AH!” Thrusting his hips forward, causing Michael to head for tip toes again as blast after blast of scalding hot cum lavage his insides. He could feel the heat running from inside his ass to the tip of his spear as he shot the rock in front of him with Andy’s hands on the flat of his abs, biting his neck. Michael screamed.
“Fuck! Oh! oh, oh. Oh holy Jesus, mother of God, that was good,” as he pulled Andy’s head forward to kiss him, still on the toes of his feet. Andy snatched his hips back, causing a shiver in Michael from head to foot. Andy spun him around and kissed him. Michael’s hands found Andy’s buns, he kissed him back. They parted and one looked into the eyes of the other.
“Your ass is freezing,” Michael said, quickly giving his cheeks a fast squeeze. “Come on. Let’s run back to the house and soak together in a nice hot tub.”
Andy’s eyes lit up. “Beat ya!” and the race was on. They stepped into their clothes and pulled them up and Andy grabbed all the cards and notes, stuffing them inside of his shirt so his hands would be free for the climb down and they headed for home.
“We’re gonna have ta go Markie. Dinner be ready ‘bout sun down. Gary, Ben, been good to do ya’s, I mean to see ya’s. Do ya’s agin tomarra, OK?”
“Sure, see ya tomorrow Toome, see ya Markie.”
As they came across the pasture, Markie stopped Toome, “You go on ahead. I’ll be right behind ya’s. I just want to peek in on Chandler for a minute.”
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