The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of
The dim glow of the sun was just beginning to make the darkness blue, signaling the arrival of a new day. Gladys and Becky were still in their chairs at the foot of the stairs.
“How many does that make?” Gladys asked Becky.
“Jeez, I lost track. Sometimes one just sorta fades into another . . .” ( “Ahah ahah ahah ahaaaaaaaaaaaaa” “ Oh shit, I’m comin’ too! Oh, oh, ooooh” ) “Like that! That right there, how do you know? Was that one, or two? Actually, it’s been more like one continuous one. God, I wish I was 14 again.” Becky said, staring off into nothing while stuffing chips in her mouth from the bowl she held in her lap.
“Well, how are we going to know who won?”
“I think next time we should just go with longevity.” Becky said as she sipped a little more recipe to counter the saltiness of the chips.
“For one, or all together,” Gladys asked, staring up the steps and taking a little taste out of the Mason jar.
The door opened. Tad stepped out in his bibs with one strap clipped. It was apparent that he slipped them on to come downstairs. As he turned to come down, he saw the ladies sitting at the bottom of the stairs. They gazed up at him as a naked Andy streaked across the hall behind Tad headed for the bathroom. He was baring a tree laden with fruit and oblivious to anything. Tad descended the steps grinning while shaking an empty flask as he came down. Gladys stood, taking the flask from his hand and expertly poured a refill from her Mason jar without missing a drop.
As she handed it back to him she smiled, “Ya’ll gonna come up for air pretty soon and maybe think about some breakfast?”
A naked Andy streaked back across the landing and back into the room, apparently having finished his business.
Tad was looking back up the stairs watching the likeness of his naked lover pointing towards his destination without using his hands. He slipped the flask into the front pocket of his bibs and took the Mason jar out of Gladys’ hands and took a stiff pull off it.
“Don’t know.” Tad said with a raspy voice. Just then, Andy appeared at the top of the steps, whispering for Tad. As soon as he realized the women were awake and sitting at the base of the stairs, his hand became a fig leaf, a very inadequate fig leaf. He blushed.
Tad started back up the stairs, “Hey, wait a minute!” Gladys said. “There’s enough in that flask for you to wear each other out and then some. You won’t be needin’ my Mason jar.”
“Oops, sorry Aunt Gladys; had my mind on other things.” He said, staring at the naked boy who was holding one hand out for him to take and was trying to hide a lurching school bus with his other. Tad took the steps two at a time, grasping the hand of his smiling boy. They closed the door, and you could hear the familiar clink of bib buckles hitting the floor, leaving the ladies staring up the empty staircase.
“My! He sure has grown, hasn’t he?” Becky said.
“Ya,” Gladys said, “and most of it while we watched just now.” But the ladies broke up laughing as they resumed their orgasm vigil.
“Lord, they didn’t even look tired,” Becky said resuming the assimilation of chips.
“Well, if we time it right, we might be able to get them to stop and come down fer breakfast. While they’re putting on the feedbag, we could might slip away and get to sleep before they take up again. If we don’t get to sleep before they get started again it might be awhile before we get a chance again. I’ll go start some potatoes, hotcakes and sausage links. Hmmm, maybe we better make that bacon. We don’t want to suggest nothing.” Gladys grinned. “We’ll do the eggs when they come down. Rooster bullets t’aint as good cold.”
“Gladys, most guys get drunk and they couldn’t get it up to save their souls. Tad drinks this stuff and it’s like liquid Viagra. What’s in it?”
“Well this here is mostly sour mash. Come harvest we’ll change up to a bit of Apple Jack. He’s a country boy, been sippin’ pert near his whole life. I ‘spect it’s mostly in his head.” There was a deafening silence before they both exploded in laughter.
They laughed until . . .
Tad stood holding Andy, kissing him. It was a planning session. Andy’s arms straight down to his sides, he was harder than a tire iron. He looked deeply into Tad’s eyes.
“Wait, wait, I know this one. I do.” Andy just remained silent, staring into Tad’s eyes. Tad wasn’t getting it. Andy put his hands up bent in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue as he dropped to his knees. It was sexual charades.
“I got it” Tad said grinning, “I knew it when you first looked into my eyes. DOGGIE STYLE!” and he dropped down on his hands and knees in front of Andy. Andy nuzzled up his nose to Tad’s ass and took in his earthy scent. They had been at it all night now and he smelled strong. He buried his face in Tad’s ass and breathed in hard again.
Tad felt the mad rush of cool air brush against his sensitive boy pucker, “Ohhh,” Tad moaned.
Andy felt his dick lurch. He stuck out his tongue and using just the tip, explored the gentle folds of his sphincter.
“Owoooooooo” Tad howled like a coyote braying at a full moon. Andy continued his slow, ever so slow, tongue lashing of his rear entrance. Every time his tongue begged entry, Tad’s legs trembled and he would let loose with a yelp or a moan. Andy was driving him crazy. Andy ran his tongue up his ass crack, emerging above the boy hick mounds and he kissed them right along the ass crack, first left, then right and gently kissed his way up his spine until Andy’s raging steel bumped his ass. Andy grabbed his rod and slid it hard against Tad’s perineum almost bending his dick head over completely. Continuing the pressure, he ran it up Tad’s crack, his head demanding immediate entry as soon as it touched Tad’s Tampa Turnpike and he felt the pressure to go through Wrinkle City. It yielded instantly and Tad came up off his front hands.
Andy reached around and grabbed Tad’s scalding doggy dick and jacked him, as he mercilessly humped Tad, just like a hound dog. He was fast, full, and heartless slapping his boy mound all the way home with each rapid hard fuck.
Tad was barely conscious, breathing in short quick gasps. His back ached from pain and pleasure, his head tilted back with teeth grit and lips pulled back in writhing waves of painful pleasure. He reached around behind him as he felt Andrew’s girth increase as his body prepared for the carnal dump of boy lava. Tad tried to pull him in further; he wanted to drive Andrew’s dick right through to the other side if he could. Andy started, “ah, aaH aAH, aAHH, AAAHHHH!” And he slammed forward feeling like his ass cheeks were storage, full of cum to deliver. His fountain jerked him first to the right then to the left, pulling on the matching hip, then both, as he rammed it forward and froze. Tad was still squirting and his body pulsing until they both collapsed on the floor and lay there with heaving chests gasping for air that had felt absent for days.
Andrew pulled back and out of Tad’s ass and pushed him off his knees to the right. Andrew worked his knees apart and crawled in on top of Tad. His mouth finding Tad’s, he kissed him, “I love you more than oxygen,” he whispered, looking in his eyes. He collapsed and lay there in Tad’s arms.
They weren’t sure what time it was but the sun was peeking in around the drapes. “Hand me the flask,” Tad whispered to Andrew.
“No, I don’t think I will.” Andrew said with a giggle.
“Your mine, hand me the flask.”
“Tad, my everything is sore, my hair even hurts. I don’t think I can take one more. I have cummed so much tonight, that if I don’t rehydrate, the next orgasm will look like a dust cloud.”
“OK, then hand me the flask after you take a drink.” Tad was still slightly winded.
“Deal,” Andrew said almost draining the flask, stopping only when it took his breath away and Tad snatched it from his hand. He turned it up and drained the rest.
“Hehe,” Tad said as he nibbled on Andrew’s neck. “hehe” he giggled.
“Hi, Auntie Gladys, Ms Becky. Where they at? Don’t tell me they’s still sleepin’. Sun done been up twenty minutes already.”
“Hey Markie, Toome. How you boys doin’? Had breakfast yet?” Aunt Gladys asked. It really didn’t make a difference what they answered, they were going to be fed again. It’s just how it works in the country.
“Yes’m but only once.” Toome hollered back. “We’ll get them boys up fer ya,” and they were up the steps before they could be stopped.
“Wait,” Becky called, but she was a day late and a dollar short. They vanished already. “Gladys, you think we ought to go up there? Who knows what those boys will see when they go in there.”
“OH MY GOSH!” could be heard coming from upstairs as the door closed behind the little intruders.
Gladys smiled, “I wouldn’t worry about no tramatizin’ for those two. I don’t think Tad and Andy, neither one could come up with sumpin’ those boys haven’t seen. Those be Hester’s boys. Toome is a little on the side of what they call “over sexed” They dun been pitched from every school in six counties. The last time Toome had the principal backed over his desk and Toome was rubbin’ up against him till the poor guy didn’t know whether to shit or go blind. He ended up goin’ home and changing his pants just so he could come back and expel him. Poor Markie, the little bugger barely has the hormones for morning wood. Seems like his brother got that part for him too. But bein’ identical, he get’s the blame anyways, so he is the partner in crime. And from what I hear, Toome’s practice partner. No, I think if you went up there right now it might could be you gettin’ the therapy!”
“If you really want to help, cut up a couple more potatoes. I think them boys’ll be workin’ up an apetite.”
Tad and Andy had pulled covers over their feet but they were laying on top of it so it was short of covering their wood.
Toome wiped his salivating mouth, “Sour mash dicks if I’ve ever seen one.” He whispered.
“Which one you want Toome?” Markie asked.
“Both of ‘em,” he said as he went over and proceeded to squat down on Tad’s and at the same time reaching and leaning for Andy’s.
“Hey! What about me?” Markie asked.
“Hell, I can do you anytime.”
“No you igit, how am I supposed to get my nut off. I ain’t workin’ the well by hand when you got them two to yerself!” Markie was getting himself all worked up.
“Look, just move around to the kissin’ and suckin’ ends of these two. The first one that moans, put your dick in his mouth, then set to suckin’ tongues with the other. Damn Markie, you sure ain’t quick at figgerin’ where you can put that little thing to get off.”
“It ain’t little, we’re identical, its the same as yours.”
“Right, so I figure you best be getting’ up here by Tad cause he’s going to be moanin’ in just about a minute. I can feel him startin’ to hump and I’m only three quarters down on his dick. Damn, Andy has sure got himself a big one. Shit, I don’t think I can get Dickzilla here in my mouth! Damn, I love a challenge. I sure hope it’s full.”
Tad moaned and Markie pounced on him, nearly choking him. And at the same time, Andy was coming around and felt a new taste in his mouth. A sweet boy taste. He was just glad it wasn’t Adam. The boys worked them hard, buying the house a round of dry orgasms, except Markie of course, who just started shootin’ in the last few days. And kissing Andy was a favorite thing to do with Markie. He thought his mouth was edible.
Finished up, they vanished as quickly as they came. Andy sat up, “Do they always vanish like that? I feel like I’ve been through an automatic fuck ’n suck sex wash. You know, like they have for washing cars, only in this assembly line they fuck ya, suck your tongue out and if ya go for the full show, they’ll pork ya in the ass and hang a little Christmas tree on your ear.” Tad laughed at the image of Markie running back in through the bedroom door to hang their smelly Christmas trees on their ears and then running back out.
“Ya, well, Toome is a little spooge monger. I guess he figures there’s more to be had someplace. Right now my someplace is the kitchen. I’m so hungry I almost made Markie a girl. But I think he liked that.” Tad was giggling as he got to his feet and then stepped into his bibs.
“You’re right,” Andy told Tad, wrapping his arm around Tad’s waist. “Bibs, the only way to go. Come on, my stomach thinks my throats been slit. I think I could eat the south end of a northbound horse at a full gallop. I hope they made a bunch. Then maybe a cuddle nap.”
“I want you,” Tad said giggling.
“Shut up, you’re cut off. The first one to heal up can ask the other but not until then. That’ll be at least an hour or two.”
The boys walked into the kitchen to find the twins at the trough. Markie, with a plate of potatoes and some eggs, dipping his toast into the runny egg yolks. Toome saw Andy and smiled, his eyes dropping to the place he ate his last meal, grinning and moving his eyes up with a devilish grin. He was sucking on a little sausage link to see if he could get a rise out of either one.
“Have a seat boys, how ya want your eggs?” Gladys was asking.
“Scrambled for me please,” Tad said.
“Over easy, please,” Andy said, stopping to give her a little kiss on the cheek, as well as Becky, who was on toast detail and pancakes. Then he went over and kissed each of the twins a little peck on the neck before sitting down. Toome winced and then spread his knees and looked down.
“Damn,” he mumbled as he sprouted wood again.
They served up eggs, toast and pancakes and looked at the boys. “Y’all munch out and pick up the dishes. We’re going to disappear and take our naps since the moaning seems to have subsided long enough for us to get to sleep. Wake us if ya need us.” Andy turned red and stayed that way, his dimples sharing the real estate with a smile that clearly said, “Ooops, but damn it was good.” He tried to shovel food in, but it didn’t want to stay in. It’s hard to eat with a smile that big that won’t go away.
Gladys and Becky slipped out of the kitchen and left the boys on their own. Toome leaned over, “Your smile makes me hard.”
“Toome,” Tad said, “A glass of water can make you hard.”
Andy chuckled and mocked Toome, “Oh look! A glass of water.” He spread his knees and looked down at his crotch, “Oh Damn.”
Everyone laughed, even Toome.
“Let’s pick up the dishes, lay down for a nap too, and this time, sleep,” Andrew said. “Then when we get up we can go for a swim. Not too many of them left before we go back to school.”
“That sounds like a plan.” Tad said, leaning over and kissing Andy with syrupy lips.
“Mmmm,” Andy moaned, “sweet.”
Toome spread his knees and looked down, “Damn.” He said. They all laughed.
Tad was nuzzled up to Andy’s neck and threw an arm and a leg over him. Tad kissed the hollow of his neck playfully. Andy looked down lifting the knee that wasn’t covered by Tad, “Damn,” he giggled. Tad giggled too. Suddenly it was a nostalgic giggle fest as the two fourteen year olds reverted to ten year old gigglers. Stopping only long enough for one to look down and go, “Damn.” And it started all over again until they drifted off to sleep. They were snuggled so tight in a ball of boy that it was hard to tell where one left off and the other started.
A lightning strike woke the boys as a summer shower poured down outside in the summer sun, as it sometimes does. Though it was violent in its arrival, dumping the deluge like a young boy making his first productive orgasm, it left just as quickly, leaving it’s humid, steamy fog rising from the sun soaked fields. It was hot and the humidity was so thick you could cut it.
“Looks like that’s it. Mother nature shot her wad.” Andy said with a chuckle. “Let’s go to the glade.”
“If you’re waiting for me, you’re backin’ up,” Tad said clipping a strap to his bibs. He stepped into the carefully constructed tennis shoes that seemed to have grown around his feet since they were new earlier that summer. The backs of the heels were folded in and down, and the laces were carefully done with the aglets stuffed permanently into a secure place between the tongue and the rest of the shoe. He could step into them and out of them in a hurry. His Dad always yelled at him for ruining his shoes. He never understood that this is how they worked for him, and they wouldn’t have lasted any longer to lace them properly each time he chose to wear them. But no matter, he’d be getting new ones soon. He always got new shoes for school. His thoughts drifted momentarily to his Mom and Dad as he stared at the summer worn shoes. It would be different this year. It would be Aunt Gladys or Becky taking him to the store for his clothes. He missed his Mom and Dad. All the memories of how angry his dad could be, especially about Tad being gay, were gone.
He had forgotten how his Mom never moved to intervene between his father and him, but he remembered her hugs as being the best. He knew how they fit when they hugged. His head instinctively knew its place on her breast and his hands knew exactly her circumference. No, Tad only remembered the smiles, the hunting and fishing. Mom’s pies and the way she made that special shepherds pie that he’ll never taste again. It was as if Andy could read his mind and pulled him from his sitting funk, into a hug.
“Come on, let’s get naked and swim.” Those words always brought on a smile. They didn’t fail him this time either. The boys made for the door.
When they got downstairs Hester was drinking coffee with Gladys and Becky. “Hey little man,” Hester said to Tad, “Have a seat, let me fill ya in on what we’re doing with the farm.”
“What do you mean, doing with the farm?” Tad asked.
“Well, the insurance paid it off but with you livin’ here it is just wastin’. So I have put it into a management companies hands to rent it out. That way it will continue to be maintained and actually make money. It is going into a trust fund for you. When you’re eighteen, you’ll have a nice little nest egg for college.”
“You’re going to have strangers living in our house?”
“They’re only strangers until you meet them. And don’t worry; I made sure the management company knew that the quarry grove was not part of the rental property. I knew you’d want that for you and your city . . . Andy.”
“I had to do something, I cain’t stay here. I gotta get back. I have a job and a life sweetie. There are still people that my boys haven’t terrorized yet,” she said joking as Toome and Markie entered the room. “So, tomorrow and the next day, we’ll be emptying the house. Gladys and Becky and you will have to decide what you want. Leave the furniture you don’t need, for the renters. What ever they don’t want we can give to the Starvation Army. We kin just give’m a call and they’ll come out with a truck and haul away anything we want to give’m. But we gotta get all the personal stuff out. So I’ll need your help. We’ll be leaving, driving a pick-up back with a few of the things I’m takin’ so don’t get all tuckered out and sleep tonight. You guys have the rest of your lives to fuck around.”
Gladys cleared her throat disapprovingly of the language. “Oh, beg your pardon Aunt Gladys, Becky. Sorry, I turned trash mouth there for a second.”
“Tad, your sister is just tryin’ to make the right decisions here. And I know it will seem strange having strangers living in your house over there, but I think it’s the right decision too. Their rent will pay for the upkeep. If it sits empty it will just go to ruin, then you got nothin’.”
“I know. . . it’s just, so final I guess. I don’t know. Thanks for protecting the quarry for us. That’s a special spot for us. It’s where things all got started and my dreams became a reality.” Tad was tearing up. Andy moved to comfort him.
“What time you want to start?” Andrew asked caressing his boy’s neck to sooth him.
“I think best to get an early start while it’s still cool.” Hester said looking to Aunt Gladys for her input.
“I think best to get started here at breakfast, say round about four. We can hang the feedbag and get over there and get started by five-thirty or six. We can work until about one and then cool off and pick up again right after dark. How’s that sound?”
“That sounds like a plan. See ya’ about four then. You see them two monsters of mine, tell ’em that Ms Mays isn’t very happy with them for what they did to her goat. She doesn’t want them over there anymore. When I left, she was mumblin’ sumpin about havin’ a two headed kid.” The sound trailed off as she kept talking to no one, as she went down the sidewalk.
The rest of them just stared at the door and started giggling, which quickly built into laughter. About the time they recovered, Andy looked down and spread his knees and said. “Damn!” And it started all over again.
The heat of the day was full on now and the humidity left by the earlier rainstorm left everything sticky. And not the good kind either. “Mom, Aunt Gladys, we’re going to go for a dip if that’s alright.” Andy asked in his most polite voice.
Aunt Gladys looked at them and said, “Lord, if it wasn’t so far and so blasted cold when ya get there, I think I’d go with ya.”
“Well, why don’t ya? Mom’s never been there before, and it’s not that far. It is way cold but only for a minute. Come on. It’s all shady and beautiful there.”
Gladys looked at Becky. “What da ya think? Wanna go for it?”
Becky looked at Andrew as he put on his best pleading puppy eyes. “Alright, why don’t we make a picnic of it? Is there room out there to spread a blanket?”
“Yeah, that will be great. I’ll get a couple of blankets.” Andy squealed.
“I’ll get a couple a lawn chairs for ya’s so ya ain’t sittin’ on the ground, lessen ya wants to.” Tad added.
“Great, we’ll make some sandwiches and Kool-aid. Red or Grape?” Becky said smiling as everyone got up to do their tasks.
“Red, if that’s OK with everyone else.” Andy yelled going up the steps.
“I’ll give Hester a call and see if her’n the boys want to come. Better pack a few more sandwiches just in case.” Gladys said, lookin’ out the window to see if Hester made it back over to the house yet.
“Wow, that was a bit of a trek, but it went pretty fast. That sun is blistering though, but oh! This is beautiful. It’s an oasis. I know why you boys spend so much time here. A constant cool breeze, shady and look at that water! You can see forever in it.” Becky reached down and felt the water. “You weren’t lying about the water being cold. I may just put my feet in.” They spread out the blankets and set up the chairs.
“Now you know why it’s so special to me, Mom. Look up there, that first rock is where you stand to jump in, and above that is another rock that is about eight or nine feet higher. There’s a stepping stone so you can hop down. But up on top, the rock is moss covered and the sun warms it so it’s like lying on warmed velvet.” He blushed, “we spend a lot of time up there.”
“Well, go for a dip real quick and then we’ll eat something. That way you’ll be cool while you’re waiting for your food to digest. Go on now.” Becky chivvied him off as Hester and the twins showed up. The twins took off up the rocks.
Andy traipsed off after Tad who was already up on the first landing. Andrew joined him.
“Well, let’s get wet.” Tad said unbuckling his bibs.
“Oh shit!” Andrew said. “I didn’t even think about Mom and Hester and Aunt Gladys. I didn’t bring a suit.”
Just then Toome and Markie streaked by them, buck ass naked. Tad looked at Andrew, undid his buckles and let ’em drop. “I don’t ‘spect this will be the first time for them either.” Tad said edging towards the edge of the rock.
Andrew followed suit and walked up next to Tad and took his hand. “Ready? One, two, three!” What followed were screams from the cold water. The ladies enjoyed watching all the naked boys scurrying up the hill. When they had lunch ready, Markie and Toome rushed over still buck ass naked and grabbed a couple sandwiches.
“Hey, you boys go get your britches on. We don’t want to see your things hanging out while we eat our lunch.” Hester said. “Go on now, ya can’t go back in fer an hour anyways.”
Tad and Andy had automatically gone back for their bibs. Coming back and enjoying lunch. “Hey Toome,” Tad said, “What did you do to Ms Mays goat?” They all got silent waiting for the next syllable.
Markie was munching on a piece of celery and started grinning, but pursed his lips to keep from laughing. Toome glanced up without moving his head up and realized that all eyes were on him and they weren’t going to let this one pass without comment. He blushed crimson.
“Well, ya know every time we cut across her property to take that shortcut over to Gary and Ben’s through the woods, that goat chases us and butts us when he catches us. Well, I figured he was cantankerous because he was the only one and probably because he ain’t had no sex. So I figured if Markie and me could tie him up proper we could take care of his problem for him. And, well, I figered I might as well get a little sumpin’ out of it so we tied him to a tree, and hobbled his little ass so he couldn’t run no how. So while I reached around and worked his thing, I held him still with a little touch of Toome.”
Markie went on, “’Bout the time Toome was buckin’ as bad as that goat and screamin’ out, Ms Mays came out with her broom and she wasn’t intendin’ to sweep the pasture. So we made a run for it.”
Everyone roared laughing! “But, hey!” Toome said, “We been back through there two or three times since then. Now he doesn’t try and butt us anymore.”
“But he keeps nuzzling up against ol’ Toome now and he bleats after him when we hop the fence. I think he’s in love!” Markie said, laughing that shrill high pitched laugh only available to ten and eleven year olds.
“Hey, you may not like my methods, but ya gotta love my results. I leave ‘em all happy!” Toome said laughing and staring at the carrot he was munching so as not to make eye contact with anyone.
“Yeah, well I know a principle who ain’t very satisfied.” Hester said giving him the eye.
“Oh no momma, that ain’t right. He was plenty satisfied. You just cain’t moan and scream like that and then dump your load so bad that you have to tie your sweater around your waist to hide what ran down your leg, and not be satisfied. He was just embarrassed ‘cause I made him wait after he blew ‘til I finished. Fact is he’s offered to tutor me while I’m ‘spended. I told him I don’t hump people what’s tooten. He laughed an’ said never mind.”
They just stared slack jawed at Toome.
“Been an hour yet?” Toome said to break the silence.
“Not quite,” Hester said.
Toome glanced over at Tad and Andy and they were letting the tips of there tongues dance together with open mouths, getting ready for a snoggin’ fest while they wait. Toome just stared; he looked down, spread his knees and said “Damn.” He was hard again.
Andy and Tad excused themselves to retreat to the top rock for some fun in the sun. They climbed up and left their clothes on the first rock and ascended to the top. Tad took Andy in his arms, “Healed up yet?”
“Oh, ya,” Andy answered kissing him soundly.
The moss held the water from the morning’s rain and it rose to pond on top of the moss when you stepped on it. “Well, it looks a little too wet to lie down. You want to dance a little?” Tad said, releasing him and snapping his fingers. “You want to do a sexy dance with me,” he said, moving his hips seductively and thrusting his hips forward as he danced around the top rock. Andy laughed and giggled, and then Andy looked around and Tad was just gone. He heard a scream and someone called out, “Oh God!”
Andy jumped up, looking around. “Where did Tad go?” He went to the edge and saw his Tad laying on the diving rock, he wasn’t moving. Andy jumped down and went to cradle Tad to see if he was alright. He lifted his head and kissed him. “Come on Tad, stop goofin’ around, this isn’t funny.” He felt something on his hand, it was warm. It was blood, a lot of blood.
“Quick! Get help! Call an ambulance! He’s hurt!” Andy screamed in hysterics.
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