by David Heulfryn
“So, what do you want to ask me tonight?” Max asked before I could ask my question.
“Well, I do have one question,” I said.
“What is it, Min?”
“Well, there’s something I don’t understand. I’ve noticed that boys on my swim team would brag when they got pubes and loved to show them off. I think they thought it made them more grown up.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed that.” Max agreed. “I never did.”
“Well, last year they were so happy they’d grown pubes, but I’ve noticed they have started shaving them off this year. I just don’t get it. Why are they desperate to grow them one minute, boast about them the next and then shave them off or trim them, so they just look like stubble.”
Max started to laugh.
“It’s not funny, Max. I don’t get it. Now I’ve got some pubes. I don’t want to shave them off.”
Max stopped chuckling, “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at those sad boys. But I do have a question for you, Min.”
“What?” I wondered.
“Well, you seem to keep an eye on all the boys in your swim club and their development, their pubes, their cocks, and no doubt their balls. I was just wondering why?”
I thought for a moment, trying to understand why I always looked at the other boys naked in the shower after swim practice and my gymnastics club. “I suppose I get to see other boys older and younger than me. I like seeing what I might become, not only my cock and pubes but also my muscles. I see an older boy who is a good swimmer and wins most of his races, and I wonder if I will be as good as him and if I need my body to look like his to start winning medals.”
“Is that all?” Max asked. “Does it make you feel excited when you see other naked boys?”
“Are you telling me that you’ve never looked? You’ve never been interested in who’s got a bigger cock that you, and who’s is smaller?” I didn’t want to answer that, so I tried to deflect the question.
I heard max squirm in his bed.
“Come on, Max. Be honest. I’ve been honest with you.”
“Okay, Min. I admit it. But I don’t know. I used to.”
“Why did you stop?” I asked.
“Well, one boy got caught looking. I just thank God it wasn’t me. But the other boys started to make fun of him, called him a queer and asking him to give them blow jobs. It was awful. I felt like a coward as I just left him surrounded by the others in the showers. I quickly dried myself and got dressed. I ran out of the changing rooms putting as much space between them and me as possible. I felt sick. I didn’t know what they did to him, but I knew it could have been me. From then on, I never looked, not directly anyway, I might get a quick peak if they dropped their towels in front of me, but I never again went out of my way to look at their cocks.”
“What happened to the boy?” I asked.
“Well, he took a few months of teasing and never looked at our cocks again, but it died down, and it seems that everyone has forgotten now.”
“Good. They shouldn’t have teased him.”
“I asked him what they did once all the fuss had died down. It turns out the worst they did was call him queer and start waving their cocks in front of him. But he said he was scared they beat him up.”
“Is he gay?”
Max fidgeted in bed again. “I don’t know. He never said he was to me. But only he knows, and even if he was, he’d be best to keep it to himself at school. Some of the boys aren’t very tolerant.”
“It’s a shame.” I sighed. “There’s a boy in my gymnastics club who says he’s bi, and nobody gives a shit.”
We lay silently in beds for a moment.
“Max, what about my question about boys shaving their pubes?” I looked over into the dark space where he lay.
“I think it’s about porn. Some of my mates do it and claim they get better blow jobs because the girl isn’t choking on their pubes. But that’s bullshit. I doubt any of them has had a blow job. But if you look at porn, all the guys are either shaved or trimmed.”
“Oh!” I said, and I asked Max if he’d ever watched porn.
Our parents had very strict filters on our internet access. I remember once they found out someone had tried to access a porn site, and they brought both of us to stand in front of them. Max looked so red and ashamed and kept looking at his feet. As soon as he owned up, I was sent to our room so they could talk to him. Max was only thirteen at the time and was deeply embarrassed. He wouldn’t look our parents or me in the face for weeks afterwards. Max only said to me, “don’t ever even try and look at websites you shouldn’t”. Just seeing how ashamed Max looked, I knew I would never dare.
It was obvious that Max had watched porn, and when I asked about it, he explained that one of his friends had an unfiltered internet connection. Their parents trusted him. But he and his friend would occasionally watch porn together.
Max asked if I had any friends who could show me, but I couldn’t think of any. All my friends had strict internet rules, and my best mate couldn’t use a computer unless he was at the dining table in front of his parents.
“Have you ever thought about shaving your pubes, Max?”
“No,” Max chuckled, “but some of the guys at rugby do. They seem to like it. And once, when one of them lost a bet, they made him shave off all his body hair in the showers and in front of everybody. When he was hairless, he paraded in front of all the team.”
“I bet that got you hard.” I smiled.
“Thankfully, I was wearing my jockstrap. I was as hard as a rock and felt I could blow at….” Max stopped; he’d told me more than he wanted to.
My little prick was stiff and rubbed against my pyjama trousers. I pushed my hand down my body and inside my pyjamas. I didn’t touch my stiff prick. I played with the few pubes I had. I twirled the light brown hairs through my fingers, feeling the coarse hair as it slid between my fingertips. Why would anyone want to get rid of these, I thought. I loved my pubes and couldn’t wait to grow a full set.
“I’m going to sleep naked again. What about you, Max?” I declared and pulled down my pyjama trousers and dropped them on the floor.
“I don’t think so. What if Mum or Dad come in?” Max seemed nervous.
“When was the last time they came in to wake us? They know my alarm goes off, and they won’t disturb us if we get up in time.” I paused. “Go on, Max. I know you enjoyed it last night. It feels so good to let your bits free. Does it make your balls tingle?” I was excited. “It makes my balls tingle.”
Max fidgeted as he pulled off his pyjamas.
“See, that feels so much better,” I said to him. “Are your balls tingling like mine?”
“It does feel exciting,” Max replied. “But I’m still nervous about Mum and Dad finding out.”
“I’m not.” I smiled to myself. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll ask Mum this weekend if she minds if I sleep naked from now on.”
“If you do, then don’t you dare say I’m going to. Don’t you dare even mention my name. If she goes ballistic, then I don’t want to be involved.”
“Why are you so scared of telling them what you want?” I asked.
Max seemed to growl, “Look, Min. I’m very shy about my body. I don’t want them to start thinking about it. I’d feel weird, Mum and Dad thinking of me sleeping naked in bed.”
“You are such a twat, Max.”
“Min, don’t call me that!” Max told me off.
“Sorry, Max. But you are such a prude.”
Max laughed. “Where on earth did you learn a word like that.”
“Dunno. Reading, I suppose. And unlike you, I listen in lessons.” I teased Max.
“Yeah, well. Like I said, if you have the balls to ask Mum, then leave my name out of it.”
“Don’t worry, you little prude. It will all be my idea, you chicken. You’re the older brother. You should be leading the way for me, not the other way round.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Min. You don’t have to follow me all the time. You can do things on your own, without me. I’m not responsible for you doing what you want.”
“So you can say fuck, but I can’t say twat.” I pouted.
“No, Min. I didn’t call you a fuck, but you called me a twat. That’s the difference. I’m not a twat. I’m just different from you.”
“Sorry, Max.” I felt terrible that I’d upset him. “I don’t really think you’re a twat.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Max chuckled.
“And I also don’t think you’re a prude. I think you should be proud of your body. I’m sure your rugby mates do when they see you in the showers. I bet some of them look at you.”
Max considered what I’d said. “I know one lad does.” He paused a moment. “He only seems to look at me, never any of the others. And he knows I know, but he also knows I won’t blab to the others.”
My balls tingled again. “Is that the same boy whose cock you felt?”
“Yep.” Max almost whispered.
“I think he fancies you. He knows you know, but he doesn’t have the courage to tell you. Or you haven’t given off any vibe that you may be interested.” We were silent for a moment. “Are you interested?” I asked Max.
It was a question that made my brother choke on his tongue.
“I have a girlfriend, Min.” Max protested.
“That means nothing, Max. I’ve been told about different sexualities, straight, gay, bi, and a few others. And you’ve already touched his cock. You should let him touch yours.”
“No fucking way!” Max exclaimed, “I’m not cheating on Jane.”
“I don’t think it’s cheating. It’s just rugby clowning around. You touching his cock wasn’t cheating, was it?”
“I suppose so.” Max agreed.
“So you touching his cock isn’t cheating.” I reasoned.
“I suppose so.” Max agreed.
“So, I’m giving you permission to touch his cock, Max.” I stifled a laugh.
“What makes you think I want to touch his cock?” Max tried to sound surprised at my suggestion.
“Well, we’re having this conversation, aren’t we? And you admitted to wanting to touch him last night.” I giggled.
Max tried to turn things away from him and towards me. “Do you want to touch another boy’s cock?” He asked.
“We’re not talking about me.”
“Come on, Min.” Max seemed to be pleading. Our conversation was making him squirm. “You admitted to looking at other boys in the shower. Wanting to touch is just a natural next step.”
“Perhaps, but not yet,” I admitted. “I prefer to just look at the moment.”
“Besides, we’ve not had any opportunity to be alone again,” Max said quietly.
I think Max wanted to experiment, but his girlfriend was holding him back. They got together about a year ago, and she was his first and, so far, only girlfriend. They did seem to genuinely like each other, but I think the relationship was holding Max back from working out what he really wanted in a partner. At least he was using her as an excuse.
“You need to stop worrying about what others think, Max. But I’ll always be here for you, whatever you do?”
“No problem, we’re brothers. We should be here for each other.”
Then I said what I’d said last night.
“I love you, Max.”
“I love you, Min.”
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