The Journey of Jacob and Kyle
by Andrew Davis


Chapter 9: The Mistakes We Make (Cont.)
Time line: Sunday

Everyone sat cramped together in the backseat of Bill’s car, quietly pondering the day’s events. In the midst of the silence, and the mild popping of rocks shooting out from under the car’s tires, Jacob could feel the anger that had gripped him earlier on the island begin to dissipate from him.

Once he was calm and collected, his logical mind began working. It was a breath of fresh air, because he was no longer clouded by his rage. His thoughts were now free and clear to think, objectively, and able to make important decisions. ‘Should we ever return to the camp? Or even more so, do I ever want to see those boys again,’ Jacob thought. Deep down inside, he knew he didn’t hate them or hold any resentment towards them; despite the obvious reasons.

Jacob finally came to the conclusion that he didn’t know, and decided to find out how everyone else felt about the day. For the most part, all of them agreed that swimming in the pool was rather fun, seeing all of those naked boys even more so, but when Matthew brought up Lover’s Cove, everyone’s voices went down an octave.

The island had been Jacob and Kyle’s worst part of the day. For Nicolas and Matthew, the happenings on the island left them feeling a bit discontent, especially with the way Jacob had acted; but to an extent, they understood the reasoning behind Jacob’s actions.

In view of everything that happened while on the campground, they agreed that it was filled with some fun and excitement, minus those glaring issues. However, the more they talked, the more Jacob became okay with going back, providing his standpoint was accepted by everyone; that there wouldn’t be any sexual contact between them. If this was all fine and dandy, then he hoped that on Wednesday, they could return since they would have the day off due to a countywide school board meeting.

However, while in the midst of their private conversation, they failed to realize that Bill had stopped the car and had pulled up in front of Nicolas’ house. Bill quickly interrupted the boys and informed them they had arrived at their destination.

Nicolas was quick to thank Bill for driving him home, gave him a firm handshake, and swiftly hopped out of the backseat of the car, and Matthew followed. Jacob saw this and figured that Matthew needed a moment to say goodbye to his boyfriend; all eyes were now looking out the window.

“Nicolas, I just wanted you to know that I’m really glad we got to spend time together, today and yesterday,” Matthew spoke softly, hands in his pockets.

“Me too, I really enjoyed our time together; after all, it’s brought us closer together, at least I think it did.”

Matthew smiled and felt his heart become warm and fuzzy. “Good, I’m glad you said that. So, did you wanna hang out again, you know tomorrow after school?”

“Let me think about this for a moment … you bet I do! Anyway, I think I’d better get inside before Mom starts to worry about me,” Nicolas mentioned, grabbing Matthew by the hand and rubbing his thumb over Matthew’s.

Matthew looked down towards his hand and saw the affection that Nicolas was showing towards him. He looked back up, tilted his head, and stared directly into Nicolas’ eyes. “You’ve never been this lovey-dovey before. What’s changed?”

“What hasn’t changed? Because there’s too much for me to even list, but I guess the only way I know how to explain it is, that I see you for who you really are.” Nicolas replied with his head tilted to the side to match Matthew’s head angle.

“Oh, well um, I’m not sure I even know what means. It sounds really romantic though.” Matthew giggled.

“Let me show you romantic,” Nicolas whispered, moving his head forward and planting a kiss onto Matthew’s lips.

Jacob and Kyle watched through the backseat window while Matthew and Nicolas kissed. Deep in the pits of their stomach, they knew this wasn’t just any ordinary kiss; for this kiss spoke of something more, something very different.

Matthew and Nicolas were so consumed by their love for one another within that short, blissful, moment that when their lips touched, they exhaled through their noses slowly. Matthew’s head rolled back as Nicolas mashed their lips together passionately, while continuing to rub Matthew’s knuckles. When their lips finally parted, the word ‘Wow’ exited from their tender lips at the level below a whisper; they were both surprised by what had just happened that they smiled at one another in a daze.

“Well, you’d better get inside,” Matthew suggested, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Thank you again for bringing me to the camp. I had a lot of fun.” Nicolas gave a quick peck onto Matthew’s lips and ran towards his house. A quick wave then followed before shutting the door behind him.

Matthew stumbled around the front of the car, still in a daze from the kiss that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, even while he got himself into the backseat of the car beside Jacob and Kyle. “I’d say that was a wow moment for you Matthew, a Kodak moment,” Bill giggled, head turned around, facing Matthew. “You know, I wish your mother could’ve seen this, I really do.”

“Speaking of Mother, and I’m sorry to have to break up this special moment Matthew, but are you finally going to tell us where she is or isn’t? Because this isn’t some sort of top secret game, and we all want to know …” Jacob scowled bitterly.

This came out of nowhere, catching everyone off guard, and broke Matthew out of his dazed state. There was no reason for him to ask the way he had and it infuriated Kyle. He quickly turned his head towards Jacob, gave a look of disapproval, and withdrew his hand from Jacob’s grasp.

Bill took a breath and exhaled through his nose. “Yes, I suppose now is a good time as any,” he said, pausing momentarily. “Well, after dropping you guys off at the mall, I came home to find no one there. After I received no response to my beckon, I went upstairs to our room to check and see if she was sleeping, but she wasn’t there either. What I found instead was a note on our bed. The note said that it was too much for her to bear right now. She also said that she still loves you boys and that she didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable after the way she’d reacted. So in saying that, she just needs some time alone to process everything.”

“Did she say where she went?” Matthew quickly questioned.

“Yes, I do know where she went. However, I think it’s best to withhold that information from you right now. She just needs some time to be left alone so she can figure things out in that thick skull of hers,” Bill told the boys.

“BUT –” Matthew swiftly cried out.

Bill stopped Matthew dead in his tracks. “There will be no buts. That’s all I’m going to say of it, understood?”

Matthew didn’t heed his father’s warning and went to open his mouth once again in protest, but before he could manage to do so, Jacob elbowed him in the chest to reaffirm his father’s desire. “Okay Dad we understand, loud and clear,” Jacob groaned. Although, as much as he wanted to side with Matthew, he felt that he couldn’t press the issue any further. He didn’t much like this secrecy either, in fact it was tremendously frustrating. Not knowing the whereabouts of their mother was like their father saying that they no longer mattered, they weren’t important, and this was the end for them all. ‘Are we going to end up like Kyle? Is our mother leaving us? What’s she trying to hide? Why is she running? What is she running from?’ Jacob thought swiftly, but he knew he couldn’t answer this for himself, nor could he get the answers he desired at present because their father had slammed that door shut. The conversation was over; they were defeated, and starved for answers.

Bill returned his gaze back to the windshield, tightened his grip around the steering wheel, and sat silent for a moment. Inside he had a mixed bag of feelings. He knew it was wrong to hide some of the more distressing details from the boys, but he felt it was the right thing to do at present. After all, it was his parental duty, a commission of any good father, to protect their children and their significant others from anyone who’d try to harm them; physically or otherwise. That commission also signified that he had to protect them from his wife, as sad as that may have been.

There was no point in lying to himself, or even trying to deny it; he was still very displeased with his wife, specifically in the way she had acted when they found out their boys were gay. However, it was inexcusable what she had done; there wasn’t any way he could justify her actions and the words she used against their children, for those words were meant for harm and meant to cut like a sharpened steel sword.

Not only had Sarah managed to scar everyone that was present to see this entire fiasco, but it managed to scar him as well, and he couldn’t forgive her for that. He knew she was out of line and had no right whatsoever to put down the boys like that.

With all of these things considered, he still loved his wife, no matter what; vows were vows, to death do us part, through good times and bad. That’s not to say what she’d done was in any way acceptable, but he understood her need for space to figure out this entire situation in her thick skull; he knew of her stubbornness all too well, after twenty years of marriage, now was the time to wait for it held the answers of what was to happen next.

“Are you okay Daddy? You look like your mad at us, I can see your face turning red,” Matthew beckoned from the backseat.

“What? No. No I’m not mad at you, why would I be mad?”

Matthew shrugged. “I don’t know. You just look mad.”

“Sorry, I’m just thinking, that’s all, I promise. Now where do you live Kyle?”

“About four blocks away from your house. I’ll tell you where to turn when we get closer,” Kyle instructed Bill. “So just start heading towards your house.”

Jacob looked at Matthew and poked him in the shoulder. “So, Matthew, I believe you have some explaining to do.” Matthew gave his brother a weird look, and Jacob rolled his eyes. “Dude, I think you should tell us about that little kiss we just saw a few moments ago.”

Matthew’s face turned beet red after Jacob asked this that he couldn’t contain the smile that came across his face. “I don’t know it kinda just, you know, happened.”

“You really do love him don’t you Matthew? You know if I’m being honest, I feel somewhat bad about what I said to myself earlier. I thought Kyle and I weren’t anything like you, that only he and I loved each other. I’m sorry Matthew, but it’s all too clear to me now, I see the truth. We’re exactly the same,” Jacob spoke soft and sincere.

“It’s okay Jacob. I understand what you meant about being exclusive and I think you’re right about that one.”

Jacob was shocked to hear those words come from his brother’s lips. Somehow, his off the fly comment about being exclusive with Kyle hadn’t gone left unnoticed. It made Jacob happy that his brother was able to see some truth and bring meaning to it in a practical way.

Kyle smiled casually towards Matthew; he too was happy about Matthew understanding this great fundamental of being exclusive. “It’s number twenty-four on the left hand side … yeah right where that blue sedan is parked,” Kyle directed. Bill then pulled up in front of Kyle’s house and placed the car into park.

“Well my good sir, we’ve reached your destination. Shall I get out and grab the door for you?” Bill joked, trying to act all-important.

“Oh, so you think your all funny like Ha-Ha do you Daddy? Well guess what! You FAILED! So stop trying to make fun, because you’re no good at it,” Matthew said playfully.

“Well thank you for everything Bill I really appreciate it.” Kyle shook Bill’s hand, gave him a pat on the back, and hopped out of the car with Jacob.

Kyle poked his head back into the car through the passenger window. “Do you mind if I steal Jacob away for about ten minutes?”

“Sure go right ahead, I’ll be waiting right here for your return like any good chauffeur would do for his clientele,” Bill said, belting out a deep bass toned chuckle.

“HA you’re so funny! Good one Daddy,” Matthew belted out laughing in the backseat.

Jacob rolled his eyes at his father, and before he knew it, Kyle had grabbed him by the wrist and begun pulling him towards the front door of the house. Jacob had no idea what Kyle was planning to do, nor did he know why Kyle was quite literally dragging him. Kyle quickly let go of Jacob, unlocked the front door, and entered into the house.

“Are you home Mom?” Kyle beckoned into the house.

“Yes honey, I’m just in the kitchen. Hey, do you smell that sweet aroma? Can you tell me what it is baby?” Michelle yelled back.

Jacob pointed his nose into the air and took a sniff; something fresh, sweet, possibly peanut butter or oatmeal hit his nostrils. Kyle smiled and continued pulling Jacob towards his mother.

Michelle was standing at the kitchen counter, flipping something over on a baking tray. “Mom, I need to tell you something,” Kyle beckoned. Michelle turned around, wearing a bright pink apron, big red flowers scattered across the front, #1 mom embroidered across the top.

“And what could you possibly want to tell me honey?” Michelle questioned, curiously.

Kyle took a breath. “Well, at first I wasn’t quite being honest with you about Jacob, you see, um, he’s actually my boyfriend and I love him very much. I guess, I’m telling you all of this because I want your blessing,” Kyle announced boldly.

Michelle nodded her head, turned around, and grabbed the baking tray from the counter before returning to face the boys. “Do you boys want a cookie? I’ve just finished baking them; they’re your favorite, half peanut butter, half oatmeal.”

Kyle slapped his forehead and rolled his eyes. “No, we don’t want a cookie Mom!”

Jacob went to grab one, but Kyle quickly pulled him back.

“I was only kidding Kyle. It’s only natural – you shall have my blessing and then some. As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy. On a side note, do you honestly think you could pull the wool over Mommy’s eyes? Of course I knew, I’m your mother we know these things.” She concluded, walking towards them and embracing them with a hug and a kiss upon the forehead.

“Well I wouldn’t mind a cookie for the road and one for my brother too please.” Jacob joked. Kyle smirked and they all burst out into laughter.

After their joyful laughter had all but died down, Michelle returned her attention to baking more cookies and Kyle escorted Jacob off to the other side of the kitchen. “Well thanks for today. I love you very much Jacob and I hope you know that. So, how about after school tomorrow we come back here to hang out, just us.”

“Actually that sounds like an excellent idea. I’d love to come over and just hang, especially to see your room. I bet you have Justin Bieber posters all over your walls.”

“So, somebody thinks they’re a comedian now.”

Jacob shook his head. “You know I’m only joking … right?”

“Yes, of course I know you’re joking.” Kyle said, punching Jacob in the shoulder, lightly, like a love tap. “Then it’s all set, we’ll come here after school and find something to keep ourselves occupied.” He then winked and grabbed for Jacob; he held him tightly within his arms and felt happy to be with the love of his life. “I know I say this a lot, but I really do love you, so very much.”

“Oh Kyle, I know that you do,” Jacob said softly, bringing his forehead against Kyle’s own. He felt so close to Kyle at this precise moment, and he knew that something had to be done in response to what he was feeling, yearning for, or else he might explode.

Jacob began staring into Kyle’s majestic blue eyes and dared to look deep within his soul. While doing so, his gaze became bolder and soon thereafter images began popping into his mind. As if it were all a slideshow, he saw flowers, a child laughing, two men sitting on a plaid blanket, and a picnic basket close by; fragments of a picture.

The need for action, including the desire for more, quickly gripped Jacob and he lunged forward and pressed his lips against Kyle’s own. It was as if it were air, they needed this to survive for another moment in time. They showed each other their affections for one another with the lashing of tongues, while licking about in each other’s mouths. In the background, an old grandfather clock clunked away with each passing second. By the time they broke away from their kiss, they realized that they were still in presence of Kyle’s mother, Michelle.

Kyle turned around and peered towards his mother, she was watching them and attentively at that. Jacob noticed this too. “Sorry about that Michelle,” Jacob said.

“No, no, that’s perfectly all right. I can clearly see just how much you two love each other. Therefore I have no gripes,” she said nonchalantly.

Jacob and Kyle’s eyes gleamed towards Michelle. If there was ever any doubt of her acceptance and love for them, it was gone in that instant; for they now knew, she truly meant it from the heart.

More kissing then ensued, a kiss here, a kiss there. Eventually Kyle suggested that it was time for Jacob to go home since his father was still waiting outside in the car. “Your Dad’s still waiting for you, and I bet he’s getting impatient, so I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, giving Jacob one last kiss upon the lips. Jacob nodded and headed towards the front door.

“Good night my sweet prince,” Jacob shouted back before exiting out the front door.

Kyle turned around, sat himself down at the kitchen table. “So did you have a good weekend with Jacob and Matthew?” Michelle questioned.

“Loads, we went to the mall, a camp, hung out. Overall it was a fun weekend,” Kyle informed his mother.

“Good I’m glad,” she smiled. “This is the first time in quite a while that I’ve seen you this happy. I’m very pleased and excited for you and Jacob.”

“Thanks Mom, that really means the world to me. I’m so lucky to have a mother like you. You love me no matter what; I can feel it, hear it, and see it. Thank you for being the person I’ve always needed and never knew I had. Jacob and I are very happy just so you know, and he really does mean everything to me.”

“You don’t need to tell me that honey, I can see it, but it’s getting late, so why don’t you start getting yourself ready for bed. I know it’s a little early for you and all, but I’m sure you need to rest up in order to get up for school in the morning,” Michelle instructed.

“You’re probably right Mom, so I’ll say goodnight to you now, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” Kyle said.

Kyle wasn’t interested in making a fuss, because he had something to do before heading off to bed. Thus, he planted a kiss onto his mother’s cheek and started making his way upstairs and into his bedroom. After closing the door and turning on the light, he walked to his dresser and pulled it away from the wall. A small black notebook lay behind, hidden from sight. He swiftly grabbed a hold of it and returned his dresser back into place.

The notebook held many deep secrets, many emotional journeys, all of which was written in pencil and ink. Some pages had poetry, some pictures, but many were of personal thoughts, pains, joys, and confusion. This little book had been a friend in his darkest of days, a place where he knew his secrets were safe, where he could vent and share his innermost feelings within the confines of the pages.

Kyle walked to his bedside, grabbed a pen from the nightstand, and sat himself down on the bed. He opened his notebook midway and found his last entry, which he wrote the day before his life had changed forever; the day he and Jacob first talked and kissed. Kyle chose not to reflect on the content of that entry, so he simply turned over to the next page and began to write.

Dear diary,  

So many amazing, beautiful things have happened in my life this past week. I feel whole for the first time in a long time. I know that without any doubt in my mind that Jacob loves and accepts me for who I am.

Today we even went to a camp and had a lot of fun with some new boys that we met at the Naples Mall. Even though I didn’t like some of the things that had happened, it helped me realize just how much more I appreciate and love Jacob. He and I are soul mates, together, forever.

Kyle was satisfied with what he had managed scribble down, in fact, he was quite proud that he was able to convey how he truly felt in writing; compared to what he had written on the previous page only last week, this was like night and day.

Now finished with the task he’d set out to do before bed, he got himself undressed and under the covers. From there, he decided to look through his diary, which he’s had for the past four years. The first entry was dated May 2nd 2008 and read, ‘Today I realized some new things. It makes me feel confused and I don’t know what I should do. There’s this new kid in my class; he’s cute, and I don’t know why I think that, but am I not supposed to like girls like everyone else? Maybe I will know the answers tomorrow when I ask Daddy.

Kyle had forgotten about asking his father what it all meant. The memory then flooded into his mind: he approached his father the following morning, asked him what it meant to like boys. A stern look upon his father’s face showed his disapproval, and that was the end of that.

The next page listed an entry from January 12th 2009, ‘You’re the only one who knows the truth. I think that I might like boys. I can’t deny it anymore. I feel like I’m wrong and dirty. Why do I have to feel this way? Why can’t I just be normal?

Tears formed in his eyes when he turned to the next page. An entry from February 16th 2009 stared him in the face, ‘I don’t know what to do. I just wish I could be normal and like girls. Like everyone else does. Maybe it would be better if I just swallowed all my mom’s pills.

Kyle turned the page and hoped he’d find something good to comfort him and make him feel happy again. Instead, he found an entry dated May 6th 2009, ‘I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to write in a while. Life’s gotten harder for me. Mom says Dad left us. This makes me sad. Why did he have to leave us? Today was bad for me too. I was made fun of by some kids after they caught me looking at one of the boys in our class. They even spread a rumor about me too. Life really sucks, big time.

He couldn’t continue; the memories were becoming too vivid, too real in his mind again. Reading his journal was blurring the happiness that he felt no less than an hour ago. He knew he had to stop, or feel the consequences. He peered at his closet, which still rested slightly ajar, and sighed. He then placed the notebook upon his chest and tried to stop himself from crying.

Within a few minutes, he had cleared his mind from all the painful thoughts. Only by remembering what he currently had, and not the lack thereof, was he able to get his body to calm down. After bringing calm to the storm that raged within his mind, his eyes became heavy, and he slowly drifted away into a restful sleep with his journal still clenched tight to his chest. Shortly afterward, Kyle rolled over and the journal fell to the floor and landed beside his bed.

By the time Kyle had fallen asleep, Jacob and Matthew had made it home. When they arrived at the house, they went straight into the living room and turned on the television to relax for a while before heading off to bed. Bill sat himself down at the far end, closest to the wall and Matthew and Jacob lay snuggled together on the other side of the couch.

Suddenly, Josh and Kinshi’s commercial appeared across the screen. Bill got a good chuckle from it and agreed that it was a little over the top, but gave credit where credit was due because he thought it was an interesting twist on the normally dull theme parks that he’d been accustomed to. Bill then decided that he would take the time to call their parents tomorrow to discuss them going to Orlando for the weekend for a visit.

An hour later, Matthew and Jacob lay sound asleep, snoring up a storm. Bill gently tapped their noggins and suggested that it was time for them to head up to bed. However, Matthew didn’t budge; he was dead to the world, like a wet log. This also hindered Jacob from getting up since Matthew had fallen asleep on his thighs and he was unable to move because of this. When Bill’s constant nudging failed to wake Matthew, he got up from the couch and scooped Matthew in his arms. This freed Jacob from his tomb. With Matthew’s dead weight taken off him, he went to get up and as soon as he planted his feet down, he fell like a rock to the floor.

“Am I going to have to carry you too Jacob?” Bill laughed.

“No, I’ll be all right, I just need a minute. I think Matthew cut the circulation off to my legs,” Jacob replied, attempting to get back onto his feet. “Good to go,” he informed his father, limping towards the stairs.

By the time Jacob had reached the top step, Bill had already placed Matthew in bed, and was closing the door when Jacob beckoned towards him. “Are you heading off to bed now Dad?”

“No, I’m going to stay up a little while longer. Why do you ask?” Bill questioned.

“I was just curious, that’s all,” Jacob lied.

“Okay Jacob, well I’ll be the one waking you up in the morning for school. So please try to get a good night’s sleep, okay?” Bill instructed, making his way back downstairs.

After making sure that his father had gone downstairs to watch some more television, he slowly began tiptoeing down the hallway until he was standing directly in front of his parents’ bedroom. With a gentle touch, he took ahold of the doorknob, turned it ever so slightly, until it was fully turned without making a sound. He then pushed the door open and flipped on the light.

When he looked around, he saw everything as it always had been, the only difference being that his mother’s side of the bed lay perfectly manicured and unused. Jacob shrugged this off and continued tiptoeing around his parent’s bedroom. As his eyes peered around looking for anything that looked obscure, he noticed the dresser slightly ajar and quickly went over to inspect it. In his efforts, he hoped he would find what needed to be found, however his hands came up empty. He then sat down on his parent’s bed, thought, and eyed around the room. A trashcan soon caught his gaze; it peered back at him from the en suite bathroom.

Maybe it’s in there, possibly, hopefully,’ Jacob thought, swiftly getting up from the bed and walking towards the trashcan to look inside it. Bathroom tissue, an old receipt, and paper crumpled up into a ball lay inside the plastic bag. Jacob’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree the moment he saw it, his arms darted directly for the piece of paper and began unraveling it.

This was what he desired to find; the letter his mother had written. He knew this only because the first words written across the top of the paper read ‘Dear Bill,’ which stuck out like a sore thumb to him because he’d never known his mother to write notes to his father. With haste, he stuck the crumpled paper into his back pocket and began tiptoeing out of his parent’s room. He closed the bedroom door as quietly as possible and returned to his room.

Jacob quickly closed his bedroom door, turned on the light, and pulled the note out from his back pocket as he made his way towards his bed. Along the way, he began unraveling the letter, and attempted to return it back to its original condition. Slowly he sat down and began reading.

Dear Bill, 

I’m sorry but I refuse to accept that both our children are homosexuals, faggots, gay, whatever you want to fucking call them. I don’t care; just choose the name that suits you best. You must know that this isn’t normal. I’m beginning to believe that someone has sexually abused our boys because this whole situation isn’t normal, not even slightly. Who could have done this to them I don’t know, but it has to be the answer to all of this. It just has to be.

However, I believe there’s still hope in all of this, I think we can easily fix this. The first step is to get them both in counseling, and for that, I’ve already spoken with Dr. Jones and asked for his recommendation.

Then we’ll need to help them find some girlfriends. We have to fix this, because if you’re not with me then you’re against me. I’m sorry but you’ve really pissed me off today. How dare I? How about how dare you! How dare you take their side, how dare you not stick up for me and how I felt. I want grandchildren and grandchildren I’ll have. I will try to fix this even if it kills me.

If for whatever reason you come to your senses and you want to help me fix our children then I’ll be at my sister Jessica’s house. I also don’t want you telling the boy’s where I am; I refuse to hear any of their excuses.

From your wife, Sarah

When Jacob had finished reading the letter, he grabbed for his pillow and threw it clear across the room. He wished Kyle were here, holding him in a tight embrace, helping him bring comfort to his broken heart. Kyle always seemed to have the right words to say, the right touch; if he ever needed Kyle, it was right now.

He felt so alone and sad after what he’d just read that tears began welling up in his eyes and started falling down his cheeks. It felt as if each tear was hot as fire, burning embers, scorching their way down his tender cheeks.

Jacob didn’t know what to think anymore. He had believed everything his father had told them; yet, it had all been a lie. She hadn’t accepted them at all, not even remotely. She hated them and wanted to change them into what she desired.

Jacob finally decided to lie down and ponder the letter further within his mind. However, before he even had a chance to think about it, he was interrupted.

Bill opened the door, peeked his head inside. “I saw that your light was still on under the doorway. What are you still … shit, are you crying?” he asked. Jacob merely nodded, wiped the tears from his eyes. “Oh buddy, what’s wrong?”

“Promise you won’t be mad?” he muttered with the heaving of his chest. Bill nodded, and Jacob continued. “I snuck into your room and found the letter Mom wrote.”

“Oh Jacob … I really didn’t want you to find that. I’m sorry,” Bill apologized, his voice lowering with each syllable, while walking towards his son and planting his butt down beside him.

Jacob wiped his eyes again. “Yeah, well, I’m sorry I snuck into your room.”

“It’s okay Jacob. Sometimes curiosity can get the better of us. Just please do me a favor and give her some time to think things through. I know what you read was hurtful, for that, I’m sorry too. You don’t deserve that, no one does. I feel that she’ll come around eventually and realize her mistake, but as of right now, she’s speaking out of pure lunacy. I know deep down she loves you very much, and your brother too. Just don’t tell Matthew what you’ve read, please.”

“Okay Dad, I’ll keep it a secret, promise.”

“Good. Now please try to get some sleep. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow, well that’s if you want.”

“But I’m going over to Kyle’s house tomorrow.”

“Okay, well, I’ll be here if you need someone to talk to, okay buddy?”

Jacob quickly nodded. Bill nodded back, planted a kiss onto Jacob’s forehead, and went to return the pillow back to the bed. “Good night Jacob,” he said, closing the door. Jacob continued staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes before finally closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.


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