by Robert Furlong
A couple of months ago a lad called James I know at work pulled me to one side to show me something on his phone. I knew it was going to be a piss-take the way his mates were all sniggering and throwing glances at each other and it turned out it was the stupid mankini video which my missus had uploaded onto YouTube.
Maybe you've seen it: it was my 'Ice Bucket Challenge' filmed in August in our back garden. I'm there wearing the lime green mankini someone had bought me a few years earlier as a joke Christmas present, with my big beer gut sticking out and the kids getting the giggles. At the start of the video, I stand there like a total knobhead saying my nominations before Paula climbs up on the little fold-out step-ladder behind me and pours a bucket of water with a few ice cubes in it over my head.
My wincing and gasping should have been the end of it but the force of the water pulled the mankini down. For a couple of seconds you can see my titchy little dick and pathetic-looking nuts before I realise how exposed I am and quickly turn my back to the camera. That was probably the worst thing I could have done, because I end up showing off my big flabby arse until our oldest kid – Kieran – who was filming us starts laughing so much that the picture becomes blurred and shaky.
Anyway, I said to James, "Yeah, I've seen that loadsa times, mate."
But he just shrugged and was like, "Not this version, Bazza."
"How's this one different then?" I asked, wondering if one of the sneaky fuckers had re-edited it to zoom right in on my nads to make it even more obvious to all the sniggering gits how little I've got going on down there.
"It's the same video," James assured me, "just on a different website."
And that's when the first of his dorky mates couldn't help but blurt out a muffled guffaw, which quickly set the others off.
I looked at the website: something about 'bearcubs'. What the fuck was this?
"I don't get it," I said. "What's a bearcub?"
"It's a gay thing," James said totally straight-faced, while his mates were trying their best to cover their mouths as they spluttered and snorted even though it was obvious they were laughing at me.
"A gay thing? What d'ya mean?"
James would only say, "Take a look at the comments, Bazza."
He passed me his phone and I scrolled down to see what the video's viewers had written.
The first was from someone called toplad-82. I figured from what James had said that he must be some gay fella.
Stupidly I read his comment out loud: "Lovin this guy's big wobbly ass. Wanna rim it so bad."
That made the fuckwit mates laugh out loud.
"What's he mean he wants to rim my arse? How's that work then?"
Without so much as allowing himself a smirk, James told me, "He wants to lick your shitter, Bazza. Right between the cheeks."
I just stared at him. I couldn't believe it. Did gay blokes really do stuff like that to each other's' butts?
"This is a fuckin' wind-up, James," I said. "There's no way this is level."
"It's a real website," he assured me sincerely. "Just think, Bazza - there's a fella out there who wants you to sit on his face!"
"What, no shit?"
"That'd be between you and him, mate," James said without even the slightest amusement while his mates were falling about behind him.
I looked back at the phone and scrolled further down the comments. Most were just like, "So fuckin hot!" and, "Well horny!" but some bloke called bodmin_boy had said, "Lovely cute cock. Could suck that all night."
"Jesus, this fella wants to suck my willy!" I couldn't help but blurt out and, with his mates creasing up, James grabbed the phone and found a comment lower down.
"Look at what this bloke here wants to do to you, Bazza!"
I looked at the comment, written by todd*1991, and it read: "Most fuckable arse I've seen on here. Lube it up lads – I'm going in!"
"What's he mean, 'lube it up'?" I asked. I realise now how fucktarded I must have sounded.
James' mates were just about pissing themselves while he explained, "He means he wants to pork your rump, Bazza."
I must have just stared at him like I hadn't a fucking clue and he went on, totally matter-of-fact: "He wants to prize your flabby butt-cheeks apart, smear KY around your arsehole and then give you a good fucking up it."
"This bloke wants to actually bum me?" I asked wide-eyed.
"That's right, mate. He wants to make you his bitch."
"Fuck me!" I gasped.
"Yeah, that's the idea," James nodded.
Do you know the weirdest thing about the piss-take they'd played on me? Well it's this: I had a raging hard-on by the end of it. Not that anyone could have guessed because it always gets lost among all the creases and folds in my baggy boxer shorts.
I suppose getting turned-on by reading stuff like that is only natural really. It's kind of exciting to think that other people might really want to suck your cock and lick your butt and do all sorts of sexual stuff with you that your wife would never do in a million years no matter how drunk she was.
I wasn't even that bothered that it was other fellas wanting to do stuff like that to me: the important bit was that they thought I was "hot" and "horny" and "well fit" and "super sexy"! Show me a man in his right mind who wouldn't get turned-on by that!
"So am I like some sort o' gay sex god or somethin'?" I asked James. His mates were just about on the floor by now they were laughing so much. I noticed Darren had snot hanging out of his nose and Nat was a scary shade of purple.
But James was as cool as a cucumber when it came to handling himself in a wind-up. He could stay totally convincing even when everyone around him was falling about.
"You're a bearcub, Bazza. That's why your ice bucket video ended up on this... er... specialised website. It's for guys who like other guys built like you."
"What, fat and hairy?" I chuckled.
"Exactly," he agreed, although I'd only meant it as a joke.
"Really?" I said. "There's fellas who like chubby blokes wi' hairy chests? I thought gays liked muscly types all tanned and waxed?"
"Evidently some of them like the more curvaceous and hirsuit figure, mate!"
I never asked James how he found my video on the bearcubs site. It was the obvious question but the sort of thing that would only occur to me days or weeks later.
What I do know is that when I got home that night and once we'd got the kids off to bed, I went back to that website while Paula was prattling away to one of her mates on the phone.
I had to trawl through loads of sites before I found it, mind. I couldn't believe how many there were – James was kind of under-selling it when he said some gay guys liked the bigger and hairier types. There seemed to be hundreds of websites with blokes on them much fatter and hairier than me: some with amateur videos like mine but mostly with stuff that had been filmed as porn.
Eventually I found the right site and recognised the logo from what I'd seen on James' phone. I put in a search for 'mankini' and a thumbnail of my ice bucket video appeared in all its embarrassing glory.
Scrolling through the comments more methodically now that I was on my own, I found I became quickly turned on again from all the really sexy things these guys were saying about me. They genuinely found me seriously hot! If you saw me you'd laugh at that – I'm really not a guy anyone would ever call attractive. My wife reminds me how fuck ugly I am pretty much every single day and the nicest comment anyone has given me in the last few years was that I have a look of James Corden. I mean, most men would be totally fucking mortified to be told they looked anything like that lard bucket, but I was well chuffed and couldn't stop smiling for a couple of days!
One of the guys on the site said he wanted to finger my "huge wobbly ass" – which sounded weird but sort of interesting in a way – and another that he wanted me on top of him riding his cock. I wasn't sure what that meant and I had to look it up, but when I clicked on Google images and saw what this bloke had in mind for the two of us, I actually took my knob out from my fly and played with it a bit.
To think that another fella wanted me squatting over his dick, pumping it with my big flabby arse! For some reason the thought of a bloke sitting at home imagining me doing that made my cock more horny than it had been in ages.
Still rubbing and squeezing myself, I read further down the comments.
"Imagine licking those cute little bollocks while he was wanking his tiny cock," one fella said.
It might sound weird but to me that seemed like the naughtiest of all the comments. I had to read and re-read it several few times to make sure that I'd understood it properly.
I couldn't believe that a guy would be okay with me jacking off while the two of us were doing sexy stuff. From the first time we coupled up in the back of her parents' Mondeo, that's always been a total no-no for Paula. I was licking her out and must have grabbed my dick to bash away at myself while I was enjoying where my tongue was, and she pulled off me and told me in no uncertain terms I absolutely mustn't do "that sort of filth" in front of her.
Wanking is something guys do when they're on their own, she'd said. Like pissing or taking a dump: nice lads just don't do stuff like that in front of a lady.
I'd nearly asked, glancing around as if in confusion, "So where's the lady?" but the seriousness of her face stopped me in my tracks. She was in no mood for jokes: she really didn't want to see me pulling my pud, no matter how turned-on I got from what I was doing to her.
I've been together with Paula well over ten years and by now the idea of wanking with someone else in the room seemed... well... scandalous, I suppose. Even more exciting than having someone licking my butt... even more mind-blowing than the idea of taking another fella's cock inside me!
Maybe that explains what I did next: I jerked off properly reading the rest of the comments. I kept scrolling down and clicking 'See more' and whacking my dick faster and faster as I read them.
They were just so fucking horny! Every single one of them said something nice about me, whether it was how sexy my huge stomach looked or how hot my hairy nipples were – every comment was positive and so many guys said I how horny my knob was and what an amazing arse I had and how cute I looked blushing bright red when the mankini fell down.
I spunked up reading some guy's comment that he was also a big hairy guy and he wanted the two of us to lie in his bed together, face-to-face, kissing with our big flabby guts rubbing together and our chipolata dicks poking into each other. I don't know why it was that comment in particular that got me off. Maybe it was excitement from all the other raunchier comments that pushed me to the edge and that bloke's words just provided that extra bit of momentum. I don't know.
All I know is that I just kind of imagined being in bed with another fat bloke like me, both of us loving the fact we were big and hairy, and the idea of us kissing and poking our dicks together made my cock start spurting.
Funny thing to get a guy like me off, I guess.
There I was, with my kids asleep in their beds on the other side of the wall and my wife downstairs yacking on and on to her godawful friend, squirting my nut over some gay bloke's fantasies about my stupid mankini video.
Weird, I know. But that's how it happened.
Anyway, I felt pretty bad after I'd spunked and I went downstairs to give Paula a kiss, even though she was still on the phone. I felt like I'd cheated on her – which was daft, I know, especially given what I did in the weeks following – and I wanted to make it up to her.
I actually wanted to tell her how much I love her, but of course I couldn't do that because she was going at it non-stop to her friend and anyway it would have seemed really bizarre for me to just say something like that out of the blue.
So instead I went to watch telly which didn't last long because the baby monitor soon started up like it always does as soon as you sit down.
That night while Paula was asleep I had another wank. That's another thing she doesn't like – me beating the bishop without at least asking her for sex. Paula reckons wanking for a married fella should be desperate measures, but this time I didn't even want to ask for sex: I just wanted some time for me and my hand.
So once she was asleep I toddled off to the bathroom. I took my t-shirt and boxers off and looked at myself from all angles in the mirror. I did have a fat arse, but it turned out it was attractive to certain men, and I did sprout hair in odd places, but that didn't make me look like a gorilla like Paula had once said.
I could see as well that my cock was indeed unusually small – it was all the more obvious standing in front of a mirror like this – but even that seemed to hold an appeal for some guys. Paula always joked that when God was giving out body parts, I was so stupid that I'd got mixed up when I'd been supposed to ask for a big dick and a small gut.
I squatted down in front of the mirror like I would if I was riding the fella who'd written the comment that had turned me on so much. I looked sexy like that, especially when I bobbed up and down, and I rubbed my dick hard and fast imagining I had another big flabby hairy bloke like me thrusting away underneath me.
It was a bit weird for me to be able to get boned up again so quickly after my earlier wazz off. Normally it takes me ages to recover after spunking up but tonight it seemed like my todger had a new lease of life!
When I was really into it, I got up and bent over so I could look at my arse through the mirror. Sticking my massive butt out like this was how the blokes had been thinking of me when they said they'd wanted to fuck me. With my elbow going full speed I peered at the sweaty hairy crack between my cheeks: that's what all the other bearcubs like me had been fantasising about sticking their knobs into.
I'd shot my wad bending over like that so my jizz went all over the bath panel and onto the little fluffy mat underneath it. It had taken me ages afterwards to clean it off properly with warm water and soap because Paula's got hawk eyes for the slightest mess I leave anywhere.
It went on like that for a couple of weeks – sneaking a look at the website whenever I could wangle a free moment and afterwards tossing myself off at the computer and in the bathroom – before I plucked up the courage to take it further.
By now I was getting bored with reading the same comments over and over and as the video was starting to get dated it seemed fewer people were looking at it.
So that's when I decided to make a comment of my own.
I signed up the site as 'mankini_bearcub' because all the other names I would have preferred had been taken, and I wrote simply: "Hiya fellas! I'm the guy in the video!"
After I'd posted the comment I just stared at the screen like I was expecting loads of replies to instantly come flooding in. I hadn't really expected anything, but I still felt a bit disappointed when nothing happened.
The next time when I was able to take a look – a few nights later because I so rarely get a spare minute with everything else going on in our house – there were also no new comments. Mine was still the newest one listed at the top.
Maybe no-one actually cares who the real bloke in the video is, I wondered. Or maybe all the men who'd been fantasising about me have moved onto newer stuff by now.
But then I noticed a little speech bubble with a number 3 on it down at the bottom of the screen. At first I figured it to be an ad but then it struck me as odd that I'd never seen it before, all the times I'd been looking at this site over so many weeks.
So I clicked on it and it turned out I had three private messages.
Nice one, Bazza, mate! Here we go...
All three were from fellas wanting to meet up with me. It probably sounds stupid – my wife reckons most of what I say sounds stupid – but it was only when I read the first message that I realised I'd had the idea of a hook-up somewhere in the back of my mind when I'd posted my "Hiya fellas!" comment.
I reckon that somewhere in my sub-conscious, I must have secretly wanted to meet up with one of these guys who were saying all this sexy stuff about me. I swear to God I hadn't really thought of it like that until I read that first message, but somewhere in the back of mind a plan must have formed to sneakily hook me up with one of them.
Anyway, all three messages were from men who lived miles and miles away from where I live. And when I say miles and miles, I don't just mean London or Edinburgh or somewhere I could have got to with a train ticket and a far-fetched excuse to keep Paula from going off on one.
One guy was in Quebec, another in New Zealand and the third was somewhere beginning with D which I can't even remember. It sounded Russian but when I looked it up it was somewhere even more bizarre.
The point is that I started checking the messages every spare moment I could and it was only a matter of weeks before a bloke called Todd showed up who was feasible for me to get to. I worked out that I could drive to where he lived in a morning and – with a couple of hours for us to 'get to know each other' – would get home only an hour or so later than I usually do. I reckoned I could blag it so that even Paula – with all her constant questions – wouldn't get suspicious.
Not that I felt I was cheating on her – I still don't, to be honest. I was still happy to be the loving and devoted husband and the main breadwinner for her and the kids. I just wanted to do something for me for a change. And it wasn't like it was proper sex or anything deep and meaningful: it just seemed like a sort of passing interest as I saw it back then; just a bit of fun between me and another like-minded bloke.
As things panned out, though, Todd and I decided to meet up in a room at a Travel Lodge roughly halfway between where we lived. Not only did that make it easier for me, but he preferred it too because even though he was in his twenties he still lived with his parents. Inviting each other back to our own places just wasn't an option for either for us.
"Are you gay, Bazza?" Todd asked me once we were regularly messaging each other.
"No. Are you?" I asked him back.
"I'm not sure," he said. "Would it be a problem if I was?"
"Not really. As long as this stays totally non-serious for both of us. I don't think I'd cope with another bloke getting smoochy with me!"
"Absolutely," Todd had quickly agreed. "Like you, I just want some fun."
I asked him to send me a photo which felt was a bit weird to be honest. But he'd seen me in all my glory – even seen my junk pop out from that bloody mankini for fuck's sake – so it seemed only fair that I had an idea of how he looked.
It felt weird because I knew I was asking to see the face of the guy I was going to do sex stuff with. Like a date, maybe; or if not a date then at least a one night stand.
He asked me if I wanted a shot of him with nothing on. I said no, a selfie would do. It would have felt even more weird to start trading nuddie pics with other blokes.
I have to admit that I found the picture Todd sent me really attractive. He was fat – but I knew that already – and had a little goatie which he kept short. He had nice blue eyes and a really sweet smile and the first thing I thought when I saw what he looked like was, "Yeah, this is going to be really easy!"
What I mean by that is, I'd worried I was going to freak out when we met up. That the whole sex thing would seem too strange and scary for me to actually go through with and that I'd just get back in my car and get the fuck out of there.
But when I saw how sweet he looked – how cute he was but not in a girlie or effeminate way – I knew I'd stay for the course. I'd have sex with him, as long as he himself was up for it, and if he wanted to we could maybe keep meeting up afterwards.
The day came round soon enough and I pulled into the layby I'd already had figured out and called in work to say I was sick. I'm not totally stupid, you see: I can plan things out far better than Paula would ever give me credit for.
I got to the Travel Lodge first and checked into the room, letting the snooty receptionist know that my "associate, Mr Stewart," would be along shortly. Once I'd let myself in and taken a quick look around I just sat there on the bed waiting for him to show up. I kept wondering if he'd stood me up and whether maybe I should drive home because this had all been some awful mistake; wondering if the bed I was sitting on really was the bed I'd end up canoodling with another guy on.
But Todd appeared soon enough and once he did things flowed pretty well. We got on like we were old mates or something; we could easily make each other laugh and found hearing what we both had to say genuinely interesting.
I'd expected things to be awkward between us, but it wasn't like that at all. The conversation seemed to flow naturally between us and I think we were both relieved that we were able to hit it off without really trying.
"Have you ever done anything like this before?" I asked him following a lull in our chit-chat.
"No," he smiled, sitting on the bed next to me. "To be honest, Bazza, I'm pretty much a virgin."
"But all that stuff you wrote on the bearcubs site... about what you wanted to do me...? It was pretty graphic... I figured you must have been around a bit..."
"It was all just fantasy, mate. I've never properly been with anyone – male or female."
He smiled again – a sad sort of smile – and I tried to smile back but I don't think it really worked.
He asked, "So what about you... have you done stuff like this before?"
"No," I admitted. "This is new for me too."
He got off the bed and for a second I thought he was going to say he was leaving.
But instead he said, "Maybe we should get undressed, Bazza...? Snuggle up together... see what works for us...?"
For a virgin, Todd seemed to intuitively know what to do. Throughout all the sex we had together, he always seemed to instinctively know what would work best in any given situation.
I wish I was like that!
We took our clothes off but before we could get under the duvet, Todd came around to my side of the bed and pressed his cock up against mine.
"Your dick is so beautiful," he said, working our two knobs together.
"Yours is bigger," I grinned. It was: anyone who says fat blokes always have small cocks is lying. Todd, for all he was fatter than me, had a prick at least three times the size of mine.
"Size isn't related to beauty," he argued. "Yours is really lovely just as is it is, Bazza."
"My wife says it's like her little finger. Or more recently she's started saying it's like our youngest kid's little finger."
He didn't smile. Instead he said, "Does your wife call you Bazza?"
"Yeah," I admitted.
"In that case, can I call you Barry?"
I chuckled. "Only my mum calls me Barry."
"But can I call you Barry?"
"Yeah, if you want to." I couldn't see what the big deal was.
"Okay, Barry. Barry it is."
He smiled more broadly at me and I couldn't help but laugh. "Why's my name so important?"
"It's just... well... I don't want anything in common with your wife."
"Okay," I nodded. "I'm happy with that."
Todd reached out and fondled my cock and my bollocks and I did the same to his with us smirking naughtily at each other. I was surprised by how it felt to be touching another man in such a private place: it didn't feel 'wrong' or 'dirty' or 'gay' even. It just felt nice and kind of sexy for him to be letting me do something so intimate to him.
I could feel him getting hard and that felt even better. It made my dick start to grow too and Todd laughed at the way it was reacting to his hand.
"Sorry, Barry. I'm not laughing at your cock," he said.
"I don't mind if you are. My wife does it all the time."
"Can we have an agreement, from now on? Not to mention her?"
I shrugged. "Okay."
"I was just laughing," Todd explained, "because it feels so strange to have you getting a hard-on in my hand. And because from the stuff I've read on the internet, I think you're a grower!"
"A grower?" I asked. All I could think of was my dad and all the plants he had in his greenhouse when I was a kid.
"Yeah, your cock is small when it's limp but it grows much bigger when you get aroused."
"Don't they all do that?" I asked.
"Not to the same extent," he explained. "Yours is like... wow! It's already bigger than mine and mine's standing up!"
I laughed back at him, enjoying how nice his cock looked poking upwards from his bollocks, but pleased that he also clearly liked the look of mine as it was growing to full size.
"Should we get in the bed and have a cuddle?" I asked him. I was getting turned on by the idea of us poking our knobs into each other.
"Can we do something else first?" he asked. "Something I've always wanted to do but... well... I've never had the chance up until now?"
"Okay," I shrugged. "Whatever you want to, mate."
"Can I fuck you, Barry?" he asked outright. "Properly, I mean... up your arse...?"
"Okay," I laughed. "But I thought that... you know... we could sort of work up to the heavy stuff..."
"I thought that too... but I really want to do you Barry... I really need it, to be totally honest!"
I got on the bed while Todd went over to his coat to fish some stuff out from one of the pockets. From behind he looked pretty amazing, I have to say: his arse was massive, even bigger than mine, and the crack was sprouting a forest of hair making me wonder how it would feel to push my own dick between his lovely, flabby cheeks.
"You've thought a lot about what it'd be like to bum another fella, then, have you?" I asked.
"Of course I have," he grinned over at me and passed me a little tube of something which he'd brought with him. It read: 'KY Jelly'. This was the stuff James had mentioned. I was pleased that I didn't have to make a tit of myself by asking him what I supposed to do with it.
He kept talking, opening a box of johnnies, "Pretty much ever since the first time I wanked I've fantasised about getting my dick up some fella's arse! What it would feel like... how great it would be to have a guy bending over in front of me..."
"You've never thought about shaggin' some bird's pussy, then?" I asked, squirting some of the jelly on my finger and working it up my butt-hole. "That's what I used to think of when I first –"
"No, that sort of stuff has never done if for me," he cut in, ripping one of the little square sachets open. "It's always been screwing blokes' arses that I've wanked off thinking about... even when I was a kid..."
"So that's why you think you might be gay," I suggested.
"It's just one of many subtle clues," he grinned.
As he started unfurling the rubber down his curving hard-on, I was suddenly reminded of a comment that Paula had made a few years earlier. I didn't say anything to Todd about it of course: mentions of my wife were now strictly off-limits.
She'd had a friend around and the three of us were watching some crap on the telly; maybe a soap or something. A couple of gays were getting it on together and the friend had made some sarkie dig about me having urges on that score. Before I could answer, Paula had brayed with laughter and said, "If some bloke wants to poke away at Bazza's skiddy arse, he can be my fuckin' guest. There's no way I'd touch the shitty thing with a six foot pole!"
So here we were. A bloke did want to poke away at idiot Bazza's arse and it turned out that Bazza was well up for it!
I got on all fours and stuck my bum out like I had in the bathroom in front of the mirror. I was about to be fucked up it by a guy I hardly knew and yet I wasn't scared at all by the prospect. This was something that felt right in a funny sort of way and I was absolutely determined that I was going to go through with it.
"Have you always fantasised about women, then Barry?" Todd asked as he got on the bed behind me, put his hands on my hips and lined his dick up behind my big dimply buttocks.
"Yeah. Until I read all those sexy comments that fellas had written about my mankini video," I told him over my shoulder. "That was what made me wonder what it'd be like to do stuff with another bloke."
"And you're liking it now that you're with another bloke?" he asked, as he pressed the head of his cock into my hairy butt crack.
"Yeah," I smiled. "It's actually better than I would have thought. Loads better to be honest!"
"So maybe you've got a gay side too," Todd suggested.
As his manhood started to push through my arse-ring, I was going to say no I definitely hadn't, but that seemed stupid given that I was bending over to take another fella's hard-on up my bum, so instead I agreed that maybe I had.
"Maybe it just took me this long to realise it, Todd," I admitted as my rectum struggled to accommodate how massive his organ felt.
"Maybe you just had to wait until you met the right guy," he chuckled as it seemed like a tree trunk was sliding steadily up into my bowels.
"I don't think I'm properly gay though," I told him as I winced at how big his cock felt. It hadn't looked even half the size it now seemed when he'd been rolling the johnnie down it!
"Properly gay?" he asked.
"What I mean is, I still love Paula – sorry for havin' to mention her but I do think the world of her – and I've got three kids so I must be mostly straight."
Once he'd worked the whole six inches or so of his knob inside me, he paused with his bollocks pushing into the backs of my thighs.
He called down to the back of my head, "Does that feel okay for you, Barry? Having my dick all the way up your bum?"
"It feels better now it's in," I chuckled and looked across at our reflection in the mirror on the wardrobe doors.
We made a hell of a sight: one hairy fat bloke getting bummed by another!
Todd looked over too and we smirked at each other. He started fucking me slowly – his cock gently working in and out of my splayed round arse and we grinned more broadly.
"We make a pretty picture," I laughed, finding it enjoyable to watch my big butt getting shafted by another fella's stalk.
"We look well hot!" he agreed with his face starting to redden.
"Is this what you were dreamin' about all those years wankin' yersel' off?" I asked him.
"Fuck yeah!" he gasped with his rhythm starting to quicken. "So many thousands of times... this is the image that's been in my mind!"
I chuckled at the idea: it seemed so strange to me. I'd always considered shagging up the bum as an absolute last resort; something to be endured if Paula wouldn't let me do her round the front because it was the wrong time of her month or whatever. The thought that Todd had spent years and years fantasising about getting his knob up a big hairy arse like mine was really funny in a way.
He grabbed me firmly by the hips and started thrusting more roughly in and out of me. His hips were making loud slapping noises against my bum-cheeks; like my arse was getting spanked by one of those high-class prostitutes.
"Is it as good as you hoped it would be?" I asked him as he banged away behind me.
"Way better!" he grunted, his forehead now pouring with sweat. "I'm not gonna last long, mate... I've needed this way too long!"
He looked pretty cute, I have to say: gasping and panting as he lost his virginity to my arse. I was feeling turned-on too – my cock was really throbbing – but after all the years Paula had barred me from whacking off during sex, it wouldn't have felt right for me to give myself a grope while Todd bonked away with his knees between mine. Stupid, I know; but that's just me.
"Can I do you when you've finished?" I asked him while I stared at the headboard. "I wanna know what it feels like!"
"Course you can!" Todd muttered from behind. "You'll fuckin' love it!"
He moved his hands up to grab me by the shoulders and held me steady as he started roughly and quickly pounding in and out of me.
I looked back at the mirror and laughed at his reflection: heaving and grunting and with his forehead really pouring with sweat. He stared back at me, his expression totally serious at first, but then broke into a grin when he realised I wasn't making fun of him.
I just found it dead funny that he enjoyed bum sex so much. All the times that Paula had made me use the back door I'd done it more through desperation than because of wanting it, but here was Todd huffing and puffing away like he was having the time of his life!
"Enjoy yourself!" I told him still smirking at his reaction.
"I fucking am mate!" he gasped, in spite of the stink my arse was kicking out. "Jesus this feels so good! I've wanted to stoke a fella's arse for so fucking long!"
"Well stoke away mate!" I chuckled. "It's all yours!"
I kept getting the urge to wank myself off while he was bashing his hips against me but that stupid rule in my brain wouldn't let me.
Todd pulled my upper body up so that my back was pressing against his big wobbly gut and then repositioned his legs so that his knees were around my hips.
"Squat down like I am, Barry!" he urged me. "I wanna feel our nuts slapping together!"
I told you that for a newbie Todd knew exactly what to do. He must have watched so much gay porn over the years that he knew all the best positions.
The first time I'd done stuff with Paula, on the other hand, had been an absolute disaster. I hadn't a clue what I was doing and ended up spunking up all over her blouse.
We squatted like that – Todd's flabby gut grinding against my hairy back – and he wrapped his arms around me while he fucked me as hard and fast as he could. He was right that it felt really good with our knackers smacking against each other, and I have to admit that kneeling upright together was a really sexy position. It felt so different and exciting to feel his frantic cock ramming in and out of my behind while his hot breath was panting against my neck and his sweaty hairy chest was rubbing between my shoulders.
It was like nothing I'd ever experienced with Paula – but then, that's pretty obvious, I suppose!
Muttering something about wanting me to enjoy it too, Todd reached down and found my flag pole at full mast and started jerking it off quickly and roughly as he worked his hips tirelessly against mine.
"That feels nice," I grunted back appreciatively. Paula would never go to the effort of giving me a handjob these days; even back when we'd first hooked up they'd been something of a rarity.
"Reach underneath me, Barry!" Todd gasped as he rapidly beat my knob off. "Finger my arse while I fuck you, mate!"
"I've never fingered an arse," I told him hesitantly. "Only a fanny!"
I mean, I didn't want to fuck it all up at such a crucial stage.
"Do your best!" he panted. "Just stick your middle finger up my butt!"
I did as he was asking and pushed my hand between his thick slippery thighs. There was a hot wet forest just behind his swinging bollocks and I plunged my fingers into it to find his swollen sticky hole.
As soon as my finger was pressing into it – and it seemed so much less complicated than the palaver I had to go through with Paula – he started crying out in short gasping breaths: "Yes! Yes! Oh fuck! Yes!"
Jesus, did my orgasms make me sound like such a total bozo?!
It'd be cute for me to say that the two of us spunked off together that very first time. It'd be kind of romantic, almost. But I held off: I've told you how long it can take me to recover after I've shot my nut and remember I had to be heading back home in just an hour or so.
So I let him do his thing behind me and stopped myself from shooting even though I was loving the way his hand was whacking away at my dick.
When he'd finished the two of us lay down together on the bed and, while he got his breath back, I put my arms around him and snuggled into him in a way that would make Paula go ape. She's never been one for close contact, especially in bed.
"Thanks for that, Barry," he said when he'd recovered. "I can say straight up, mate, that's the best sex I've ever had with another guy!"
I chuckled and just cuddled into his pudgy chest. I was getting the odd whiff of his sweaty armpit and the smell of it was surprisingly pleasant.
"You can have your turn soon," he added. "Just because I've cum, don't think I won't be up for it!"
"You're a horny bugger aren't you?" I laughed.
"I'm a bloke like you, mate, so I'm probably just as horny as you are."
"I dunno about that," I muttered glumly. "I'm usually pretty useless for ages after I've cum."
"Maybe that's just the rut you've got into," he suggested. "Now that you're doing stuff that's new and different for you, maybe you'll feel horny again a lot more quickly."
I nodded: he had a point on that score. The night I'd first wanked off to all the comments on the mankini video, I'd been at it again in the bathroom just a few hours later.
Todd put his arm around me, making the smell from his armpit stronger and more interesting in a sexy sort of way, and I wondered why I was liking being with him so much. It definitely wasn't a romantic thing – I didn't want things to get all heavy with him so it couldn't be anything like that – but something was making lying here in the stark nuddies with another bloke feel so nice and so strangely right.
I figured it must just be that Todd had made me feel special by all the comments he'd written about my video. Here was someone who actually finds me attractive, and it's important for a guy to know that's he's attractive every once in a while.
That must be why it was so good to be with him like this. It was a confidence thing – my mother had always told me I was lacking in it – and having Todd let me know that my stupid titchy dick and my big flabby behind were arousing to him was something that I must have really needed to hear.
I pressed into him and, without really thinking about, leaned in to kiss his nipple.
He giggled and then announced, "I'm so glad we met up, Barry. I've got to admit I nearly bottled it when I pulled into the car park and – I wasn't gonna tell you – but I came close to driving straight back out again."
I smiled against the hairy skin of his chest. I was really pleased he hadn't: if he had let me down, I don't think I'd have wanted to go through with all this again. I'd have probably ended up getting so pissed off that I'd have deleted my 'mankini_bearcub' account and I would never have known how great it could feel to get together like this with another fella.
And that would have been a real shame because I could now see that this was something I wanted a lot more of.
"You should have brought your green mankini with you," Todd said when we were sitting on the edge of the bed in the nuddie watching my ice bucket video on his phone.
"Aw yeah, I should have," I replied, feeling annoyed with myself that I'd been so dim-arsed yet again. "I'll bring it next time for sure. Don't let me forget."
"There's gonna be a next time?" he asked with a surprised smile.
"If you want there to be..."
"Yeah, I do," he said brightly. "This has been great, you and me... we've got to do it again!"
"I don't know how often I can wangle it, mind. I can't take that many sickies off work and I've gotta be careful with... you know... the other stuff I have goin' on..."
I didn't want to mention Paula again.
He nodded. He knew the score.
"Next time, maybe we can meet up closer to your place," he suggested. "You pay for the room and I'll do most of the driving. How does that sound for a deal?"
"Yeah, sounds pretty good. It'll be easier for me to sort things if I'm only gonna be missing for a couple of hours."
He smiled but I could see he didn't like the 'couple of hours' bit. He wanted me for longer but didn't want to sound too pushy; at least not yet.
He looked back at the video and paused it right at the bit when the mankini had fallen down and I was turning around with my back to the camera.
"This is the best part," he chuckled. "Just here, right when your arse is sticking out and you're bending over to try and pull the mankini back up."
"Is that what you wank off over?" I laughed, amused that seeing my big hairy crack would turn him on so much.
"Yeah," he grinned and I could actually see his knob starting to stiffen up again. "This bit always gets me... well... all the way to nutville!"
"Wishing you had your dick buried up my bum as I'm bending over?"
Mine was growing longer too. The idea that other fellas might be yanking their tent poles off imagining themselves pumping away at my flabby arse was funny but also weirdly sexy.
"A bit of that... well quite a lot of that," he admitted with a sheepish smile. "But also... something else..."
"What?" I asked with a laugh while my cock started rising upwards.
"If you really wanna know, I mainly jerk off imagining I was crouching down behind you..."
He paused and I urged him to go on, liking where this was heading.
"I must have spunked up countless times, thinking of pushing my face between your cheeks... sticking my tongue into your hot hairy crack and licking round and round your wrinkly little arsehole!"
"Fuck!" I laughed with my horn-on sticking right up. "You actually like doing that?"
"I dunno," he shrugged with a naughty smirk. "I never got to try it! I once sniffed the back of my mate's dirty keks when I found them on his bathroom floor and I really liked that so I figure I'll love the real thing!"
"It's called rimming," I informed him, keen to show off the one piece of information I knew about it.
"Yeah," he agreed without seeming at all impressed. "Do you think you'd like it?"
"Doing it or havin' it done to me?"
"Do you think you'd like standing up right now," he spelled out, "bending over and letting me stick my face between your big sexy arse cheeks. Letting me push my tongue up your cute little bung-hole. Do you think you'd like that?"
"Fuck yeah!" I grinned. "I'd fuckin' love it!"
"Go on, then," he urged me. "Stand up and turn round!"
I did as he said with my donger on full bone and I watched him through the wardrobe mirror as he knelt down behind me and pressed his face into my big hairy arse. It was weirdly mesmerising watching another fella doing that behind me: sniffing my gaping butt crack and licking his lips with his cock poking upwards he was so turned on.
He pulled back and smirked at me through the mirror, his face right next to my two round arse cheeks. He said, "You've got to wank your dick off while I rim you, Barry. It'll make it feel even better."
"I can't do that," I shrugged, feeling daft that I couldn't. "My wife..." I began to explain before remembering he didn't like me to mention her. "Let's just say I've got a bit of a thing about it, mate."
"But it'd be okay for me to reach round and pull it off for you?"
"Yeah!" I grinned. "That'd be well sharp!"
"Let's do it that way then!" he smiled back at me and then pressed his face back into my forested arse crack.
Once he'd found my swollen little hole with his tongue, he reached up and groped at my grateful throbbing cock. It took him a little time to figure out how to whack me off properly with the weird angle he was at, but once he got the hang of it, it felt great the way he squeezed at my shaft and jerked my foreskin up and down with a nice firm rhythm.
It felt even better to have his hot wet tongue licking at my arsehole and to feel his nose and chin wedging between my cheeks. I'd never thought of my bum as being a sexy place at all, but now that Todd's face was pressing right into it and he was tonguing my ringpiece, I was getting so turned on that my knob end was starting to dribble.
I looked down and saw that he was wanking his own cock just as fast as his other hand was doing me. I loved that he was getting so aroused from rimming me: until I saw his fist pumping away at his stiffie I think I'd held back a bit in case he was finding that maybe my taste back there was a bit rougher than he'd expected.
But once I saw how turned on it was making him, I let myself really get into it.
"Ah yeah!" I called down to him, opening my legs wider and bending forwards slightly so he could get his tongue right into my butthole. "This feels proper horny!"
His hands sped up on both our cocks and I have to admit he was right about how good it felt: having my dick wanked off with another bloke's face slobbering away between my arse cheeks has to be one of the most exciting sensations I'd ever experienced.
I reached back to grab the back of his head and pushed it hard between my big round buttocks. The friction of his goatee beard was making my bum crack tingle and the licking of his tongue inside my passage felt like nothing else.
"Come on, eat me out, mate!" I cried out in pleasure. "Lick my fuckin' arsehole... hard and deep!"
Todd really plunged in and I ground his face as rough as I could into my splayed hairy crack. The speed of his hand on our cocks showed me how much he was loving it, but then he surprised me by pulling back, gasping for breath as he let go of my dick.
"Turn round, Barry!" he panted up to me. "Let me suck your cock!"
Since no-one had ever said that to me before, I did he what he asked as quick as I could before he had chance to change his mind! Not that he would have – I know that now – but at the time I was desperate to get my first taste of a proper blowjob.
I mean, a girl I knew at school had once given my pecker a quick lick as part of a dare, and early on when we were dating Paula had got my bell-end in her gob before she'd gagged, but I'd never been sucked off properly.
Todd, though, was well up for it! As soon as I turned around, his mouth was around the shaft of my prick, his lips slurping and feasting on it like it was a delicious juicy lolly.
Loads of fellas on the bearcubs website had said they wanted to suck my cock but I hadn't really believed them. Until Todd was slobbering away, bobbing his head up and down on my stalk, I'd thought it must be just something gay blokes say to turn each other on: I hadn't actually thought anyone would want to do it for real!
It was only when I got my chops round Todd's knob, the next time we met up, that I realised it didn't just feel great to have your own dick sucked but it felt pretty amazing to do it to another guy as well.
"Ah yeah!" I called out. "That's fuckin' tops that is!"
He was licking up and down my shaft, slavering over my cock head and even kissing my nuts.
He looked up at me and grinned with one of my short and curlies sticking to his lip. "I've wanted to this for so fucking long, Barry!"
"Well get yer gob right round it!" I laughed down to him. "Let me fuck yer mouth while ya suck me real hard!"
He did as I'd asked, trying not to gag as he consumed the whole length of my cock, and I grabbed his head on both sides to hold it steady. Then I bucked my hips to slide myself in and out of him, gasping with pleasure at the feel of his throat sucking the juice out of me.
This was absolute bliss! Why the fuck had no-one ever done this to me before?!
I quickly sped my rhythm up, jabbing in and out of his mouth like I'd told him I would, and my bollocks started slapping against his chin, feeling tickly from they were knocking against his beard. He grabbed my arse with both hands and held onto it firmly while his tonsils and tongue did their work.
I just couldn't believe how amazing this felt. Everything about it – his mouth around my knob, my knackers thumping against him and even his hands cupping my big, round butt-cheeks – all combined to make it totally incredible.
Soon I was slamming my cock as hard and as fast as I could in and out of his mouth. I was dribbling a load of goo – he was having to swallow to keep up with how much of the stuff was trickling out of me – and I was grunting and panting as I thumped my pubic bush back and forth against his face.
"Oh Jesus, Todd!" I called out. "I fuckin' love you, mate!"
I meant that I loved him for what he was doing – the way you'd tell a friend you loved him if he picked the right dog for you at the races – but once I'd said it I realised it was open to being taken another way.
Todd didn't respond – how could he with my knob banging away down his throat? – but I noticed he took one hand off my arse and started tossing himself off as he knelt between my legs.
"I'm gonna fuckin' cum!" I gasped, feeling the sweat trickling down my back and into my butt crack. "I'm gonna fuckin' spunk down yer throat!"
Todd suddenly pulled away and left my dick – all wet and frothy from mouth – just thrusting stupidly away into thin air.
"What's up?" I asked, feeling really disappointed. "Don't ya like the idea of me shootin' in yer gob?"
"Yeah, I love it," he panted, as out of breath as I was from having my knob down his throat. "We can do that another time, Barry... I promise. It's just this time... 'cos it's the first time... I want you to cum up my bum!"
Ever the romantic: that's our Todd!
He threw me a condom and I quickly put it on. My cock was so red and sensitive from his mouth that I was afraid the bloody thing might go off just from having the johnnie slid down it.
He lubed up his hairy arse-crack and then lay down on the bed, his back against the duvet and his legs wide open like he was a woman waiting for a bloke to get on board.
I laughed when I saw him like that. I knew it was breaking the mood but I really couldn't help myself.
"Come on, Todd... turn over the other way, mate! I can't shag yer bum like that!"
"'Course you can, Barry," he smiled. "I want us to do it face to face... I want to see how you look when you're in the middle of cumming..."
"Stop messin' about," I chuckled. "We're two fellas you and me! We've got to do it... you know..." I couldn't think of how to describe so I settled on: "the gay way."
I meant that I thought he had to be on all fours with me behind him. I thought that's how blokes always had sex when they were using the back door: one bending over for it, the other looking at the back of his mate's head.
Barry had other ideas. I guess he'd seen more gay porn than I had, although that wouldn't be saying much I have to admit!
He said, "Come on, Barry, get on top of me, like you would if I was a woman. Trust me, mate... it'll work... I'll guide you in..."
I got on top of him – our fat bellies pressing up against each other and our big gangly legs getting all tangled up – and in spite of our physical awkwardness I was amazed at how right it felt to be with him like that. It felt good to be smiling at each other while our hard-ons poked together and I felt a funny shiver of excitement when our hairy chests were touching.
It sounds soft, I know; but that's how it felt.
He lifted his legs right up so that the backs of his shins were pinned underneath my shoulders and then reached down to grab my cock to guide it down between his thighs. To my surprise I felt it going into him: I could feel the hot softness of the inside of his bum and the slimy wetness of the lube he'd worked up there.
I pushed myself forwards, easing more of my shaft into his backside, and I felt his knob getting harder against my stomach, growing big and stiff like mine had done when he'd pushed inside me.
"Oh yeah, Todd!" I grunted. "It's fuckin' workin' mate... I'm actually bummin' ya from the front!"
The whole of my cock was sliding right into him; it was far easier than I'd thought. It must have been the angle of our bodies, or the way he had his legs splayed so wide open.
He grinned up at me, our noses nearly touching. "I thought you'd like it this way, mate."
I said, "Why did you think that?"
I figured I knew why he thought that but I wanted to ask him anyway. He thought this way would be easier for me: in this position it was more like I was shagging a woman. I could imagine that my dick was up a fanny instead of porking a bloke's arse and that it wouldn't feel so 'gay' for me, the way it would if I was doing in from behind.
But he wasn't thinking that at all. Or at least he had a different reason ready to answer me with.
"Because this way, Barry, you get to taste your own cock."
"How's that work then?" I asked, starting to drive my knob in and out of his silky smooth tunnel and feeling his own throbbing hard against my gut.
He reached up and pressed his mouth to mine and gently entered my lips with his hot wet tongue. I smiled against him and pushed my tongue into his, tasting ever so slightly the leftover saltiness of the blowjob he'd given me but enjoying the kiss far more for what it really was.
We held together like that, our lips pressed together and our noses nuzzling into each other, as I speared my cock in and out of him more firmly and my balls started thumping against the insides of his thighs.
Our eyes were locked together, the two of us loving the sensation of being so passionately connected, until his arse let out a hell of a fart and we both laughed like drainpipes at how grim it stank.
Once I'd resumed my thrusting, the two of us really got into it. We grabbed onto each other, grinding our bodies together, as we panted and gasped into each other's faces and the sweat from my forehead dripped down onto his.
"Come on, fuck me, Barry!" he urged me, digging his fingers into my back.
"You want it, you got it!" I chuckled, pushing his legs more widely apart and hammering my hips against the insides of his thighs.
"Ah yeah!" he cried out eagerly. "Come on, big man! Give it to me, mate!"
I laughed and did him as hard as I could: much faster and rougher than I would ever dared to screw Paula.
"Come on, Barry!" he kept insisting. "Nut off up my bum... shoot your muck right up my hairy arse!"
The idea that he might have wanted me to think of his butt-hole as a fanny now seemed plain daft. He was loving that I was shagging him up his big blokeish arse and he could see from how hot and sweaty I'd become how much I was enjoying it too.
"Come on, mate! Fuck me! Fuck my hole so hard!"
He winced and whimpered and I felt warm wet stuff splashing onto my stomach. I realised he was firing off – that his cock was spewing its load just from having my stomach rubbing it up and down against his own – and the realisation set me off too.
I kissed him again, taking the lead this time and pushing my tongue into him deeply, and then my cock started shooting inside him, filling the condom as my nuts gave their all.
As I kept gasping and squirting, my hips still banging away between his sweaty thighs, his balls were still emptying themselves until our stomachs and chests were thick with all the jizz he'd pumped out.
"Sorry," he laughed when I eventually pulled myself up off him and his spunk was hanging like spiders' webs between us. "I guess I kind of enjoyed that!"
I laughed back at him. "I loved the way I could actually feel you creaming off while I was shaftin' ya bum!"
He smiled and I added, "With Paula I'm never sure if she's faking it."
His smile vanished and I apologised for mentioning her.
"I don't mind you mentioning her sometimes, Barry," he said. "I mean she's obviously an important part of your life. Just not when we're making love. Maybe that should be the rule."
I smiled at him again, passing him some tissues as I dabbed myself down with a wodge of them. "Making love? I like that sound of that. It sounds... well... cute!"
"That's what we just did, mate," he laughed, wiping his spunk off his chest and stomach. "I made love to you and then you made love to me!"
I laughed back at him. "It sounds a lot better than 'bumming' or 'butt-fucking' or whatever. It makes it sound like... I dunno... it's more special maybe."
"I like 'butt-fucking' as well," he smirked. "Meeting up to take turns to fuck each other's butts sounds quite horny and sexy... sneaking into hotel rooms to give each other's arses a good bumming –"
"Don't forget the cock sucking," I interrupted him. "There needs to be plenty of that too!"
"Oh definitely!" he grinned back. "And plenty of rimming... at least for me!"
As I got dressed and Todd was lying on the bed in his boxers, he reminded me that I'd said we could meet up again somewhere closer to my place.
"Yeah," I agreed. "There's a Holiday Inn just off the motorway junction."
"I don't want it just to be about sex though, Barry," he said. "I want to... I dunno... go out for meals and to the cinema and stuff as well..."
"Okay," I smiled. "But no holdin' hands in the back row, mind."
He didn't smile back. "Maybe I want to hold hands in the back row."
I was going to say that that was pushing things too far too fast, but then I thought, 'Oh what the fuck,' and smiled over at him.
It was like in for a penny in for a pound or whatever it was my old gran used to say.
"Okay then, Todd," I nodded. "We can hold hands in the back row if that's what does it for you."
"What about me sucking you off in the back row?" he chuckled back.
"Fuck yeah!" I laughed. "I'd be well up for that!"
I could imagine all the kissy-cuddly couples, all the young lads and lasses, smooching up in little huddles in the back row. And me and Todd, two fat lads in the middle of them, having a good snog together and then bobbing down to get our gobs round each other's stiff little porkers. The idea of it was funny and really horny in a way.
"Okay," he said. "So next time we meet up at the hotel and test out how firm the mattress is, then spend the evening together like a couple of mates...?"
I thought he was going to say "like a couple of gays" and maybe I wouldn't have minded if he had.
I said, pulling on my socks, "Yeah, I'm okay with it if you wanna do 'boyfriendy' stuff with me, Todd..."
I looked at him through the mirror when I said that. He looked surprised and then he smiled at me and nodded. I smiled back and he said, "Yeah, that'd be cool."
"Aren't you gonna get dressed?" I asked as he lay there sprawled on the bed with barely anything on. His flab was making deep creases in his skin in a way that I always think looks cute and cuddly when mine does it but which Paula says makes me look like a beached whale.
He shook his head. "Since we paid for the hotel for the night, I thought I'd make good use of it. It'll be nice to have a night away from my mam and dad for a change."
I smiled. "Go for it, mate. Might as well nick the little soaps from the bathroom too... treat yer fuckin' self."
He laughed. "There's something I'd like to nick from you if you'll let me."
"Yeah?" I asked, tying up my shoes.
"Can you leave the dirty pants you were wearing when you first undressed?"
"My dirty pants?"
"Yeah... the ones that'll smell of your cock and your arse...?"
I laughed over at him. "You really are a dirty git!"
He chuckled back. "It'll give me something to have a play with later on when I'm here on my own..."
"Yeah, and I'm sure they won't be the only thing yer playin' with!"
I said it in a sort of jokey disapproving way but really I was made up that he would want to sniff my skanky shorts. Paula would say she needed marigold gloves and a peg on her nose to pick them up and here was Todd letting me know that he was going to wank himself off while he had his nose pressed in the front and back of them.
After I'd pulled my dirty shorts out of my rucksack and thrown them over to him, he said, "Is it really a bit pervy of me to want to borrow them?"
"Yeah, just a bit," I nodded. "But I wouldn't say no to borrowing yours too!"
He laughed and looked as chuffed as I'd felt, and then pulled his shorts off to throw them over to me. I swear to God his cock was semi-hard against his leg: he'd cum twice really quickly and the thing was already halfway to stalking up again!
I kissed him like that before I let myself out: with him still stark bollock naked and running a semi. I wanted to offer to suck him off before I left - I really wanted to know how it would taste and what it would feel like – but I was already running late and I knew Paula would be asking all sorts of questions if I didn't make up the time.
So that's how we left it, that first time we hooked up. Me driving off wondering if I'd been gay all these years: part of me thinking there's no way I could be but another part – mainly the soreness of my arse – reminding me how much I'd enjoyed copping off with another bloke.
The thing is, though, I couldn't wait to see Todd again. All the way home I was thinking of things I should have asked him or told him about and all that week – at work and at home – I kept seeing things or hearing things that I knew would make him laugh. I liked to see him laugh: he had a really pretty face and he looked as cute as hell when he was creasing up at some dumbass thing I'd said.
So even though I'd told Todd we might have to wait a month before we could meet up again, that weekend I sneaked some time off from Paula and the kids to give him a call. Soon the two of us had figured out a way for us to meet up for the afternoon and evening the very next week.