Queer Writing for a Queer World
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A new year has arrived. Celebrations were muted again this year. But for me, it’s not about a party. It’s about new possibilities and a chance to make this year count. It’s time to stop wallowing in what we can’t do but embrace what we can do.
I wish you all a happy new year, and no matter what this year throws up, let’s make it a good and positive one.
//It has been a tough year for everyone. The coronavirus has caused lockdowns, followed by a relaxing of the rules only to be followed by more lockdowns. This has caused a strain on many people’s mental health, mine included.
I managed to cope for the first six months and did a little writing, but to be honest, I’ve not done much since. I think it’s probably time for some serious new year’s resolutions to get myself together and start to look after my health.
There’s one thing that really affected me, and that was a book by Sam Morris called “Don’t Fall in Love, Sam”.
The blurb say:
‘Don’t Fall In Love, Sam’ is a series of short personal essays, which takes the reader on a journey of a young, gay man’s exploration of self, body/image, identity, sex, sexuality, and existing as a real person in the digital age. It resonates with the millennial, initially, but extends to the human experience of life, and love gained and lost. Morris’ words are a truly emotional read for any queer person finding their way in this world.
I found the writing to be honest and emotional, and it really touched me. Although Sam has his own erotic website (one of the new generation of ethical porn), nothing in the writing is salacious, so don’t expect any erotica. Sam is a beautiful and complex person, which comes across in his writing. It is well worth reading.
After reading the book, I felt it would be an excellent way to excise my demons for me to write something similar, probably not for general consumption. I was in my late teens when I wrote a diary, and by writing down my, sometimes incoherent, thoughts, I came to terms with being gay in a mainly homophobic culture. Perhaps something like this would work again and allow me to come to terms with other aspects of my life.
Depression defines me more than being gay does; next year, I want to find myself again. And look after myself.
I will continue to write, as writing allows me to express my creative side, and Screeve will continue to showcase some great stories. I hope you will join me in welcoming what we hope to be a better 2022.
Everyone has a story, each story unique
Every soul is constricted, each life a journey to release
My story will continue, my life is unique, my soul will break the chains I put around it. I hope my journey lasts for many years yet and that you will join me.
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I wrote this story in 2005, the four hundredth anniversary of The Gunpowder Plot. For those not aware of this peculiar celebration, go over to Wikipedia and look it up. There is no sex in the story, but it centres on a young man set up by his interfering neighbour.
//Channel 4 has done it again. Not satisfied with Naked Attraction, they now give us Naked, Alone and Racing to Get Home. Four people are paired up, stripped naked and given a task to get to a designated end point. The first episode was aired a few days ago, and your ever vigilant webmaster took some screen caps for your delight.
The first episode had a gorgeous ginger with a full bush, it was like he was there just for me. Gingers are a guilty pleasure of mine, I’ve now found out that I’m officially a Rutiluphile.
The other bloke was Ryan, a trainee accountant. He showed us his lovely thick cock, and in one scene, he pees on the moors and when he turns back into shot, his beautiful thick cock has got longer.
I just love Channel 4!
//Well who knew it? This is not the Superman I knew growing up. The new Superman is Jon Kent, the son of Clark Kent and Lois Lane. I am really not up to date with my super heroes. It’s nice to see the world has changed. (If only a little.)
Series writer Tom Taylor told the BBC that, when he was first offered the job, he pondered “what Superman should be today.”
“It struck me that it would be a real missed opportunity if we replaced Clark Kent with another straight white saviour,” said Mr Taylor.
But who thought he would be so cute.
//There’s an interesting article on the BBC website about some advertising for the TV series “Naked Attraction”. If you click on the picture, it will take you to the article.
While I do appreciate the advert and understand it was meant to be humorous. I do agree with it being withdrawn. The essence is that “complainants argue that the ad sexualises members of the public and does so without their consent”.
I disagree. Nudity is not necessarily sexual, and the complaint seems to equate nudity with sexualisation. However, I do think it incorrectly attributes preferences to members of the public without their consent.
Would you like to be pictured up front with a sign declaring that you love being naked? Especially if you are suffering from body issues.
I do not believe it incites sexual violence (like some complaints imply), but I think it is insensitive to the victims of sexual violence and may make them uncomfortable being on such a bus.
It was a good idea but poorly executed.
Personally, I wouldn’t like to be photographed with any of these “humorous bus adverts”. Just imagine if this was you, and it was plastered all over the internet without your consent or knowledge (hence why I have blanked out the guy’s face).
If we take this argument to its logical extreme, all such bus adverts should be withdrawn for fear of making people figures of fun and ridicule. But while I agree we should draw the line somewhere, society is not grown up enough to embrace nudity as a simple freedom of expression. The majority still associate it with something sexual.
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Be careful what you wish for!
Having my email address on the internet tends to mean that you get a lot of spam. And my email has been around for many years, so I get tonnes of the stuff. So much that I just delete whole swathes of the stuff at a time.
So for the past few days, I was relieved when I didn’t seem to be getting so much. It felt so good not to have the chore of clearing it all down.
And then I tried to log in to the website to check stuff. Shit! I couldn’t log in. I left it a day in case the hosting provider was doing some maintenance or something. I checked my control panel, and I had a message that the old style was being retired, and I had to upgrade. Was that the problem? I upgraded but still couldn’t access my WordPress login pages.
If I couldn’t access the site, there would be no more updates, and I would be forced to start over again. Trust me, it takes a lot of work to create and maintain a website with so many pages as mine.
My heart sank. I had a glass of wine to stop me from getting too stressed.
The next day, I googled the error, looked through all the YouTube tutorials, followed them to the letter. Nothing worked. I had another glass of wine or two.
Then something occurred to me. I had changed my anti-virus software. I quickly uninstalled it, and ‘hey presto!’ It worked. I can now access my WordPress login page again.
So I did some tests, and that’s when I found out that none of my emails were working.
Shitting hell!
I think this calls for another glass of wine.
I left it until today to try and sort it. And I have half sorted it. I can now receive emails again.
So that’s good news to the spammers trying to get me to part with my money or data and for the readers who have been trying to email. (They never even got a bounce back, so they didn’t even know the emails weren’t getting through.)
If anyone has been emailing me with comments or submissions, I sincerely apologise and please send them again.
But I did say that I half sorted it.
I can receive it, but I can’t send it. Well, not entirely true. If I email my outlook account, it gets rejected. If I email another account, then it goes through. I get some sort of error that Outlook has blacklisted the IP address that the email is sent from.
So I’m fed up!
I’ve now created an outlook account to send emails, and I’m thinking of keeping it and dropping the screeve.org email addresses in the future.
But I’m going to keep checking to see if I can get them to work. If anyone reading this is an expert, then the error message I get is:
Diagnostic-Code: smtp; 550 5.7.1 Unfortunately, messages from [45.83.192.3] weren’t sent. Please contact your Internet service provider since part of their network is on our block list (S3140). You can also refer your provider to http://mail.live.com/mail/troubleshooting.aspx#errors. [MW2NAM10FT019.eop-nam10.prod.protection.outlook.com]
A bit of googling shows that others have the same problem, but I’ve not found a solution yet.
Wish me luck!
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Robbie takes a call from an ex-lover. It’s a phone call that could change hi slife forever. Jack comes to support Robbie while he goes for an HIV test. The love between two best friends can get you through anything.
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Robbie and Jack are now older, and it is Jack’s wedding day. The two friends are as close as they have ever been as they spend Jack’s final night as a bachelor in Robbie’s apartment.
I like writing about these two friends. They have a closeness that I wish I had with my best friend. There is no sex between them, and I seriously doubt if they ever will have sex, it would spoil the relationship. I hope you like these glimpses into defining moments of the life of these friends.
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I went through a year of lockdown and didn’t fall into a deep bout of depression. Now we are coming out of lockdown, it hits. I can’t blame it on anxiety, which I know some people are experiencing after such a long time being locked down. But I suppose that is the nature of this illness; there can be no rhyme or reason for when it strikes.
I was very conscious of my mental health during lockdown. I suppose because I knew there was a possibility of going into a depression during that difficult time, I made conscious decisions to try and stop it from happening. Now we are coming out, I have been more lax with my health, and I allowed this bout to overwhelm me.
So the lesson I have learnt this time is, don’t get cocky and complacent when you feel good; you need to keep working to keep depression at bay.